'She was obviously boning some other bloke and when she got up the duff, she knew she could fool her gullible husband into believing that she saw an angel who told her that she was to have god's child.'
Of course the name of the father of Jesus is given in the Talmud, Pantera, a Roman centurion.
'He did the old water into wine trick'
Is this literal or symbollic?
'and the over done 5 loaves and 2 fish'
It has been suggested that maybe Jesus and his friends started to share out their 5 loaves and 2 fish, and the wealthy in the crowd felt compelled to share out their food too, so technically the feeding of the 5000 was instigated by sharing out 5 loaves and 2 fish.
However, you hit the nail on the head when you say this Jesus thing is a load of tosh, this also means that the stories about him are a load of tosh, and, although I wouldn't agree with your choice of idol, there are an awful lot of people who deserve more respect than Jesus does.
Brian.
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Remembering events that never happened is a dangerous thing!