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Author Topic:   Why do you love?
U can call me Cookie
Member (Idle past 3118 days)
Posts: 228
From: jo'burg, RSA
Joined: 11-15-2005


Message 31 of 39 (362067)
11-06-2006 2:22 AM
Reply to: Message 8 by 2ice_baked_taters
11-04-2006 12:48 PM


U know, there was a time when i think i also thought that Love was a choice to be made...
Then i actually fell in love, and when i needed to fall out of love i just couldn't, no matter how much i chose to.

I do see where you're coming from though, and i believe it could be true, although just not universal.

It is only possible to love two people at the same time by intention.

This, i think, is a corollary of your earlier belief that love is a choice.
Here i cannot yet agree. While i may not have experienced this, i've seen it, sometimes in those closest to me.
What causes it? I don't know... indecisiveness, fear, chemical imbalance? Maybe it just is...

This might not be true for everyone...but from what i've seen:
You can't can't help, who you love.


"The good Christian should beware the mathematician and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that the mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and to confine man in the bonds of hell." - St. Augustine
This message is a reply to:
 Message 8 by 2ice_baked_taters, posted 11-04-2006 12:48 PM 2ice_baked_taters has responded

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U can call me Cookie
Member (Idle past 3118 days)
Posts: 228
From: jo'burg, RSA
Joined: 11-15-2005


Message 32 of 39 (362068)
11-06-2006 2:27 AM
Reply to: Message 18 by Faith
11-04-2006 9:54 PM


Reciprocity.
Could be regarded as rather unfortunate...

For if it is true, then the unrequited have never loved.


"The good Christian should beware the mathematician and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that the mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and to confine man in the bonds of hell." - St. Augustine
This message is a reply to:
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U can call me Cookie
Member (Idle past 3118 days)
Posts: 228
From: jo'burg, RSA
Joined: 11-15-2005


Message 33 of 39 (362069)
11-06-2006 2:33 AM
Reply to: Message 29 by ringo
11-05-2006 3:29 PM


Re: love and loss
May it be that you commemorated this anniversary adequately, Ringo.
The loss of love, in whatever form, is a bitter pill to swallow.

quote:
Into the darkness they go, the wise and the lovely.

Ironically, she loved the darkness.

Sometimes, the darkness is more comforting than the light.


"The good Christian should beware the mathematician and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that the mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and to confine man in the bonds of hell." - St. Augustine
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 Message 34 by Archer Opteryx, posted 11-06-2006 3:42 AM U can call me Cookie has responded

  
Archer Opteryx
Member (Idle past 1763 days)
Posts: 1811
From: East Asia
Joined: 08-16-2006


Message 34 of 39 (362072)
11-06-2006 3:42 AM
Reply to: Message 33 by U can call me Cookie
11-06-2006 2:33 AM


Re: love and loss
The loss of love, in whatever form, is a bitter pill to swallow.

One loses the person. One never loses the love.

___

Edited by Archer Opterix, : HTML.


Archer

All species are transitional.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 33 by U can call me Cookie, posted 11-06-2006 2:33 AM U can call me Cookie has responded

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Archer Opteryx
Member (Idle past 1763 days)
Posts: 1811
From: East Asia
Joined: 08-16-2006


Message 35 of 39 (362074)
11-06-2006 3:53 AM
Reply to: Message 30 by U can call me Cookie
11-06-2006 2:05 AM


Re: Retro
Errr....thanks, i think

Sorry. Lost my mind, just for a moment. :D

You know you're feeling something, U. You experience something powerful, elemental, and real.

Whatever ambiguities this presents, you know for sure you are alive.

In that, there is reason enough for joy.

___

Edited by Archer Opterix, : Clarity.


Archer

All species are transitional.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 30 by U can call me Cookie, posted 11-06-2006 2:05 AM U can call me Cookie has not yet responded

  
U can call me Cookie
Member (Idle past 3118 days)
Posts: 228
From: jo'burg, RSA
Joined: 11-15-2005


Message 36 of 39 (362075)
11-06-2006 3:55 AM
Reply to: Message 34 by Archer Opteryx
11-06-2006 3:42 AM


Re: love and loss
You're right, Archer. Thanks.


"The good Christian should beware the mathematician and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that the mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and to confine man in the bonds of hell." - St. Augustine
This message is a reply to:
 Message 34 by Archer Opteryx, posted 11-06-2006 3:42 AM Archer Opteryx has not yet responded

  
2ice_baked_taters
Member (Idle past 4016 days)
Posts: 566
From: Boulder Junction WI.
Joined: 02-16-2006


Message 37 of 39 (362137)
11-06-2006 11:44 AM
Reply to: Message 29 by ringo
11-05-2006 3:29 PM


Re: love and loss
I am with you. My mother passed from cancer. Dec. 3rd 2 years ago. I watched that light in her eyes go out. Not sure how I would handle the passing of my significant other.
This message is a reply to:
 Message 29 by ringo, posted 11-05-2006 3:29 PM ringo has responded

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ringo
Member
Posts: 16634
From: frozen wasteland
Joined: 03-23-2005
Member Rating: 2.9


Message 38 of 39 (362160)
11-06-2006 1:19 PM
Reply to: Message 37 by 2ice_baked_taters
11-06-2006 11:44 AM


Re: love and loss
2ice_baked_taters writes:

Not sure how I would handle the passing of my significant other.

You never know until it happens. Everybody grieves in their own way and every grief is different too.

But this thread is supposed to be about the love, not the loss. :) As Archer said, if you love somebody they're never really gone. I guess that's one way to recognize real love.

If I have to answer the question, "Why do you love?" I'd have to say, "How could I not love her?"


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This message is a reply to:
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2ice_baked_taters
Member (Idle past 4016 days)
Posts: 566
From: Boulder Junction WI.
Joined: 02-16-2006


Message 39 of 39 (362166)
11-06-2006 1:31 PM
Reply to: Message 31 by U can call me Cookie
11-06-2006 2:22 AM


U know, there was a time when i think i also thought that Love was a choice to be made...

Falling in love by some mystical random happening is a falicy. People are drawn to particular looks and particular personality charicteristics. They will settle for this but will not settle for that. It is all by choice. One must choose to open ones self to another. The love is inside. We allow it to happen.

Then i actually fell in love, and when i needed to fall out of love i just couldn't, no matter how much i chose to.

I have seen potential to open my heart before. I have acted upon it 2 previous times. They were not wise choices. I closed the door quickly after. It had nothing to do with them. They were who they were. The poor choice was mine and no one elses. They were not for me. I learned a great deal from those two short episodes. Honesty to ones self. That is most important. I learned what I want. I want what I saw in my parents eyes for a lifetime. I still love these people for the qualities that drew me to them but being honest with myself I understoood that there were issues I could not live with. The love I felt did not change that. I have known the third venture of my heart for 5 years now. We have dated for the last 2. I know that being married to her will be a joy. She has that sparkle in her eye I understand the humbling power of. I will only be married once excluding death.

Anyone can choose to love. Love all alone is quite pointless. Many play at love which renders love trivial. Being in love is nothing special until it becomes what I have spoke of. Even then, the feather that moves mountains can be crushed by dishonesty to ones self.
There are no bad x's, only bad choices brought about by not being honest with ones self. Choose to love wisely. Mountains can be moved or feathers can be crushed....it is your choice...and of course...anothers ;) Good luck :)


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