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Author Topic:   humor II
Modulous
Member (Idle past 386 days)
Posts: 7789
From: Manchester, UK
Joined: 05-01-2005


Message 151 of 310 (352438)
09-26-2006 5:04 PM
Reply to: Message 150 by Taz
09-26-2006 4:34 PM


Isn't the world queer?
interesting, you almost suceeded in posting this joke exactly 1 year to the day from when I first heard it - if only you'd posted a few days earlier and it'd have been an outstanding coincidence.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 150 by Taz, posted 09-26-2006 4:34 PM Taz has not yet responded

Coragyps
Member
Posts: 5399
From: Snyder, Texas, USA
Joined: 11-12-2002


Message 152 of 310 (353658)
10-02-2006 3:02 PM


current events

  
Dr Adequate
Member
Posts: 16107
Joined: 07-20-2006
Member Rating: 8.0


Message 153 of 310 (353665)
10-02-2006 3:23 PM


Professor Billy Wilbanks Breaks The Stupidity Barrier
Here

I have checked, and this is not a spoof newspaper like The Onion, and the college really exists. Worse, it's accredited.

“I teach that the universe was created in six literal days. We believe that the Genesis account refers to literal 24-hour periods. You wouldn’t have the words morning and evening if it was referring to an indefinite time period,” said Professor Billy Wilbanks, chair of the Science Department at Jacksonville College. “People accept either theory just by their beliefs and what they have been taught — we really can’t prove either one.”

According to Wilbanks, there are just too many holes in the theory of evolution for him to believe it is true.

“At the time of the Big Bang, evolutionists believe there was all this matter out there, where did that matter come from? At the time of the Big Bang, how did the Earth end up getting all of the water and the air and the life-forms? Everything from as simple as bacteria to as complicated as people — no life-forms have ever been found anywhere else,” Wilbanks said. “We hear that all life-forms are progressing from one life-form to another, but yet in the world we do not have any life-forms that are between forms. The fossil record has never shown anything to be in a transition state, going from this form to that form.”

Wilbanks thinks that scientists often get caught up in thinking that everything in the world has some type of explanation and that everything can be explained, but he believes that the world shows this assumption to be untrue.

“There’s a lot of questions right now that I can’t answer. What holds the clouds up? If we throw a whole bucket of water in the air, the whole bucket is going to come right back down, but when it rains, all these little raindrops fall,” Wilbanks said. “There are still many unanswered things out there. Cell differentiation in human reproduction is something we don’t understand. Back when we are just a small cluster of cells, how do some of our cells know to become blood, brains, muscles, bones or something else. We don’t have an answer for that.”

Wilbanks believes, and Jacksonville College teaches, that the universe is just too complicated to be a random result of chance.

“When you consider all of the ‘random’ events that have taken place for our benefit; the element we need more than anything else is oxygen — that’s what we’ve got the most of. The compound we need the most is water — that’s what we’ve got the most of. Trees give us oxygen, and we give them carbon dioxide. The odds of any of those taking place is incredibly low, and when you add them all on top of each other, it just makes it all the less likely still,” Wilbanks said.

You couldn't make it up.


Replies to this message:
 Message 154 by Coragyps, posted 10-02-2006 3:43 PM Dr Adequate has not yet responded

Coragyps
Member
Posts: 5399
From: Snyder, Texas, USA
Joined: 11-12-2002


Message 154 of 310 (353668)
10-02-2006 3:43 PM
Reply to: Message 153 by Dr Adequate
10-02-2006 3:23 PM


Re: Professor Billy Wilbanks Breaks The Stupidity Barrier
Yup! Makes me jes'....er...well, proud ain't quite the word....to live here in Texas....embarrassed, mebbe...

This message is a reply to:
 Message 153 by Dr Adequate, posted 10-02-2006 3:23 PM Dr Adequate has not yet responded

  
kuresu
Member (Idle past 795 days)
Posts: 2544
From: boulder, colorado
Joined: 03-24-2006


Message 155 of 310 (353689)
10-02-2006 4:35 PM


what do you do "when nature calls"?
you use the toilet, inherrently inside of a building.

anyone else find this highly ironic? that we escape nature to relieve ourselves when nature calls?


