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Author Topic:   humor II
MangyTiger
Member (Idle past 4458 days)
Posts: 989
From: Leicester, UK
Joined: 07-30-2004


Message 91 of 310 (337274)
08-01-2006 7:38 PM


PSEUDO SCIENTIFIC CONSTANTS
01. Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter = Eskimo Pi
02. 2000 pounds of Chinese soup = Won ton
03. 1 millionth of a mouthwash = 1 microscope
04. Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement = 1 bananosecond
05. Weight an evangelist carries with God = 1 billigram
06. Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour = Knotfurlong
07. 365.25 days of drinking low calorie beer because it's less filling = 1 lite year
08. 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone = 1 Rod Serling
09. Half of a large intestine = 1 semicolon
10. 1,000,000 aches = 1 megahurtz
11. Basic unit of laryngitis = 1 hoarsepower
12. Shortest distance between two jokes = A straight line
13. 453.6 graham crackers = 1 pound cake
14. 1 million microphones = 1 megaphone
15. 1 million bicycles = 2 megacycles
16. 365.25 days = 1 unicycle
17. 2000 mockingbirds = two kilomockingbirds
18. 10 cards = 1 decacards
19. 1 kilogram of falling figs = 1 Fig Newton
20. 1000 grams of wet socks = 1 literhosen
21. 1 millionth of a fish = 1 microfiche
22. 1 trillion pins = 1 terrapin
23. 10 rations = 1 decaration
24. 100 rations = 1 C-ration
25. 2 monograms = 1 diagram
26. 8 nickels = 2 paradigms
27. 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital = 1 I.V. League
  
robinrohan
Inactive Member


Message 92 of 310 (337276)
08-01-2006 7:47 PM
Reply to: Message 90 by MangyTiger
08-01-2006 7:33 PM


Re: The Difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Texans
Texan's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click... (sounds of reloading).

I'm offended by this stereotyping.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 90 by MangyTiger, posted 08-01-2006 7:33 PM MangyTiger has not yet responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 93 by jar, posted 08-01-2006 7:55 PM robinrohan has not yet responded
 Message 94 by iano, posted 08-01-2006 7:58 PM robinrohan has not yet responded

jar
Member
Posts: 30935
From: Texas!!
Joined: 04-20-2004


Message 93 of 310 (337278)
08-01-2006 7:55 PM
Reply to: Message 92 by robinrohan
08-01-2006 7:47 PM


Re: The Difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Texans
Yeah, a REAL Texan uses speed loaders!


Aslan is not a Tame Lion
This message is a reply to:
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Replies to this message:
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iano
Member (Idle past 46 days)
Posts: 6165
From: Co. Wicklow, Ireland.
Joined: 07-27-2005


Message 94 of 310 (337279)
08-01-2006 7:58 PM
Reply to: Message 92 by robinrohan
08-01-2006 7:47 PM


Re: The Difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Texans
I visited Dallas once. And only once.
This message is a reply to:
 Message 92 by robinrohan, posted 08-01-2006 7:47 PM robinrohan has not yet responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 96 by MangyTiger, posted 08-01-2006 8:01 PM iano has responded

MangyTiger
Member (Idle past 4458 days)
Posts: 989
From: Leicester, UK
Joined: 07-30-2004


Message 95 of 310 (337280)
08-01-2006 7:59 PM
Reply to: Message 93 by jar
08-01-2006 7:55 PM


Re: The Difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Texans
:) :) :)

As the advertising campaign they ran over here in 1990 said:

Texas - it's like a country within a country


Oops! Wrong Planet
This message is a reply to:
 Message 93 by jar, posted 08-01-2006 7:55 PM jar has not yet responded

  
MangyTiger
Member (Idle past 4458 days)
Posts: 989
From: Leicester, UK
Joined: 07-30-2004


Message 96 of 310 (337281)
08-01-2006 8:01 PM
Reply to: Message 94 by iano
08-01-2006 7:58 PM


Re: The Difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Texans
I visited Dallas once. And only once.

That wasn't in December 1963 by any chance was it?


