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Author Topic:   Humor Strikes back
coffee_addict
Member (Idle past 477 days)
Posts: 3645
From: Indianapolis, IN
Joined: 03-29-2004


Message 6 of 217 (245999)
09-23-2005 5:50 PM


At the end of a briefing, Rumsfeld concludes the meeting by informing Bush, "3 Brazillian soldiers just died today."
The president looks back at Rumsfeld and begins to grieve. The rest of the staff looks in amazement as the president burries his head into his hands.
Finally, the president looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

My favorite quotes of the week.
I'd sooner let John Couey, C-O-U-E-Y, who raped and buried alive little Jessica, I'd sooner let him adopt kids, than turn them over to the fags and dykes! That clear enough for ya? --Fred Phelps
Yeah, I used to question but I strive to be wise, a questioning philosopher isn't wise, a hard laborer that perhaps lacks education and only has a few simplistic beliefs but does not question those beliefs is wise. -- Guess who

  
coffee_addict
Member (Idle past 477 days)
Posts: 3645
From: Indianapolis, IN
Joined: 03-29-2004


Message 24 of 217 (254086)
10-22-2005 9:15 PM


Keep your jesus off my penis!

  
coffee_addict
Member (Idle past 477 days)
Posts: 3645
From: Indianapolis, IN
Joined: 03-29-2004


Message 38 of 217 (256091)
11-01-2005 7:30 PM


Dear God...
Ok, fine. I edited the whole thing so you guys could access the images. Sheeeese... you guys are a whiny bunch.
This message has been edited by Lam, 11-01-2005 10:33 PM

Replies to this message:
 Message 39 by coffee_addict, posted 11-01-2005 10:42 PM coffee_addict has not replied
 Message 40 by macaroniandcheese, posted 11-01-2005 10:54 PM coffee_addict has not replied

  
coffee_addict
Member (Idle past 477 days)
Posts: 3645
From: Indianapolis, IN
Joined: 03-29-2004


Message 39 of 217 (256111)
11-01-2005 10:42 PM
Reply to: Message 38 by coffee_addict
11-01-2005 7:30 PM


Re: Dear God...
There, it's fixed. Like I said, you people are a whiny bunch.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 38 by coffee_addict, posted 11-01-2005 7:30 PM coffee_addict has not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 41 by nwr, posted 11-01-2005 10:56 PM coffee_addict has not replied

  
coffee_addict
Member (Idle past 477 days)
Posts: 3645
From: Indianapolis, IN
Joined: 03-29-2004


Message 64 of 217 (259170)
11-12-2005 8:12 PM


"Failure" and goole
Go ahead and type in the word "failure" into the box and press "I'm feeling lucky" rather than search. See what happens.

Replies to this message:
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coffee_addict
Member (Idle past 477 days)
Posts: 3645
From: Indianapolis, IN
Joined: 03-29-2004


Message 86 of 217 (264640)
12-01-2005 12:46 AM


10 reasons why gay marriage is wrong.
10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong
01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.
02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.
04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.
05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.
06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.
07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.
08 Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.
09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.
10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Replies to this message:
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coffee_addict
Member (Idle past 477 days)
Posts: 3645
From: Indianapolis, IN
Joined: 03-29-2004


Message 114 of 217 (267329)
12-09-2005 7:52 PM


Bush has a speechologist
Click here for proof!
This message has been edited by Lam, 12-09-2005 07:52 PM

  
coffee_addict
Member (Idle past 477 days)
Posts: 3645
From: Indianapolis, IN
Joined: 03-29-2004


Message 117 of 217 (267859)
12-11-2005 6:34 PM


Rrhain, I think you would like this one
At New York's Kennedy Airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, protractor, set square, slide rule and calculator. At a morning press conference, a White House spokesman said authorities believe the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. The man is being charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of maths instruction.
"Al-Gebra is a fearsome cult,"the spokesman said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute value. They use secret code names like `x' and `y' and refer to themselves as `unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of mediaeval, with co-ordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, `there are three sides to every triangle'."
When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of maths instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes."

Replies to this message:
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