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Author Topic:   humor II
MangyTiger
Member (Idle past 4638 days)
Posts: 989
From: Leicester, UK
Joined: 07-30-2004


Message 91 of 310 (337274)
08-01-2006 7:38 PM


PSEUDO SCIENTIFIC CONSTANTS
01. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
02. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
03. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
04. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
05. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
06. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong
07. 365.25 days of drinking low calorie beer because it's less filling = 1 lite year
08. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
09. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon
10. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
11. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
12. Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line
13. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
14. 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone
15. 1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
16. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle
17. 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds
18. 10 cards = 1 decacards
19. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton
20. 1000 grams of wet socks = 1 literhosen
21. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
22. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
23. 10 rations = 1 decaration
24. 100 rations = 1 C-ration
25. 2 monograms = 1 diagram
26. 8 nickels = 2 paradigms
27. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 I.V. League

  
robinrohan
Inactive Member


Message 92 of 310 (337276)
08-01-2006 7:47 PM
Reply to: Message 90 by MangyTiger
08-01-2006 7:33 PM


Re: The Difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Texans
Texan's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click... (sounds of reloading).

I'm offended by this stereotyping.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 90 by MangyTiger, posted 08-01-2006 7:33 PM MangyTiger has not yet responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 93 by jar, posted 08-01-2006 7:55 PM robinrohan has not yet responded
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jar
Member
Posts: 31462
From: Texas!!
Joined: 04-20-2004
Member Rating: 3.0


Message 93 of 310 (337278)
08-01-2006 7:55 PM
Reply to: Message 92 by robinrohan
08-01-2006 7:47 PM


Re: The Difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Texans
Yeah, a REAL Texan uses speed loaders!


Aslan is not a Tame Lion

This message is a reply to:
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Replies to this message:
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iano
Member (Idle past 225 days)
Posts: 6165
From: Co. Wicklow, Ireland.
Joined: 07-27-2005


Message 94 of 310 (337279)
08-01-2006 7:58 PM
Reply to: Message 92 by robinrohan
08-01-2006 7:47 PM


Re: The Difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Texans
I visited Dallas once. And only once.

This message is a reply to:
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Replies to this message:
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MangyTiger
Member (Idle past 4638 days)
Posts: 989
From: Leicester, UK
Joined: 07-30-2004


Message 95 of 310 (337280)
08-01-2006 7:59 PM
Reply to: Message 93 by jar
08-01-2006 7:55 PM


Re: The Difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Texans
:) :) :)

As the advertising campaign they ran over here in 1990 said:

Texas - it's like a country within a country


Oops! Wrong Planet

This message is a reply to:
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MangyTiger
Member (Idle past 4638 days)
Posts: 989
From: Leicester, UK
Joined: 07-30-2004


Message 96 of 310 (337281)
08-01-2006 8:01 PM
Reply to: Message 94 by iano
08-01-2006 7:58 PM


Re: The Difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Texans
I visited Dallas once. And only once.

That wasn't in December 1963 by any chance was it?


Oops! Wrong Planet

This message is a reply to:
 Message 94 by iano, posted 08-01-2006 7:58 PM iano has responded

Replies to this message:
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robinrohan
Inactive Member


Message 97 of 310 (337282)
08-01-2006 8:02 PM


You better stop offending me.

iano
Member (Idle past 225 days)
Posts: 6165
From: Co. Wicklow, Ireland.
Joined: 07-27-2005


Message 98 of 310 (337286)
08-01-2006 8:09 PM
Reply to: Message 96 by MangyTiger
08-01-2006 8:01 PM


Re: The Difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Texans
Nah, although I stood in the glass-enclosed spot of 'the shot' and thought to myself "I could have thrown a stone from here and hit him"

It was the wheels of the vans people rode around in (which reached higher than the roof of the Ford Escort that I was driving) that did it for me. "This much testosterone can only result in grief"


This message is a reply to:
 Message 96 by MangyTiger, posted 08-01-2006 8:01 PM MangyTiger has not yet responded

berberry
Inactive Member


Message 99 of 310 (337289)
08-01-2006 8:15 PM


Robin Williams on Golf

Replies to this message:
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RAZD
Member
Posts: 20155
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004
Member Rating: 4.0


Message 100 of 310 (337297)
08-01-2006 8:47 PM
Reply to: Message 90 by MangyTiger
08-01-2006 7:33 PM


Re: The Difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Texans
This is really insulting ...

... the wife would have pulled hers out to finish the job.

.

..

...

...

and no liberal would be caught dead carrying a gun ....
(wait a minute ...)


Join the effort to unravel {AIDSHIV} with Team EvC! (click)

we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand

RebelAAmericanOZen[Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.


This message is a reply to:
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iano
Member (Idle past 225 days)
Posts: 6165
From: Co. Wicklow, Ireland.
Joined: 07-27-2005


Message 101 of 310 (337299)
08-01-2006 8:50 PM
Reply to: Message 99 by berberry
08-01-2006 8:15 PM


Re: Robin Williams on Golf
As they are wont to say: Thanks for sharing Berberry

:)


This message is a reply to:
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Replies to this message:
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RAZD
Member
Posts: 20155
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004
Member Rating: 4.0


Message 102 of 310 (337347)
08-02-2006 6:55 AM
Reply to: Message 101 by iano
08-01-2006 8:50 PM


Re: Robin Williams on Golf
who's been sharing Berberry

wontonly


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Parasomnium
Member (Idle past 980 days)
Posts: 2191
Joined: 07-15-2003


Message 103 of 310 (337406)
08-02-2006 2:22 PM
Reply to: Message 99 by berberry
08-01-2006 8:15 PM


Re: Robin Williams on Golf
Fuckin' brrilliant!

This message is a reply to:
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RAZD
Member
Posts: 20155
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004
Member Rating: 4.0


Message 104 of 310 (337754)
08-03-2006 3:50 PM


Self Help Group -- don't we wish ...
http://www.gocomics.com/anntelnaes/2006/08/03/

You may have to fill in a bogus age and sex "survey" to access :rolleyes:


Join the effort to unravel {AIDSHIV} with Team EvC! (click)

we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand

RebelAAmericanOZen[Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.


Percy
Member
Posts: 18870
From: New Hampshire
Joined: 12-23-2000
Member Rating: 2.4


Message 105 of 310 (338093)
08-05-2006 11:56 AM


Four Hilarious Short Videos Found at Google

Replies to this message:
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