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Author Topic:   abstinece-only sex education
macaroniandcheese 
Suspended Member (Idle past 3948 days)
Posts: 4258
Joined: 05-24-2004


Message 271 of 306 (314548)
05-23-2006 8:39 AM
Reply to: Message 269 by Silent H
05-23-2006 6:22 AM


Re: misunderstanding
Hey, I just got done saying that what you described is not always if ever considered illegal. And I also brought up many things you might consider fine are illegal in some places, and where not illegal now, were illegal just a few years back and can be again.
If homosexual marriage is made illegal and indeed unconstitutional, my guess is you would not favor teachers telling your kids they should view that as proper. Heck, would you be for them telling your kids porn is illegal?
And again I might point out that your suggestuon is 100% a recipe for indoctrination. Teach the law as if it is fact, and it is as if it is fact, rather than merely current legislation which may be errant.
you ask me what i would want the program to do regarding something that is illegal. i replied appropriately and now you're telling me 'but it's not always illegal. well la de freakin da. if it's not illegal then there's no issue. i think a lot of things are proper that are illegal, namely armed revolt. homosexual sex is not something i'm worried about. and porn is not illegal. at least not in most places.
the law is never fact in a democratic state. it merely reflects the opinion of the supported majority party. the only fact is that you will be charged if you break it. but civil disobedience is a beautiful thing. we should have gay love-ins on courthouse steps if they ever outlaw it.
What you are discussing is regret and realization that they were manipulated. I find it is not as important to teach a "resist or die" approach, but rather good logic skills in general and coping skills for when logic and will have failed.
who said resist or die? you're crazy.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 269 by Silent H, posted 05-23-2006 6:22 AM Silent H has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 273 by Silent H, posted 05-24-2006 5:08 AM macaroniandcheese has replied

Faith 
Suspended Member (Idle past 1464 days)
Posts: 35298
From: Nevada, USA
Joined: 10-06-2001


Message 272 of 306 (314619)
05-23-2006 1:09 PM
Reply to: Message 270 by Silent H
05-23-2006 7:58 AM


Re: Attempt at a complete outline of my position
Abstinence-only except within monogamous marriage was once the cultural standard, however frequently violated, and it ought to be the guiding standard of ANY training on sex at ANY level if a culture wants to remain healthy. That's my position.
I accept that that is your position. However, I am hoping you'll keep an open mind on that position. Being dogmatic about it means you might miss something of value to your community and something that could be acceptable but you hadn't thought of before.
What for instance?
There are no doubt necessary and good aspects to the clinical presentations, but there may also be elements I'd want to object to -- I don't know off the top of my head, but it would be too complicated a discussion for me to want to get into right now.
I honestly believe that your hesitancy is based solely on your fear of the unknown.
No, it's based on a lack of knowledge. I haven't investigated the agenda of sex ed programs. And a Christian's primary concern is always that nothing that violates God's will be taught, and if I don't know exactly what's promoted and ponder its implications I simply can't have an opinion.
A purely clinical analysis leaves no room for moralizing (for the SR) and can't really give anything to object to, except perhaps that it will involve graphic language? Of course that should not be objectionable to Xians as the Bible does not have issues with that. It is setting dependent... otherwise doctors would not be allowed.
Sometimes mere clinical presentations do exert a permissive moral force, and this is why I'd have to think carefully about what is actually specifically taught.
You are putting more into what I said than what I meant. You are correct that part of the SR is a moral relativism. I would point out that its roots are far longer than you are letting on, and not necessarily hinged on purely sexual politics, but certainly you are right that moral relativism's cultural popularity rose during the same period as the SR.
Good, we agree on this. As for the roots being longer, I'm certainly aware that there is a history of such ideas that goes way back, but always within a circumscribed and rather elitist social context. What's new is their becoming culture-wide as you are acknowledging.
That said, I was not meaning that good and bad should not be taught by educators in the sense that they should teach there is no good and bad. I am stating for practical purposes that some of the key principal issues are morally neutral and may be addressed in such a fashion. That is it is unnecessary to discuss moral issues at all including anything which supports relativism in order to alleviate problems we are facing.
Just as is the case with some areas of science, especially social science, I think there is a tremendous naivete involved in this idea that mere facts about potent social phenomena can be truly value-free. There is a definite morality that is promoted by many such supposedly morally neutral practical presentations. Since we are not discussing anything in particular here, this is of necessity abstract and vague, but it is why I have avoided this arena of the discussion. It's a big area, and it is NOT necessarily morality-neutral.
Whether a hedonist or an ascetic, the reproductive system functions in the exact same way and the same issues may be encountered. Thus those can be taught to alleviate suffering.
Um there would be no need to present, say, the graphic particulars of the danger of AIDS from anal penetration to an ascetic I would assume. And would you deny that such a discussion tacitly validates anal penetration by emphasizing how to do it in a way that minimizes the health risk? There's an example of how mere supposedly value-neutral facts can carry a moral message -- always a permissive message of course. Yet of course you might answer but if they don't know the facts then they may do it carelessly and get AIDS. Uh huh. Well, if abstinence-only were effectively taught maybe not. In any case I think I've made the point that even the clinical factual side of sex ed is not some kind of free zone in which we can expect to find common ground as easily as you seem to be suggesting. And please don't jump to the conclusion that I'm advocating withholding any information. I'm simply saying that information is not necessarily morally neutral as you claim.
Will have to take up the rest of your post later, if the thread lasts long enough. Or maybe I will add it into this post.
Edited by Faith, : to change "no information is morally neutral" to "information is not necessarily morally neutral."
Edited by Faith, : grammar, clarity, changed "discuss" to "present."