Oops! Wrong Planet
This message is a reply to:
 Message 94 by iano, posted 08-01-2006 7:58 PM iano has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 98 by iano, posted 08-01-2006 8:09 PM MangyTiger has not yet responded

  
robinrohan
Inactive Member


Message 97 of 310 (337282)
08-01-2006 8:02 PM


You better stop offending me.
iano
Member (Idle past 46 days)
Posts: 6165
From: Co. Wicklow, Ireland.
Joined: 07-27-2005


Message 98 of 310 (337286)
08-01-2006 8:09 PM
Reply to: Message 96 by MangyTiger
08-01-2006 8:01 PM


Re: The Difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Texans
Nah, although I stood in the glass-enclosed spot of 'the shot' and thought to myself "I could have thrown a stone from here and hit him"

It was the wheels of the vans people rode around in (which reached higher than the roof of the Ford Escort that I was driving) that did it for me. "This much testosterone can only result in grief"


This message is a reply to:
 Message 96 by MangyTiger, posted 08-01-2006 8:01 PM MangyTiger has not yet responded

berberry
Inactive Member


Message 99 of 310 (337289)
08-01-2006 8:15 PM


Robin Williams on Golf

Replies to this message:
 Message 101 by iano, posted 08-01-2006 8:50 PM berberry has not yet responded
 Message 103 by Parasomnium, posted 08-02-2006 2:22 PM berberry has not yet responded

RAZD
Member
Posts: 19811
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004
Member Rating: 10.0


Message 100 of 310 (337297)
08-01-2006 8:47 PM
Reply to: Message 90 by MangyTiger
08-01-2006 7:33 PM


Re: The Difference between Liberals, Conservatives and Texans
This is really insulting ...

... the wife would have pulled hers out to finish the job.

.

..

...

...

and no liberal would be caught dead carrying a gun ....
(wait a minute ...)


Join the effort to unravel {AIDSHIV} with Team EvC! (click)

we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand

RebelAAmericanOZen[Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 90 by MangyTiger, posted 08-01-2006 7:33 PM MangyTiger has not yet responded

iano
Member (Idle past 46 days)
Posts: 6165
From: Co. Wicklow, Ireland.
Joined: 07-27-2005


Message 101 of 310 (337299)
08-01-2006 8:50 PM
Reply to: Message 99 by berberry
08-01-2006 8:15 PM


Re: Robin Williams on Golf
As they are wont to say: Thanks for sharing Berberry

:)


This message is a reply to:
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Replies to this message:
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RAZD
Member
Posts: 19811
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004
Member Rating: 10.0


Message 102 of 310 (337347)
08-02-2006 6:55 AM
Reply to: Message 101 by iano
08-01-2006 8:50 PM


Re: Robin Williams on Golf
who's been sharing Berberry

wontonly


This message is a reply to:
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Parasomnium
Member (Idle past 801 days)
Posts: 2191
Joined: 07-15-2003


Message 103 of 310 (337406)
08-02-2006 2:22 PM
Reply to: Message 99 by berberry
08-01-2006 8:15 PM


Re: Robin Williams on Golf
Fuckin' brrilliant!
This message is a reply to:
 Message 99 by berberry, posted 08-01-2006 8:15 PM berberry has not yet responded

RAZD
Member
Posts: 19811
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004
Member Rating: 10.0


Message 104 of 310 (337754)
08-03-2006 3:50 PM


Self Help Group -- don't we wish ...
http://www.gocomics.com/anntelnaes/2006/08/03/

You may have to fill in a bogus age and sex "survey" to access :rolleyes:


Join the effort to unravel {AIDSHIV} with Team EvC! (click)

we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand

RebelAAmericanOZen[Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.


Percy
Member
Posts: 18368
From: New Hampshire
Joined: 12-23-2000
Member Rating: 4.9


Message 105 of 310 (338093)
08-05-2006 11:56 AM


Four Hilarious Short Videos Found at Google
Girl Caught Cheating
Frog Boys
Hippo and Dog do Lion Sleeps Tonight
Barbie Girl Hyperfast Remix

Here's the orginal version of that last one, it's pretty good, too:

Barbie Girl Original Version

--Percy


Replies to this message:
 Message 109 by alacrity fitzhugh, posted 08-05-2006 7:46 PM Percy has not yet responded

  
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