Obituaries

Although fighting evolutionists was his hobby, it is ironic that Skeptick died of what is known in evolutionary circles as "thinning the herd". While tragic to him and his family, the passing of Skeptick reduces the chances of producing offspring that will perform stupid hazardous acts.

Hmm. A Big Gulp, huh? I would have sworn that I heard that unmistakable pop that results from overinflating oneself!

Following a spastic outburst in the EvC Free for All, demonologist and flatulance expert Stephen Fretwell decided to show all the Evilutionists that his Hypothetico-Deductive "science" was indeed an alternative to Popper's H-D and methodological naturalism. Having been goaded by Mammuthus, Percy, and holmes to provide evidence for his assertions, the straw that broke the camels back was Mr. Hambre's insistance that Kid Rock can sing. Armed with a bottle of gin, a rope, a copy of the bible, a digital camera, a can of Beefaroni and a lighter, Dr. Fretwell decided to raise the plausibility from 0.6 to 0.61 that demons exist and that farts are evidence for them. Taking a swig from the gin, Dr. Fretwell used the rope to gain access to the area of the local zoo housing the zoo's sole tapir. Reasoning that since tapirs look kind of funny, they must be possessed by demons (which incidentally, just thinking this raises the plausibility from 0.6 to 0.65), Dr. Fretwell (being short and stout), stood on the bible to gain a better view into the demon escape orifice or DEO of the Tapir (not to be confused with Ronny James DIO though both are known to make funny sounds). After waiting for hours and not witnessing any demons, Dr. Fretwell opened the can of Beefaroni and fed it to the tapir. After noticing a stink Dr. Fretwell wiped his upper lip..the stink remained so he gleefully approached the DEO again. However, it was rather dark by now so he used the lighter to get a better look. The combination of the tapirs Beefaroni induced wind, the gin on Fretwell's breathe and fire lead to a great explosion which burned the tapir's DEO and caused the tapir to kick backwards violently. Dr. Fretwell was thrown into the neighboring peccary cage where he was consumed by the perpetually angry suids. The flying digital camera was inadvertently activated. When examined by police, the last image on the digital camera was a picture of a poster announcing a Kid Rock concert. So the late Stephen ben Yeshua while failing to prove the existence demons, did raise Mr.Hambre's hypothesis that Kid Rock can sing from 0 to 0.1. Go figure.

Reports from Kansas allege that Stephen Fretwell continues to generate controversy (and a fairly pungent pong) even in death. His funeral was disrupted by disagreement over who was to deliver his eulogy. A last-minute replacement was needed for Darwin’s Terrier, who is being held on unspecified charges under the provisions of the PATRIOT Act. John Salty Davison’s whereabouts are evidently known only to Dr. Scott Page, currently in hiding. Dr. Alan Cresswell is unable to leave the UK due to his pending trial for beating himself up in a pub in Hackney. Syamsu (still inexplicably in great demand for interviews by major science periodicals in Chicago, Munich, and London) was contacted at the Mein Camphor laundromat in Nganjuk, but he claimed to have already delivered Fretwell’s eulogy and said he deplores this constant repitition. The farewell to Fretwell was finally delivered by Phatboy, and nobody could make head nor tail out of a word he said.

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The dark nursery of evolution is very dark indeed.
Brad McFall

Thats because I was speaking in Bible Code!

Natick, MA: Discovery Institute janitor Esteban Hambre was struck by lightning today, then fell down a materialist latrine hole after slipping on a banana peel. Witnesses describe the incident as 'kick ass.' Despite his lifelong wish to have the Variations for Orchestra op. 31 by Arnold Schoenberg played at his funeral by the Boston Symphony Orchestra, the family has settled on having a boombox blare that song by Outkast. No, the other one. Although his will stipulated that his remains should be cremated and his ashes sprinkled along a specified stretch of the Pentland Hills south of Edinburgh, Scotland, his body will in fact be dumped somewhere along the utility road behind his house in Framingham.[This message has been edited by MrHambre, 03-08-2004]

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The dark nursery of evolution is very dark indeed.
Brad McFall

Before the wise-asses kick into gear:I PERSONALLY WOULD, AT THIS TIME, FIND ANY KEN OBITS TO BE MOST UNWELCOME.The guy's under suspension - let's not pile on even more.Adminnemooseus

Randman was under the impression that Skeptick had been banned from .Despite Skeptick's tragic demise, he is still in possession of full posting rights at this forum, if not posting abilities at his computer. To the best of my knowledge, he never had any restrictions placed on him either here or, alas, at home.Adminnemooseus