This message is a reply to:
 Message 270 by Silent H, posted 05-23-2006 7:58 AM Silent H has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 274 by Silent H, posted 05-24-2006 6:35 AM Faith has replied

Silent H
Member (Idle past 5839 days)
Posts: 7405
From: satellite of love
Joined: 12-11-2002


Message 273 of 306 (314808)
05-24-2006 5:08 AM
Reply to: Message 271 by macaroniandcheese
05-23-2006 8:39 AM


Re: misunderstanding
you ask me what i would want the program to do regarding something that is illegal.
No I didn't. You have been the one injecting commentary that a program must teach about things that are illegal. My whole point was to point out that illegality is a poor criteria for teaching about anything in sex ed.
Heck, sex ed itself has been illegal in certain places at certain times.
The realities of sex and risks within them are indifferent to laws regarding sex. Thus your desire to teach kids that "If you love me" is rape and like aids, because it is illegal, is dependent on locality at best in order to allow such instruction, and wrong in the objective world of facts regarding sex.
if it's not illegal then there's no issue.
Then it is exactly as I said in the first place anyway. You have yet to show any support for your contention that "if you love me" is illegal anywhere. So why are you suggesting it is a natural part of sex ed?
the law is never fact in a democratic state. it merely reflects the opinion of the supported majority party. the only fact is that you will be charged if you break it. but civil disobedience is a beautiful thing. we should have gay love-ins on courthouse steps if they ever outlaw it.
This only supports my position and undercuts your own. How does this at all argue that sex ed courses should include instructions regarding laws? Its interesting that your standing argument is that in the case homosexuality is outlawed you'd be for protests against it, and the state indoctrinating kids that the protesters are unhealthy and criminal and they should not try and become one of them.
Oh and by the way, certain kinds of porn (and I am not just talking about child sex) is illegal in the US. Come to Europe to find the true variety of porn available, and NOT allowed in the US by law. Within the last several years fisting and some violence or blasphemy themed porn has been deemed illegal (or is in court to determine its new status). And in ANY case, it is illegal for kids to look at porn. The point was about sex ed which is generally to children.
Given your argument that what is illegal must be taught to kids as something to be avoided and fought against, do you believe that kids ought to be taught that porn is bad and unhealthy?
who said resist or die? you're crazy.
I said "resist or die". I was using that to describe your approach which specifically argued that children must be armed in order to ward off manipulation. According to your own words failure to resist is equal to being raped and/or getting aids. It was clear hyperbole, which was inaccurate, unhealthy, and unuseful.
I was contrasting that to an approach that taught (outside of sex ed classes) skills in logic to help identify forms of argument including emotional appeals, as well as coping skills to deal with how one learns from mistakes and other things one does not like having happened to them. In this way people are armed to deal with a variety of manipulations, but not to view having "bought" such an argument as anything more than a learning experience.
I will most likely be returning to lurker mode. Next couple days tops. You can answer this or not. I tried to make it less asking of questions, and more clarifying my position. If I do not reply to your reply, it is because I am back to work.

holmes {in temp decloak from lurker mode}
"What a fool believes he sees, no wise man has the power to reason away." (D.Bros)

This message is a reply to:
 Message 271 by macaroniandcheese, posted 05-23-2006 8:39 AM macaroniandcheese has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 275 by macaroniandcheese, posted 05-24-2006 8:04 AM Silent H has replied

Silent H
Member (Idle past 5839 days)
Posts: 7405
From: satellite of love
Joined: 12-11-2002


Message 274 of 306 (314812)
05-24-2006 6:35 AM
Reply to: Message 272 by Faith
05-23-2006 1:09 PM


