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Author
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Topic: humor II
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MangyTiger
Member (Idle past 6614 days) Posts: 989 From: Leicester, UK Joined: 07-30-2004
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Message 91 of 310 (337274)
08-01-2006 7:38 PM
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PSEUDO SCIENTIFIC CONSTANTS
01. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
02. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
03. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
04. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
05. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
06. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong
07. 365.25 days of drinking low calorie beer because it's less filling = 1 lite year
08. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
09. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon
10. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
11. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
12. Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line
13. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
14. 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone
15. 1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
16. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle
17. 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds
18. 10 cards = 1 decacards
19. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton
20. 1000 grams of wet socks = 1 literhosen
21. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
22. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
23. 10 rations = 1 decaration
24. 100 rations = 1 C-ration
25. 2 monograms = 1 diagram
26. 8 nickels = 2 paradigms
27. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 I.V. League
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robinrohan
Inactive Member
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Re: The Difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Texans
Texan's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click... (sounds of reloading). I'm offended by this stereotyping.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 90 by MangyTiger, posted 08-01-2006 7:33 PM | | MangyTiger has not replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 93 by jar, posted 08-01-2006 7:55 PM | | robinrohan has not replied | | | Message 94 by iano, posted 08-01-2006 7:58 PM | | robinrohan has not replied |
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jar
Member (Idle past 99 days) Posts: 34140 From: Texas!! Joined: 04-20-2004
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Re: The Difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Texans
Yeah, a REAL Texan uses speed loaders!
Aslan is not a Tame Lion
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 92 by robinrohan, posted 08-01-2006 7:47 PM | | robinrohan has not replied |
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iano
Member (Idle past 2201 days) Posts: 6165 From: Co. Wicklow, Ireland. Joined: 07-27-2005
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Re: The Difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Texans
I visited Dallas once. And only once.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 92 by robinrohan, posted 08-01-2006 7:47 PM | | robinrohan has not replied |
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MangyTiger
Member (Idle past 6614 days) Posts: 989 From: Leicester, UK Joined: 07-30-2004
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Message 95 of 310 (337280)
08-01-2006 7:59 PM
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Reply to: Message 93 by jar
08-01-2006 7:55 PM
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Re: The Difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Texans
 As the advertising campaign they ran over here in 1990 said:
Texas - it's like a country within a country
Oops! Wrong Planet
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 93 by jar, posted 08-01-2006 7:55 PM | | jar has not replied |
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MangyTiger
Member (Idle past 6614 days) Posts: 989 From: Leicester, UK Joined: 07-30-2004
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Message 96 of 310 (337281)
08-01-2006 8:01 PM
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Reply to: Message 94 by iano
08-01-2006 7:58 PM
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Re: The Difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Texans
I visited Dallas once. And only once. That wasn't in December 1963 by any chance was it?
Oops! Wrong Planet
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 94 by iano, posted 08-01-2006 7:58 PM | | iano has replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 98 by iano, posted 08-01-2006 8:09 PM | | MangyTiger has not replied |
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robinrohan
Inactive Member
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Message 97 of 310 (337282)
08-01-2006 8:02 PM
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You better stop offending me.
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iano
Member (Idle past 2201 days) Posts: 6165 From: Co. Wicklow, Ireland. Joined: 07-27-2005
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Re: The Difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Texans
Nah, although I stood in the glass-enclosed spot of 'the shot' and thought to myself "I could have thrown a stone from here and hit him" It was the wheels of the vans people rode around in (which reached higher than the roof of the Ford Escort that I was driving) that did it for me. "This much testosterone can only result in grief"
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 96 by MangyTiger, posted 08-01-2006 8:01 PM | | MangyTiger has not replied |
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berberry
Inactive Member
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Message 99 of 310 (337289)
08-01-2006 8:15 PM
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Robin Williams on Golf
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RAZD
Member (Idle past 1665 days) Posts: 20714 From: the other end of the sidewalk Joined: 03-14-2004
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Re: The Difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Texans
This is really insulting ... ... the wife would have pulled hers out to finish the job. . .. ... ... and no liberal would be caught dead carrying a gun .... (wait a minute ...)
Join the effort to unravel {AIDSHIV} with Team EvC! (click)
we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand
RebelAAmericanOZen[Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 90 by MangyTiger, posted 08-01-2006 7:33 PM | | MangyTiger has not replied |
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iano
Member (Idle past 2201 days) Posts: 6165 From: Co. Wicklow, Ireland. Joined: 07-27-2005
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Message 101 of 310 (337299)
08-01-2006 8:50 PM
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Reply to: Message 99 by berberry
08-01-2006 8:15 PM
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Re: Robin Williams on Golf
As they are wont to say: Thanks for sharing Berberry
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 99 by berberry, posted 08-01-2006 8:15 PM | | berberry has not replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 102 by RAZD, posted 08-02-2006 6:55 AM | | iano has not replied |
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RAZD
Member (Idle past 1665 days) Posts: 20714 From: the other end of the sidewalk Joined: 03-14-2004
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Message 102 of 310 (337347)
08-02-2006 6:55 AM
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Reply to: Message 101 by iano
08-01-2006 8:50 PM
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Re: Robin Williams on Golf
who's been sharing Berberry wontonly
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 101 by iano, posted 08-01-2006 8:50 PM | | iano has not replied |
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Parasomnium
Member Posts: 2228 Joined: 07-15-2003
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Message 103 of 310 (337406)
08-02-2006 2:22 PM
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Reply to: Message 99 by berberry
08-01-2006 8:15 PM
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Re: Robin Williams on Golf
Fuckin' brrilliant!
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 99 by berberry, posted 08-01-2006 8:15 PM | | berberry has not replied |
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RAZD
Member (Idle past 1665 days) Posts: 20714 From: the other end of the sidewalk Joined: 03-14-2004
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Message 104 of 310 (337754)
08-03-2006 3:50 PM
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Self Help Group -- don't we wish ...
Today's Comics Online | Read Comic Strips at GoComics You may have to fill in a bogus age and sex "survey" to access 
Join the effort to unravel {AIDSHIV} with Team EvC! (click)
we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand
RebelAAmericanOZen[Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.
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Percy
Member Posts: 22954 From: New Hampshire Joined: 12-23-2000 Member Rating: 7.1
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Message 105 of 310 (338093)
08-05-2006 11:56 AM
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Four Hilarious Short Videos Found at Google
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™ Version 4.2
