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Author Topic:   Humor III
jar
Member
Posts: 30935
From: Texas!!
Joined: 04-20-2004


Message 151 of 301 (36137)
04-02-2003 7:22 PM
Reply to: Message 150 by bob_gray
07-27-2007 10:15 PM


Re: Taylor Mali on what teachers make
bump
This message is a reply to:
 Message 150 by bob_gray, posted 07-27-2007 10:15 PM bob_gray has acknowledged this reply

Admin
Director
Posts: 12590
From: EvC Forum
Joined: 06-14-2002
Member Rating: 3.6


Message 152 of 301 (413166)
07-29-2007 3:04 PM


Bringing this thread back to the present...
Enjoy!


--Percy
EvC Forum Director

  
Taz
Member (Idle past 1400 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 153 of 301 (414116)
08-02-2007 7:59 PM


A farmer had a car accident. In court, the trucking company's lawyer was questioning Clyde.

"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident 'I'm fine'?", asked the lawyer?

The farmer responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the..."

"I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"

The farmer said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road...."

The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in the farmer's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie."

The farmer thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting, real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident, a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun in hand, looked at me, and said 'How are you feeling?' Now, what the hell would you have said?"


Disclaimer:

Occasionally, owing to the deficiency of the English language, I have used he/him/his meaning he or she/him or her/his or her in order to avoid awkwardness of style.

He, him, and his are not intended as exclusively masculine pronouns. They may refer to either sex or to both sexes!


Jaderis
Member (Idle past 1534 days)
Posts: 622
From: NY,NY
Joined: 06-16-2006


Message 154 of 301 (416129)
08-14-2007 3:44 AM


Lewis Black on creationism

Of course, his statement that Christians believe in a 7 day creation is obviously untrue and therefore his whole routine is bunk.;)


"You are metaphysicians. You can prove anything by metaphysics; and having done so, every metaphysician can prove every other metaphysician wrong--to his own satisfaction. You are anarchists in the realm of thought. And you are mad cosmos-makers. Each of you dwells in a cosmos of his own making, created out of his own fancies and desires. You do not know the real world in which you live, and your thinking has no place in the real world except in so far as it is phenomena of mental aberration." -The Iron Heel by Jack London
Replies to this message:
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Doddy
Member (Idle past 4018 days)
Posts: 563
From: Brisbane, Australia
Joined: 01-04-2007


Message 155 of 301 (416132)
08-14-2007 5:16 AM
Reply to: Message 154 by Jaderis
08-14-2007 3:44 AM


Re: Lewis Black on creationism
FOSSIL!

*throws fossil*

(I really want a pocket 'Made by Satan' fossil)

Edited by Doddy, : clarify joke


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This message is a reply to:
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Replies to this message:
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Jaderis
Member (Idle past 1534 days)
Posts: 622
From: NY,NY
Joined: 06-16-2006


Message 156 of 301 (416141)
08-14-2007 6:25 AM
Reply to: Message 155 by Doddy
08-14-2007 5:16 AM


Re: Lewis Black on creationism
FOSSIL!
*throws fossil*

(I really want a pocket 'Made by Satan' fossil)

Yea, maybe it'll cut into the market for biblical action figures.

I think the website name speaks for itself...


This message is a reply to:
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Replies to this message:
 Message 157 by Doddy, posted 08-14-2007 7:33 AM Jaderis has responded
 Message 159 by ringo, posted 08-14-2007 10:15 AM Jaderis has not yet responded
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Doddy
Member (Idle past 4018 days)
Posts: 563
From: Brisbane, Australia
Joined: 01-04-2007


Message 157 of 301 (416153)
08-14-2007 7:33 AM
Reply to: Message 156 by Jaderis
08-14-2007 6:25 AM


Re: Lewis Black on creationism
So funny they offer both black and white versions. Why no Asian versions? Discrimination! ROFL!


Help to inform the public - contribute to the EvoWiki today!

We seek contributors with a knowledge of Intelligent design to expand and review our page on this topic.

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This message is a reply to:
 Message 156 by Jaderis, posted 08-14-2007 6:25 AM Jaderis has responded

Replies to this message:
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Jaderis
Member (Idle past 1534 days)
Posts: 622
From: NY,NY
Joined: 06-16-2006


Message 158 of 301 (416158)
08-14-2007 8:11 AM
Reply to: Message 157 by Doddy
08-14-2007 7:33 AM


Re: Lewis Black on creationism
So funny they offer both black and white versions. Why no Asian versions? Discrimination! ROFL!

Doubly funny because it seems to me that they don't even know what skin color Jesus had and they have to (inadequately) relate to a certain race in order to get their message across. I thought that the message was supposed to be universal or something. Silly me.