Re: Attempt at a complete outline of my position
What for instance?
I thought my statement and meaning were clear. Clinical sex education may be of value to your community and something that could be acceptable, despite not coming from a standard Biblical viewpoint or including any Biblical reference. Perhaps you hadn't thought about clinical sex education in this way, because of your concern for larger cultural issues as well as entanglements which have occured between SR moral vantage points and Sex Ed programs.
No, it's based on a lack of knowledge. I haven't investigated the agenda of sex ed programs. And a Christian's primary concern is always that nothing that violates God's will be taught, and if I don't know exactly what's promoted and ponder its implications I simply can't have an opinion.
Just to let you know that is exactly the same as "I honestly believe that your hesitancy is based solely on your fear of the unknown." You lack knowledge and fear that it might contain something you would not desire.
If you notice, your default position for not having an opinion was promotion of (or at least defense of) another form of sex ed. And you do not seem to be accepting my statements (which seem pretty much at face value and not requiring much investigation to prove) that sex ed which is limited to factual statements about how the body works does not intrinsically advocate any moral position, and by its nature cannot conflict with your own.
Sometimes mere clinical presentations do exert a permissive moral force, and this is why I'd have to think carefully about what is actually specifically taught.
Look I get that you'd be interested in reviewing any specific program to make sure it is purely clinical, but I am at a loss at how clinical commentary of any kind can exert a permissive moral force of any kind.
In a chemistry class we will talk about acids and bases, and in some classes pharmacological effects of certain chemicals. In no way can that be understood as tantamount to suggesting drinking acids and bases is up in the air for your choice, or using the lab to produce street drugs for sale to other students is fine. Neither does any of it mean people should or should not use their knowledge for making armaments.
That's like saying you have to review a cooking show because Julia Child's not reminding people that they shouldn't gut living people, while gutting and cleaning a chicken, might be morally permissive.
Clinical knowledge is by definition lacking moral force. It is just facts so you know how mechanical processes function in the world on a physical level. I suppose that can act as a rorschach test. If you see the fact that a penis rises during stimulation as an argument that you should do this at any time, that says something about your inate beliefs and faith rather than what anyone is telling you.
And that is why questions about appropriate use should be directed to a person's family and other important people in their lives. Those people will help them understand how the facts of how things work physically, fit into the nature of how they live and view the world. Even my world view requires explanation beyond a clinical description.
I'm certainly aware that there is a history of such ideas that goes way back, but always within a circumscribed and rather elitist social context. What's new is their becoming culture-wide as you are acknowledging.
Ohhh I'm willing to agree to disagree on this, as the evidence can be read in many ways, and practices differed wildly among past communities. But let me point a few things out (and remember I am limiting this to western culture) which I think paints a slightly different, and more accurate picture.
Before the rise of monotheism, sexual freedom was commonplace (even if restricted for some classes of women) and not in the least an elitist form of accepted entertainment and discussion. After the rise of monotheism, sexual freedom was intellectually hobbled and bound but still commonly practiced. Prostitution was no longer sacred, but was accepted and more than commonplace. Even St. Augustine had argued vocally for the existence of prostitution in order to make sure nothing worse could come about.
The enlightenment brought sexual freedom back into intellectual "acceptance". The libertines of the 1700's make the one's of the SR pale in comparison. Sure, it was villified in many quarters, but it existed in greater force than it does today and practiced more widely (even if denounced). It wasn't until the 1800s, after the purging and settlement of the west that the so called "progressives" rose to power and smashed down sexuality, including expression, particularly in the US.
I think most of your vision of the past is rooted in somewhat mythical histories created during that time period, and which existed to some degree in fact during that late time up through the 1950's. This is the period where the great brothel districts were closed down across the US, and the concept of Europeans being more decadent arose.
Homosexuality certainly waxed and waned differently than sexual freedom in general. I'd grant you that after the rise of monotheism, you did not see it in intellectual acceptance (besides a brief stint among the 1700s libertines) until the SR. Also public sexual communication definitely took off to make it more of an every day thing than in the past (post monotheism). Though that may have more to do with improved communication technology and changes in business practices.
I don't know, maybe you can agree with that assessment. If not, its not critical.
There is a definite morality that is promoted by many such supposedly morally neutral practical presentations.
You can keep repeating this statement, but that does not make it true. Xian doctors learn the same clinical facts, and that did not change them, or their opinion of what is right or wrong with regard to sexuality. I can agree that any specific program may CLAIM to neutrality, and actually contain moral content. But that is different than saying clinical sex ed promotes a moral position, including a moral relativism based on not mentioning morals.
In any case I think I've made the point that even the clinical factual side of sex ed is not some kind of free zone in which we can expect to find common ground as easily as you seem to be suggesting.
Actually, you didn't. You made one argument along those lines, the rest were assertions it was true. Here is your singular argument...
there would be no need to present, say, the graphic particulars of the danger of AIDS from anal penetration to an ascetic I would assume. And would you deny that such a discussion tacitly validates anal penetration by emphasizing how to do it in a way that minimizes the health risk? There's an example of how mere supposedly value-neutral facts can carry a moral message -- always a permissive message of course.
This description is inaccurate. The realm of sex does contain anal sex, whether one is an ascetic or not. Thus it would be described, though it doesn't have to be done graphically, along with the risks involved. The idea that an ascetic is not aided in knowledge of things he does not perform is not apparent to me.
That would be like saying since no one should immolate themselves and want to burn themselves, no people should be taught about burn wounds?
What about ascetic doctors who may have to deal with people that have already had anal sex? Its sort of too late to say "say no". Or with people that are practicing it and are not willing to change their practice? Granting them knowledge to protect themselves from harm would be more than the Xian thing to do. Indeed lack of knowledge regarding that might lead to misdiagnosis or understanding of something going on.
The facts of it existing and what happens within it, do not go away by turning a blind eye to it. And it almost seems to indicate a lack of faith or willpower to think a person might be turned based on a statement of facts. Indeed one would think knowledge regarding anal sex would be welcomed by Xian advocates. It is by far the most risky of sexual behaviors, with condoms or no.
Isn't it better for a Xian... instead of saying "I don't know about that, I just don't do it"... to be able to say "Yes I know about that {laying out the facts so knowledge is seen on that subject}, and beyond its physical risks which are greater than other practices, there are moral and spiritual repercussions discussed within my faith. That's why I do not practice it."?
And that is without the issue that some people will fail. The continued mystery of anal sex might heighten a person's interest, rather than defuse it. And the lack of knowledge regarding how it can be practiced in a safer way, could lead to more devastating circumstances than anyone would desire. Acknowledgement =/= validation of a practice. However ignorance = potentially greater threat from a practice whether one acknowledges it or not.
Do you believe that if you were given the clinical facts about anal sex, you would abandon your own faith in order to engage in it? That it would tempt you? I know I have read plenty of clinical facts regarding sex I would not want to engage in and it certainly hasn't tempted me in the least.
And finally, I should add that the Bible itself describes sexual activities. It even describes some lusty encounters that some girls were enjoying as involving men hung like donkeys and cumming like horses (or is that vice versa?). Thus the Bible itself mentions possibilities of what people can do, and pleasure they may gain. It then mentions risks they faced... though some never really did such as King David whose wild sexual practices are legendary and lauded (to some degree) as examples of his greatness.
If the Bible can mention sex acts, it seems strange to claim that people cannot discuss their existence and factual repercussions of those activities. Such instruction would seem to fit nicely with any ongoing Biblical instruction.
As far as my worldview goes, clinical instruction is actually inhibitive of true absolute hedonism. Instruction is not simply going with the flow of what feels good at the time. Sure it doesn't say stop, but while one is learning one is not doing, and knowledge about the world of sex makes one understand it is not (just like any human activity) completely carefree.
I hope I didn't come off too edgy or pointed. I see something that is of value to use both in this. More than advocating my philosophy I am interested in reducing a plague which is hitting everyone.
Edited by holmes, : minor fixes