Want to help give back to the world community? Did you know that your computer can help? Join the newest TeamEvC Climate Modelling to help improve climate predictions for a better tomorrow.

  
berberry
Inactive Member


Message 156 of 310 (353897)
10-03-2006 12:13 PM


Foley's Fanfaronade
I've started a slightly more serious thread about this scandal here, but if you haven't seen Jon Stewart's opening segment from last night yet, please do. It's the funniest thing I've seen on the subject:


W.W.E.D.?

nyenye
Inactive Member


Message 157 of 310 (354354)
10-05-2006 8:48 AM


haha
Here is a joke... ( blonde joke ) X.x
There are three blondes all walking through the woods, they come acrossed some tracks. The first blonde says...
" These are fox tracks!"
Second blonde says
" No they are too big to be fox tracks, they are coyote tracks!"
Third blonde says
" NO YOU'RE ALL WRONG THEY ARE WOLF TRACKS!"

And they are all fighting when the train hits them.


Beatle Addict
Junior Member (Idle past 3823 days)
Posts: 13
From: Big Spring, TX, USA
Joined: 06-04-2006


Message 158 of 310 (354534)
10-05-2006 5:57 PM


Thriller + India = ....

Lovely dance moves....


Replies to this message:
 Message 159 by Coragyps, posted 10-05-2006 6:49 PM Beatle Addict has not yet responded
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Coragyps
Member
Posts: 5399
From: Snyder, Texas, USA
Joined: 11-12-2002


Message 159 of 310 (354550)
10-05-2006 6:49 PM
Reply to: Message 158 by Beatle Addict
10-05-2006 5:57 PM


Re: Thriller + India = ....
That's absolutely bizarre, BA. I worry that you've been here in West Texas too long.....

This message is a reply to:
 Message 158 by Beatle Addict, posted 10-05-2006 5:57 PM Beatle Addict has not yet responded

  
nyenye
Inactive Member


Message 160 of 310 (354601)
10-05-2006 9:47 PM
Reply to: Message 158 by Beatle Addict
10-05-2006 5:57 PM


Re: Thriller + India = ....
That is the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen LOL

This message is a reply to:
 Message 158 by Beatle Addict, posted 10-05-2006 5:57 PM Beatle Addict has not yet responded

Omnivorous
Member (Idle past 1249 days)
Posts: 3808
From: Adirondackia
Joined: 07-21-2005


Message 161 of 310 (354603)
10-05-2006 9:51 PM
Reply to: Message 158 by Beatle Addict
10-05-2006 5:57 PM


Re: Thriller + India = ....
It's The Thrilla in Calcutta! I love it! And the red suit, uh...vinyl? Rubber? Too loose for Spandex (great title for a novel)...

This message is a reply to:
 Message 158 by Beatle Addict, posted 10-05-2006 5:57 PM Beatle Addict has not yet responded

  
Dr Adequate
Member
Posts: 16107
Joined: 07-20-2006
Member Rating: 8.0


Message 162 of 310 (355333)
10-09-2006 5:42 AM


Things Evolutionists Can't Explain
The False Dichotomy --- Not So Much A Fallacy, More A Way Of Life : Oh, the evidence concerning the truth of the Bible exists. It is all around us. You can easily spotted in the many facts which evolutionists can't explain.

Giraffes Not Dead, Scientists Puzzled : Why is it that evolutionists can't explain the unusual tongue of the European Green Woodpecker? And then there's the giraffe, which should die every time it bends down to get a drink of water, but still lives to drink another day.

He's Got Us There : Evolution doesn't explain where the different species came from ... And also, if evolution was a fact, and true... a person wouldn't need to be a PHD in biology to have it explained to them...

Can't Do Joined-Up Reasoning : Supposedly life evolved from non-living matter, to living matter, to one-celled creatures, to fish, to amphibians, to reptiles, and finally to mammals; so evolutionists can't explain the origin of whales or dolphins (mammals that live in the sea).

Probably Not The Clearest Of Thinkers : Sorry my reply is so long. In the end I fail to see why Intelligent Design is considered pseudo-science. We are currently modifying creatures both plant and animal in ways that evolution can't explain. How could evolution explain genes from Jellyfish ending up in mice? Man created this intelligently designed creature and not evolution.

James Melton, Angry Idiot : Mammoths have been found frozen, preserved perfectly in ice in Northern Siberia and Alaska. Many of these are very large and strong animals, which evolutionists claim should have survived and overcame any obstacles. BUT THEY DIDN'T! What happened? Why did they die out? How can evolution explain this? Evolution CAN'T explain it. Evolution IGNORES it.

Another Careless Omission From The Origin Of Species : So saying Evolution is based on logic is quite strongly misguided.. and as we've come so far, evolution doesn't explain the big bang...

