Humor Strikes back

Whoaaa! Made me reach for my 'Support Our Troops--Bring Them Home" magnetic ribbon...And can you imagine that baby in a Stars 'n Stripes paint job?

An archive of Tom Tommorrow cartoons can be found here.Moose

of all the revolutionaries I have known, you are the most revolting?(apologies to Walt Kelly's two crows)

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we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand

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RebelAAmerican.Zen[Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.

A joke I found a while back and found rather amusing.What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
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The Holocaust.This message has been edited by Cthulhu, 12-07-2005 09:56 PM

Carico said here: I just cannot let this one go, this completely new insight has given me a brilliant idea.It is a well known fact that the ancestor is an endangered species. Most of them are dead, after all.
I suggest that we start a rigorous ancestor breeding programme. Once we have a healthy population of ancestors, we might try to release them in the wild.We might even try to cross-breed them with predecessors! That would of course involve a bit of bestiality, but if we could just manage to get rid of the gene for talking by a clever breeding strategy, nobody needs to know.I think Moorhead, MN USA would be a suitable place to start the world's first ancestor breeding farm. Lots of expertise there.

Ahem.As a rare, living ancestor, one who, in all humility, has demonstrated considerable survival capacity and fecundity, I would like to be the first to dedicate my body to this important new program (to have anyone else dedicating my body sounds vaguely alarming).Howver, I would like to point out that in the interest of maximal ancestor diversity, the program should begin with a cross-breeding cohort of descendants (not mine, of course--ick!). Once Moorhead, MN, has rounded up a sufficient number of nubile...er, suitable, descendants, my time is their time.In the name of this exciting new branch of creation science, no scarifice is too great, nor any labor too large.

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Just because as we dig a little deeper, our notions change does not mean the discoveries are not useful.--randman

Please fill out this questionaire and we'll get back to you.1. Do you reproduce sexually or asexually? ¹2. Are you male, female or hermaphrodite?3. Are you a pure-bred ancestor?4. Do you lay eggs?4. Does ancestry run in your family?5. Do you object against incest?6. How about bestiality?7. Strangle sex?8. How many times a day must you be fed?9. Do you require a stable, a dark cave or underwater² sleeping quarters?10. How many legs do you have? ³____________________________ ¹If asexually, don't bother to continue. We'll keep you in our database though, in case we think of other interesting experiments.²Please indicate sweet water, salt water, or brackish.³When more than six, we refer you to our culinary division. We don't like creatures with more than six legs, except when steamed and served with lemon-caper mayonnaise.This message has been edited by Parasomnium, 09-Dec-2005 03:15 PM

I am true to my roots. I'm a fast learner. Yes--only breeding was involved, no other method. In several manners of speaking, I have laid eggs. Positively stampedes--Jones clan, doncha know. Only if all men are not brothers. Your place or mine? I have never strangled anything but desire, and I regretted it. I hope you will take my contrition into account. With copious hydration, I can forgo feeding for extended periods. The dark cave option sounds attractive, but it is not a strict requirement: a fur-lined Jungle Room should suffice. Please consider a spinning ceiling-basket--the Dolly Dervish brand is best. No, not 3, just two at the moment: I am not an extremist.However, in case this is a trick question, I would like to point out that I do have a trick leg. Would you like to see it? If not, perhaps your avatar would?[Groucho_cigar_wag]Comments: Please keep me in mind. While I am not as good as I once was, I'm as good once as I ever was.References--if desired.[\Groucho_cigar_wag]

Ah, references. Yes, excellent. Well, just one question really, and then it should be in the bag: those eggs you mentioned, can they erm... sort of, attest that they erm... got laid by you?

1. Do you reproduce sexually or asexually?
neither.2. Are you male, female or hermaphrodite?
female3. Are you a pure-bred ancestor?
i'm no one's ancestor4. Do you lay eggs?
every month without fail.4. Does ancestry run in your family?
apparently.5. Do you object against incest?
i don't understand the question.6. How about bestiality?
i think there's a video of a guy getting killed by a horse.
it would be bad enough for me to squirt out a non-hybridized offspring.7. Strangle sex?
i've choked a chicken, so to speak. but not my own. see answer to number ten.8. How many times a day must you be fed?
don't feed the fatties.9. Do you require a stable, a dark cave or underwater2 sleeping quarters?
yes. cave.10. How many legs do you have?
only 2. i lay eggs.This message has been edited by brennakimi, 12-09-2005 02:32 PM

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i'm worldwide bitch, act like ya'll don't know.

Questionaire evaluation.Subject: brennakimi_____________________ Subject may have to be drugged to induce reproduction. Further info required: nubile? (If yes, notify Omivorous.) Problem with understanding premise of ancestor breeding programme. Perhaps brain missing. (Note: may be useful in breeding out talking gene.) Notify kitchen. Nodule of brain after all? Incest no problem. Cesarean? Second thought, better not try large animals with this one. Note: chihuahua as roommate? Inexperienced. Note: book elephant house. Cancel elephant house, order extra semtex. Introduce to echidna.Overall conclusion: worth an experiment.

did i just pass a datability exam?

This entire survey by Parasomnium makes me feel very uneasy. When I read through the questions, I feel raped and trapped. But I'll answer one of them.6. BestialityIn spring a young man's fancy often turns to thoughts of sheep.

Sheep? Well, I never! Plural? That's wicked! That would amount to... polygamy!