holmes {in temp decloak from lurker mode}
"What a fool believes he sees, no wise man has the power to reason away." (D.Bros)

This message is a reply to:
 Message 272 by Faith, posted 05-23-2006 1:09 PM Faith has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 276 by Faith, posted 05-24-2006 9:33 AM Silent H has replied

macaroniandcheese 
Suspended Member (Idle past 3948 days)
Posts: 4258
Joined: 05-24-2004


Message 275 of 306 (314827)
05-24-2006 8:04 AM
Reply to: Message 273 by Silent H
05-24-2006 5:08 AM


Re: misunderstanding
According to your own words failure to resist is equal to being raped and/or getting aids. It was clear hyperbole, which was inaccurate, unhealthy, and unuseful.
it is not the failure to resist that is damaging, but the manipulation.
i'm tired of the foreskin adhesions anyways.
just another meaningless argument in which you have failed to understand what i'm talking about.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 273 by Silent H, posted 05-24-2006 5:08 AM Silent H has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 277 by Silent H, posted 05-25-2006 3:12 AM macaroniandcheese has replied

Faith 
Suspended Member (Idle past 1464 days)
Posts: 35298
From: Nevada, USA
Joined: 10-06-2001


Message 276 of 306 (314847)
05-24-2006 9:33 AM
Reply to: Message 274 by Silent H
05-24-2006 6:35 AM