"You are metaphysicians. You can prove anything by metaphysics; and having done so, every metaphysician can prove every other metaphysician wrong--to his own satisfaction. You are anarchists in the realm of thought. And you are mad cosmos-makers. Each of you dwells in a cosmos of his own making, created out of his own fancies and desires. You do not know the real world in which you live, and your thinking has no place in the real world except in so far as it is phenomena of mental aberration." -The Iron Heel by Jack London
This message is a reply to:
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ringo
Member
Posts: 16357
From: frozen wasteland
Joined: 03-23-2005
Member Rating: 3.6


Message 159 of 301 (416172)
08-14-2007 10:15 AM
Reply to: Message 156 by Jaderis
08-14-2007 6:25 AM


Re: Lewis Black on creationism
Jaderis writes:

Yea, maybe it'll cut into the market for biblical action figures.

The real money is in the accessories. Does Jesus come with pontoons?


“Faith moves mountains, but only knowledge moves them to the right place” -- Joseph Goebbels
-------------
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This message is a reply to:
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Replies to this message:
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kuresu
Member (Idle past 622 days)
Posts: 2544
From: boulder, colorado
Joined: 03-24-2006


Message 160 of 301 (416173)
08-14-2007 10:19 AM
Reply to: Message 159 by ringo
08-14-2007 10:15 AM


Re: Lewis Black on creationism
Why?
He can walk on water to begin with, right?

The question I'd be asking? Can the action figure make wine?

Granted, the wine would probably be shabby. That stuff is supposed to age, right*?

*Forget what I said. He's Jesus. He can do anything, duh! So bringing into the world aged wine is no problem.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 159 by ringo, posted 08-14-2007 10:15 AM ringo has responded

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ringo
Member
Posts: 16357
From: frozen wasteland
Joined: 03-23-2005
Member Rating: 3.6


Message 161 of 301 (416194)
08-14-2007 2:10 PM
Reply to: Message 160 by kuresu
08-14-2007 10:19 AM


Re: Lewis Black on creationism
kuresu writes:

He can walk on water to begin with, right?

Well, we're talking about the action figure, not the real Jesus. :p

Think of the possibilities:

- walk-on-water pontoons
- water-to-wine kit, red or white (non-toxic)
- draw-your-own stigmata (washable ink)
- feed-the-five-thousand lunch box
- high-impact plastic cross with velcro closures for thousands of crucifixions


“Faith moves mountains, but only knowledge moves them to the right place” -- Joseph Goebbels
-------------
Help scientific research in your spare time. No cost. No obligation.
Join the World Community Grid with Team EvC
This message is a reply to:
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Doddy
Member (Idle past 4018 days)
Posts: 563
From: Brisbane, Australia
Joined: 01-04-2007


Message 162 of 301 (416246)
08-14-2007 10:16 PM
Reply to: Message 159 by ringo
08-14-2007 10:15 AM


Re: Lewis Black on creationism
Speaking of accessories, are the clothes of Adam and Eve removable? Or do those figures only come in 'knowing good and evil' form?


Help to inform the public - contribute to the EvoWiki today!

We seek contributors with a knowledge of Intelligent design to expand and review our page on this topic.

Registration not needed for editing most pages (the ID page is an exception), but you can register here!


This message is a reply to:
 Message 159 by ringo, posted 08-14-2007 10:15 AM ringo has responded

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Nighttrain
Member (Idle past 2102 days)
Posts: 1512
From: brisbane,australia
Joined: 06-08-2004


Message 163 of 301 (416253)
08-14-2007 10:43 PM
Reply to: Message 161 by ringo
08-14-2007 2:10 PM


Re: Lewis Black on creationism
I hope the Jesus action figure comes with a D-I-Y manual on how to persuade 2000 porkies to do ANYTHING.
This message is a reply to:
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ringo
Member
Posts: 16357
From: frozen wasteland
Joined: 03-23-2005
Member Rating: 3.6


Message 164 of 301 (416261)
08-14-2007 11:14 PM
Reply to: Message 162 by Doddy
08-14-2007 10:16 PM


Re: Lewis Black on creationism
Doddy writes:

Speaking of accessories, are the clothes of Adam and Eve removable?

I was going to say that their fig-leaves were attached by velcro, but I already did my velcro joke. :D


“Faith moves mountains, but only knowledge moves them to the right place” -- Joseph Goebbels
-------------
Help scientific research in your spare time. No cost. No obligation.
Join the World Community Grid with Team EvC
This message is a reply to:
 Message 162 by Doddy, posted 08-14-2007 10:16 PM Doddy has not yet responded

nator
Member (Idle past 278 days)
Posts: 12961
From: Ann Arbor
Joined: 12-09-2001


Message 165 of 301 (416273)
08-14-2007 11:59 PM
Reply to: Message 156 by Jaderis
08-14-2007 6:25 AM


Re: Lewis Black on creationism
A few years ago, our dear friend gave me this for christmas.

He knows me well.


This message is a reply to:
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