Me? I don't know why you'd think I was nervous. Personally, I don't really care whether natural selection is or is not the driving mechanism of evolution.
What does interest me is the lack of logic in your claims. You seem to think that your own inability to understand natural selection is "proof" against it. What is more, I note that you have been unable to give any positive evidence of any other mechanism. You have mention "spirit forces", but have given no evidence that such "spirit forces" exist beyond an assertion that natural selection must be wrong.
Until you can give some sort of positive evidence in favor of your preferred hypothesis, your hypothesis will remain nuts.