Re: Attempt at a complete outline of my position
What for instance?
=====
I thought my statement and meaning were clear. Clinical sex education may be of value to your community and something that could be acceptable, despite not coming from a standard Biblical viewpoint or including any Biblical reference. Perhaps you hadn't thought about clinical sex education in this way, because of your concern for larger cultural issues as well as entanglements which have occured between SR moral vantage points and Sex Ed programs.
But I'm not so ignorant holmes, I just haven't studied up on the particulars. There is also a lot written by Christians in this general area that I'm not up on. And I was asking for specifics when I said, What for instance? -- not just another generalization. I figure you have thought about what in particular Christians might need to know. If not, then not.
No, it's based on a lack of knowledge. I haven't investigated the agenda of sex ed programs. And a Christian's primary concern is always that nothing that violates God's will be taught, and if I don't know exactly what's promoted and ponder its implications I simply can't have an opinion.
Just to let you know that is exactly the same as "I honestly believe that your hesitancy is based solely on your fear of the unknown." You lack knowledge and fear that it might contain something you would not desire.
OK, I'll accept that. But the word "fear" is why I objected. "Fear of the unknown" has a spooky ring to it. There's no fear, just prudence. It would be stupid to rush ahead with the first thought off the top of my head before I know what the whole picture is.
If you notice, your default position for not having an opinion was promotion of (or at least defense of) another form of sex ed. And you do not seem to be accepting my statements (which seem pretty much at face value and not requiring much investigation to prove) that sex ed which is limited to factual statements about how the body works does not intrinsically advocate any moral position, and by its nature cannot conflict with your own.
As I say later on in my post that is simply very likely not the case. Factual information is very often laden with moral implications.
Sometimes mere clinical presentations do exert a permissive moral force, and this is why I'd have to think carefully about what is actually specifically taught.
Look I get that you'd be interested in reviewing any specific program to make sure it is purely clinical, but I am at a loss at how clinical commentary of any kind can exert a permissive moral force of any kind.
Well I gave an example later. Substitute the graphic particulars of any other kind of sexual practice for "anal sex."
That's like saying you have to review a cooking show because Julia Child's not reminding people that they shouldn't gut living people, while gutting and cleaning a chicken, might be morally permissive.
No, I think my example shows that is not how I am thinking of it.
Clinical knowledge is by definition lacking moral force. It is just facts so you know how mechanical processes function in the world on a physical level.
I believe I made my point and your argument isn't working.
Ohhh I'm willing to agree to disagree on this, as the evidence can be read in many ways, and practices differed wildly among past communities. But let me point a few things out (and remember I am limiting this to western culture) which I think paints a slightly different, and more accurate picture.
Before the rise of monotheism, sexual freedom was commonplace (even if restricted for some classes of women) and not in the least an elitist form of accepted entertainment and discussion.
Commonplace where? To what extent? Among what classes of people? What are your sources of information about this?
After the rise of monotheism, sexual freedom was intellectually hobbled and bound but still commonly practiced. Prostitution was no longer sacred, but was accepted and more than commonplace. Even St. Augustine had argued vocally for the existence of prostitution in order to make sure nothing worse could come about.
The enlightenment brought sexual freedom back into intellectual "acceptance". The libertines of the 1700's make the one's of the SR pale in comparison. Sure, it was villified in many quarters, but it existed in greater force than it does today and practiced more widely (even if denounced). It wasn't until the 1800s, after the purging and settlement of the west that the so called "progressives" rose to power and smashed down sexuality, including expression, particularly in the US.
I have no reason to doubt what you are saying, but what's your point? It's no less sin and no less judged by the moral law just because it was practiced freely in some quarters.
I think most of your vision of the past is rooted in somewhat mythical histories created during that time period, and which existed to some degree in fact during that late time up through the 1950's. This is the period where the great brothel districts were closed down across the US, and the concept of Europeans being more decadent arose.
All I've talked about is the general mores of communities, not the level of sexual permissiveness that existed in spite of them. Do you dispute that communities in general have tended to have conservative sexual mores?
Homosexuality certainly waxed and waned differently than sexual freedom in general. I'd grant you that after the rise of monotheism, you did not see it in intellectual acceptance (besides a brief stint among the 1700s libertines) until the SR.
Who are these 1700s libertines may I ask? Located where? It sounds to me like a small group who probably considered themselves an elite, which fits in fine with what I have been saying.
There is a definite morality that is promoted by many such supposedly morally neutral practical presentations.
========
You can keep repeating this statement, but that does not make it true. Xian doctors learn the same clinical facts, and that did not change them, or their opinion of what is right or wrong with regard to sexuality.
We are talking about how young people hear things, not doctors.
I can agree that any specific program may CLAIM to neutrality, and actually contain moral content. But that is different than saying clinical sex ed promotes a moral position, including a moral relativism based on not mentioning morals.
I haven't developed my thoughts along these lines beyond a few statements but I assure you that I am strongly convinced of what I'm saying.
You now go on and on and on for multiple paragraphs arguing for the giving of information as if I'd advocated withholding information which I explicitly asked you not to assume, so I'm not going to answer any of that.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 274 by Silent H, posted 05-24-2006 6:35 AM Silent H has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 278 by Silent H, posted 05-25-2006 4:48 AM Faith has not replied

Silent H
Member (Idle past 5839 days)
Posts: 7405
From: satellite of love
Joined: 12-11-2002


Message 277 of 306 (315061)
05-25-2006 3:12 AM
Reply to: Message 275 by macaroniandcheese
05-24-2006 8:04 AM


Re: misunderstanding
it is not the failure to resist that is damaging, but the manipulation.
Sheesh, what kind of doubletalk is that? Unless you mean a person is damaged just by the fact that someone tries to manipulate, even if they do not succeed. How would that occur?
i'm tired of the foreskin adhesions anyways. just another meaningless argument in which you have failed to understand what i'm talking about.
Yeah, I have no idea what you are talking about when you discuss foreskin adhesions and it sounds like a meaningless argument.
I like how you and schraf both resort to the "you don't understand what I am talking about" argument, when my replies to both of you contain questions requiring you to clarify what you are saying... and you both ignore them!
I'll tell you what it looks like to me. You make claims and are called on them, and you don't have any evidence or logic to support them. And since your position is not well thought out to begin with, when asked to flesh out general motherhood positions in detail, you decide to run rather than admit you are not sure how it can be done. Lobbing bombs back at me as if it is my failure to understand.
Let me put it to you this way: If you can't get me to understand your position, how on earth are you going to get a bunch of kids or most other people to understand it for the purposes of a sex ed course?

holmes {in temp decloak from lurker mode}
"What a fool believes he sees, no wise man has the power to reason away." (D.Bros)

This message is a reply to:
 Message 275 by macaroniandcheese, posted 05-24-2006 8:04 AM macaroniandcheese has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 280 by macaroniandcheese, posted 05-25-2006 9:50 AM Silent H has replied

Silent H
Member (Idle past 5839 days)
Posts: 7405
From: satellite of love
Joined: 12-11-2002


Message 278 of 306 (315068)
05-25-2006 4:48 AM
Reply to: Message 276 by Faith
05-24-2006 9:33 AM