"This page is dedicated to those coincidences that evolution can't explain." : Note: I get a lot of letters from evolutionist who do not know what the evolution debate is about. When I say evolution is false, I am referring to Darwinian evolution ... Did you know that all planets in our universe are on the exact same plane with the exception on Pluto. If one single planet's orbit were to across another planet's orbit, the entire planetary system would collapse due to the collisions. How by chance did all the planets end up on the same plane and rotating in their own orbit without crossing another planet's orbit? Pluto is the only exception. Pluto is at a 14 degree angle from the plane. Why? Because Pluto crosses 2 other orbits. If it had been on the same plane it would be on a collision course. Pluto is the signature of the Creator to prove the impossibility of chance.

An Update On What Scientists Believe : Evolution can't explain many things. For example, species don't evolve into other species. Scientists now no longer believe that man evolved from apes or other primates.

Where Do They Get This Stuff From Anyway? : The theory of evolution does not and cannot explain so much about the universe that we know. For instance, when and how did water evolve? How does it happen that gravity can hold us to the Earth, and at the same time allow us to step up without any trouble? How did it happen that the Earth is spinning at the exact rate that keeps us from feeling that movement?

Creationism --- Now With Even More Pseudohistory! : In museums around the world are ancient Chinese maps, many of them maps of the entire world, even detailing the continent of North America, yet charted thousands of years before Columbus. Evolutionists have no explanation for any of this.

When All Else Fails, Lie : Evolution doesn't explain what kinds of species lie between fish and amphibians, amphibians and reptiles, reptiles and birds, birds and mammals, or mammals and autonomous human beings.

Anne Coulter Doesn't Understand Creationism Either : It [the theory of evolution] doesn't explain why we don't find any bad mutations -- a dog that mutated antennae, or gills, or a tail on its head.

"EVOLUTION - the biggest cover-up since ROSWELL" : A problem evolutionists can't explain is symbiosis. When it comes to symbiosis (def. an interaction between two different organisms living in close physical association, usually to the advantage of both parties.) evolutionists go quiet because they can not explain why in the fossil records insects appear at the same time as flowers, which needed them for pollination. such flowers could not propagate even for one season if the insects were not there. The flowers would have died without the insects.

Apathy Rife Amongst Scientists: A Moron Writes : I know that evolution doesn't explain eyes and wings for example, and doesn't even try.

If He Remembers Correctly : If I remember correctly; evolution normally starts in some primordial soup with a creature of some kind crawling from the ocean onto dry land. Evolution doesn't explain where either the soup or the land evolved from.

Creationism --- Still Lagging Behind The Thirteenth Century : Where do you think the rainbow came from? There is no scientific explanation.


Replies to this message:
 Message 163 by Taz, posted 10-09-2006 12:56 PM Dr Adequate has not yet responded
 Message 181 by Archer Opteryx, posted 10-21-2006 2:29 PM Dr Adequate has not yet responded

Taz
Member (Idle past 1573 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 163 of 310 (355384)
10-09-2006 12:56 PM
Reply to: Message 162 by Dr Adequate
10-09-2006 5:42 AM


Re: Things Evolutionists Can't Explain
Are these for real or are they spoofs?

This message is a reply to:
 Message 162 by Dr Adequate, posted 10-09-2006 5:42 AM Dr Adequate has not yet responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 164 by Coragyps, posted 10-09-2006 1:05 PM Taz has responded

Coragyps
Member
Posts: 5399
From: Snyder, Texas, USA
Joined: 11-12-2002


Message 164 of 310 (355388)
10-09-2006 1:05 PM
Reply to: Message 163 by Taz
10-09-2006 12:56 PM


Re: Things Evolutionists Can't Explain
Real.

Sorry.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 163 by Taz, posted 10-09-2006 12:56 PM Taz has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 165 by Taz, posted 10-09-2006 1:13 PM Coragyps has not yet responded

  
Taz
Member (Idle past 1573 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 165 of 310 (355393)
10-09-2006 1:13 PM
Reply to: Message 164 by Coragyps
10-09-2006 1:05 PM


Re: Things Evolutionists Can't Explain
The rainbow one kinda made me doubt the apparent stupidity... but I guess I've been overestimating mankind.

On a different note, a quick google search popped up Fundies Say the Darnest Things website.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 164 by Coragyps, posted 10-09-2006 1:05 PM Coragyps has not yet responded

Replies to this message:
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