George Bush eats another pretzel, chokes, and dies.
He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You're on my list but you're early and I have no room for you right now. You definitely belong here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got 3 people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, and you can take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves.
George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.
The devil opened the first room. In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. He kept resurfacing over and over and over, gasping for air. Such was his fate in hell. "No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and don't think I could do that all day long."
The devil led him to the next room.
In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time, and more rocks appeared. "No! I've got this problem with my shoulder, would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented George.
The devil opened a third door.
In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in a spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
"The devil smiled and said... "Okay Monica, you're free to go"
Yesterday I posted a video by Iron Maiden in the music thread and no one said anything about it so this may fall on deaf ears. But if there are any other IM fans on here, you might get a kick out of these wallpapers featuring IM album covers and posters which have been reworked to feature SpongeBob in the stead of IM's infamous mascot Eddie. Here's a sample:
The Mullah Nasrudin was on his roof fixing a hole when a stranger came to his door and knocked. The Mullah called down:"Yes what do you want?"
The stranger said..."come down here I need to talk to you." So Nasrudin climb all the way down the ladder and asked the stranger, "What do you want?" The stranger said..."Can I borrow some money?"
With this the Mullah climbed back up the ladder and began nailing a shingle, then man said.."Well?" Nasrudin said.."come up here a moment." So the stranger climbed all the way up the roof top. And Nasrudin said. "No",
George Bush's advisors are briefing him about the situations in Iraq, as usual. At the end of the briefing, Rumsfeld says, "By the way, 3 Brazilian soldiers died earlier today."
With that, Bush begins to panic and says repeatedly and frantically, "oh my god, oh my god, oh my god..." He then burries his face in his hands as his advisors look at each other wondering about the unusual behavior. Finally, Bush looks up and asks, "how many is a brazillion?"