Re: Attempt at a complete outline of my position
And I was asking for specifics when I said, What for instance? -- not just another generalization.
Okay, but you have to admit there is no way I had to understand "what for instance?" in the way you meant it. That wasn't so clear, particularly given the quote of mine before it.
What Xians need to know was getting somewhat fleshed out by the points raised by both Schraf and Jar as well as others. Although there may have been a seeming concentration on moral "failures" to abstain as having been the recipients of problems, that is not necessarily the case. It has also been documented (and I am sorry but because of time pressures which will soon have me not posting anymore I cannot dig this up right now) that those who have waited dutifully for marriage have been stung by not understanding what pregnancy or health risks are posed by sex and how to avoid problems.
Thus they are benefitted by such knowledge, even if later, rather than earlier.
"Fear of the unknown" has a spooky ring to it. There's no fear, just prudence. It would be stupid to rush ahead with the first thought off the top of my head before I know what the whole picture is.
Heheheh... that smacks of pride. In any case, there is a difference between prudence and hesitation. The reports from the front (as presented in the OP and supporting documents) more than suggest that rushing ahead with abs only education was imprudent, and the relative success of nonabs only ed more prudent.
This is why I am suggesting it is not wholly prudence on your part. You did not withhold all judgement, but did support one while detracted from another. If it was to be based on lack of info it should have been all over the board.
Commonplace where? To what extent? Among what classes of people? What are your sources of information about this?
This is why I said I was willing to agree to disagree. Given the fragmented nature of past civilizations it would require a bit of detail to flesh this out, and I just don't have the time anymore to do this. I wish I did as I like this subject.
But let's put it this way, your own text THE BIBLE, which you hold to be pretty much indisputable goes on at length regarding the widespread sexual immorality of ALL NATIONS surrounding Israel. The Hebrews enacted moral laws which have been extolled by Jews and Xians alike as the first in the world. And they were then imposed on others and wars fought to crush their opposition. Sodom and Gomorah are thought to be tales of such rampant hedonism, but similar tales may be found throughout (for example Judges and the prodigal son). Even as late as the times of the New Testament, prostitution is clearly existent among the lower classes. Thus that source alone should be enough.
If you want more, you can look at texts discussing writings and archeological evidence regarding sex and its treatment, among ancient cultures. Its graphic display was in common use from as early as Ancient Egypt (if not Sumer), including ornamentation. Bath houses were the centers of civil affairs throughout the mediterranean. These involved sensual pleasures, including prostitution and it was not just the upper class that could get this (though lower classes had lower class establishments). The graphics on walls in these places make this quite clear.
Indeed I am hard put as to what nations you viewed as being nonhedonist in temperament. Even a large section of Moses's followers were slain for returning to hedonistic practices.
Do you dispute that communities in general have tended to have conservative sexual mores?
Before the rise of monotheism in the west, yes I dispute that claim. In the East, generally yes I dispute that claim. Once monotheism rose to power using a sexually negative philosophy (arguably shaped by Paul) it is true that communities had more conservative mores than today, but the practices (and tolerances) tended to be greater than today. As much as prostitution was blasted against, it existed at all levels of society throughout the dark and middle ages. And generally it was more open than anything we have today in the US (as far as prostitution goes). While you seem to think mores are more important than practices, I don't agree at all. Again a reason I am agreable to disagree, as long as this difference (between what people said and did) is recognized.
I definitely agree that homosexuality and public sexual displays or writing were more tightly controlled and looked down upon throughout the monotheistic societies, until more recently.
Who are these 1700s libertines may I ask? Located where? It sounds to me like a small group who probably considered themselves an elite, which fits in fine with what I have been saying.
The libertines were widespread, but I am certainly willing to admit they were a general minority and somewhat of an "elite" in the sense that they were educated and so had money for education which was only available to the wealthy. Unfortunately for your point regarding this, they actively engaged in their debauches with commoners. What they did was free up intellectual expression so that common practices were revealed. In other words they exposed the hypocritical gulf between the mores and the actual practices of the times.
Of course they then argued for greater acceptance and widening of borders, but that is besides the point. The fact is they revealed a world more open than the one today in practices.
We are talking about how young people hear things, not doctors.
That is true, but how does that address my point? Is it that the reason doctors were not effected by clinical knowledge is because of previous moral teachings? Well why is that not the case for kids? If you know your kid is going to have a sex ed course, then explain your moral stance on it, before and after. Ministers and priests may do the same thing in churches.
I haven't developed my thoughts along these lines beyond a few statements but I assure you that I am strongly convinced of what I'm saying.
Okay, here's my problem. You say you have not developed your thoughts along these lines, yet are convinced about your position. When I create a counterargument, your response is that you have not developed your thoughts yet, but I am wrong.
This is not worthy of what you are capable of. A lack of introspection does not argue that one should feel any confidence, much less refute someone's counterarguments.
I see you feel that anal sex (or things like it) would not need to be explained, because an ascetic would not engage in it, and its neutral handling would suggest that it is just as valid as a practice the ascete might engage in. I am challenging that notion.
1) An ascetic still benefits from knowledge regarding the world around them, including regarding acts they may not engage in themselves. Unless of course the point of the ascetic is to deny all corporal reality in total. That is not available to the Xian as the creation myth is that God created this world for us to live in and our proper role is to be sexual beings so as to be fruitful and multiply. As such physical realities regarding sexual activity are useful knowledge, even if something one does not engage in personally. It allows one to speak knowledgably to others who do and or might. That is particularly the case as kids may grow into positions where that knowledge may be useful in counsel to others.
2) Neutral discussion of existence of something is merely an acknowledgement of existence. That is not the same as validation. To understand how a gun is used or armies fight battles is NOT the same as advocating violence and warfare. If that was the case then you should be more against the teaching of history and gunsafety to kids than sex, as violence (killing) is an even greater sin. In fact, discussion of other religions should be removed as that is validation of other beliefs.
As I said, facts are morally neutral and so if one views their revelation as endorsing or condemning, that is caused by one's moral vantagepoint and not the revelation. If anything it points to where one should be concerned for one's own child. Not revealing facts, may simply allow a concern to hide away in the darkness, as you will not see what moral understaning they actually have regarding any fact.
3) Closing one's eyes does not make it go away. And in reality a kid can find out about anal sex without any lectures and if all porn on the planet disappeared. That part is on the human body and has pleasurable sensations and may draw sexual attention, despite admonishments.
This may lead to moral failure, and lack of facts will not help them avoid it. Indeed warnings with no factual revelation may create a mystery which is more compelling. That is really not helpful as it is a guide to action without the facts necessary to avoid harm (as much as that can be avoided).
I'm going to finish by making a point from the Bible. Solomon was praised for his wisdom and indeed Ecclesiastes (whether by Solomon or not) was the explanation of wisdom from experience. It did not say I never looked around at the facts, and stared only at a book. Or I shut my ears and so was never tempted. The point was that knowledge and experience granted a wisdom of some sorts, a temperence regarding physical and mental pursuits and an importance of following God's plans.
Whether I agree with his conclusions, the point is the same. It is not that knowledge will lead away from God, but in fact will lead back toward God. If one truly has faith, how can it not? That some people engage in an activity which may lead away from God does not argue you must. That you learn of its existence and the risks within, or factors to minimize risk, further does not constitute and argument you must engage in the activity.
Yeah, someone might engage in that activity and use the information to avoid some physical repercussions. If the activity is futile or profane, the person has not been helped to escape this fact by anything that may be taught clinically, only to avoid problems which could go on to effect others.

holmes {in temp decloak from lurker mode}
"What a fool believes he sees, no wise man has the power to reason away." (D.Bros)

This message is a reply to:
 Message 276 by Faith, posted 05-24-2006 9:33 AM Faith has not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 282 by RickJB, posted 05-26-2006 5:14 AM Silent H has replied

nator
Member (Idle past 2190 days)
Posts: 12961
From: Ann Arbor
Joined: 12-09-2001


Message 279 of 306 (315083)
05-25-2006 8:24 AM


Please, let us come back to the topic
This thread is supposed to be about the success or failure of abstinence-only programs in US schools.
I've allowed myself to drift off topic along with several others.
If anyone wants to discuss sex education in general, please start your own thread.

macaroniandcheese 
Suspended Member (Idle past 3948 days)
Posts: 4258
Joined: 05-24-2004


Message 280 of 306 (315099)
05-25-2006 9:50 AM
Reply to: Message 277 by Silent H
05-25-2006 3:12 AM


Re: misunderstanding
no. you're being argumentative and refusing to pay attention to very simple ideas. you have no interest in being explained to, but rather jumping on my terminology and my personal opinions that i use to describe my position. you have not discussed the actual position except in the first response in which you flat out denied the possibility of it being a reasonable idea. since then you have muddled around with sideline crap. excuse me if i don't have any interest in discussing anything with you since this is your general tendency. not to mention that you probably should know better than to discuss what-ifs of inhibitions of civil rights. you simply won't get a positive response from trying to goad me into suggesting that people be encouraged to follow unjust laws. it's just not friendly.
in college, we have organizations that provide sex-ed sort of stuff. it's not generally in a formal class, though it easily could be formatted that way. they tend to be in residence hall lectures during orientation week or special event lectures and that sort of thing. these lectures talk about the particulars of diseases and protection. they also talk about how to say no if you choose, and how to discuss sex if you choose. they discuss how to avoid date rape and how to respond if it happens. they discuss boundaries and emotions and impact. all i'm suggesting is that we format this to a more formal class setting and add in the medical discussion of how organs work and where hormones come from and then install it at the middle or high school level.
in fact, there was a little booklet involving what i'm describing in the student clinic the last time i went. ashamed to say it was produced by mtv, but it was a very useful little booklet. this website has an e-copy of it. it's really not difficult to discuss how to be emotionally and sexually responsible without discussing right or wrong or law or anything.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 277 by Silent H, posted 05-25-2006 3:12 AM Silent H has replied

Replies to this message:
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nator
Member (Idle past 2190 days)
Posts: 12961
From: Ann Arbor
Joined: 12-09-2001


Message 281 of 306 (315194)
05-25-2006 8:55 PM
Reply to: Message 280 by macaroniandcheese
05-25-2006 9:50 AM


Re: misunderstanding
What she said.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 280 by macaroniandcheese, posted 05-25-2006 9:50 AM macaroniandcheese has not replied

Replies to this message:
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RickJB
Member (Idle past 5010 days)
Posts: 917
From: London, UK
Joined: 04-14-2006


Message 282 of 306 (315239)
05-26-2006 5:14 AM
Reply to: Message 278 by Silent H
05-25-2006 4:48 AM


Re: Attempt at a complete outline of my position
More brevity and less nitpicking would really improve the clarity of your arguments, Holmes.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 278 by Silent H, posted 05-25-2006 4:48 AM Silent H has replied

Replies to this message:
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iano
Member (Idle past 1961 days)
Posts: 6165
From: Co. Wicklow, Ireland.
Joined: 07-27-2005


Message 283 of 306 (315245)
05-26-2006 6:31 AM
Reply to: Message 282 by RickJB
05-26-2006 5:14 AM


Re: Attempt at a complete outline of my position
I disagree. Holmes is responding to Faith and if you trace back you'll that she too is responding in longish posts. How does one fully respond to a long post by means of a short post - without sidestepping issues raised that it?
That's debate for you.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 282 by RickJB, posted 05-26-2006 5:14 AM RickJB has not replied

Silent H
Member (Idle past 5839 days)
Posts: 7405
From: satellite of love
Joined: 12-11-2002


Message 284 of 306 (315725)
05-28-2006 5:53 AM
Reply to: Message 282 by RickJB
05-26-2006 5:14 AM


Re: Attempt at a complete outline of my position
More brevity and less nitpicking would really improve the clarity of your arguments, Holmes.
I admit I would like to improve the clarity and brevity of my writing. That said, I am not sure regarding your particular complaint. If you look at where this originated, it was Faith's large post to me outlining her position. Given the amount of material I could address, I thought I was doing a good job being brief.
Heck, given that we both have received POTMs for our posts, I thought we were doing a good job!
Edited by holmes, : putting the t back into thought

holmes {in temp decloak from lurker mode}
"What a fool believes he sees, no wise man has the power to reason away." (D.Bros)

This message is a reply to:
 Message 282 by RickJB, posted 05-26-2006 5:14 AM RickJB has not replied

Silent H
Member (Idle past 5839 days)
Posts: 7405
From: satellite of love
Joined: 12-11-2002


Message 285 of 306 (315738)
05-28-2006 9:09 AM
Reply to: Message 281 by nator
05-25-2006 8:55 PM


she said what?
What she said.
Well that's just great. Clearly this suggests you understand general sex ed is an issue within THIS thread. As such I am going to reply to you and her here, rather than beginning a whole new thread. And this connection does make sense as you will see...
Abs-only sex ed is a way of teaching about sex which places higher value on cultural (aka mental/spiritual) aspects of why and when to have sex, rather than how sex works. You and brenna have both condemned that method while arguing for a physical sex education (the how) plus cultural aspects... sort of making them equal. I have been arguing against both of your positions, suggesting that phys sex ed (the how) is the only necessary and practical way to deal with sex ed.
While I agree that the why and when is important, unlike phys issues there is no true (or agreed true) answer to issues of why and when. This is why it seems more important to let the family and other social instructors handle this with kids, rather than making it an integral portion of public sex ed programs.
Now here are some relevant questions...
1) IF mental issues, such as WHEN and WHY to have sex, have such deep emotional impact that they must be addressed along WITH physical issues, then why can they not to be thought so important as to OVERRIDE discussing physical issues?
2) You have shown that education geared toward helping kids say no does not have that effect, and may also have the opposite effect. If that is true, why is anyone to believe that teaching kids how to say "no" under your paradigm is going to have any better effect? If it is based on the method of instruction, then isn't Faith correct in her assessment that better Abs-only programs could be devised?
3) Why are the positive effects seen in nonAbs only programs which rely on phys ed, not arguments for the sufficiency of phys sex ed programs?
4) I have been explaining at length how a phys only ed program would not conflict with moral instruction from more ascetic communities (including fundamentalists). Please explain how the course you and brenna suggest will NOT conflict with the moral instruction Faith would want for her children? Don't parents have a right not to have education contrary to their moral position?
5) How would your course deal with contentious social issues such as homosexuality, pornography, youth-sex, promiscuity, prostitution in the confines of when and why? That is to say while you both promise it will give kids tools to evaluate what is right for them, what tools will those be, and is everything open for them to say "yes" to as well as "no"?
6) If you argue that sex ed must include social considerations, then how will you make sure it is the values you want taught (for example the ones outlined by brenna existing at a college dorm) rather than the ones that the majority of a community might want?
7) How do you prevent indoctrination of children with specific mores (even if they don't always follow them) from such programs?
8) What teachers are qualified to deliver the tools you are talking about? How will this be ensured? Indeed please give an example of any humans you know to have these tools and enact them?
Bonus questions based on schraf's "agreement" with brenna...
9) You just agreed with brenna, yet brenna has stated upthread that she believes (apparently from this educational lecture she just touted) that manipulative sex is rape. Do you agree with the assessment that someone saying "if you love me you'll have sex with me" is rape? Is that what kids should come away believing?
10) Brenna also said that manipulative sex IS a sexually transmitted disease like AIDs. Do you believe that that is an accurate assessment and something kids should come away from an ideal sex ed course believing?
11) If you disagree with brenna on these points then does it not support my contention that this additional subject matter is not necessarily helpful and opens the door to problems in sex ed, which a purely physical discussion would avoid? If you do agree, what are parents to do if they don't agree with that assessment, and indeed believe that such views are unhealthy?
Thank you.

holmes {in temp decloak from lurker mode}
"What a fool believes he sees, no wise man has the power to reason away." (D.Bros)

This message is a reply to:
 Message 281 by nator, posted 05-25-2006 8:55 PM nator has not replied

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