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Author | Topic: Teaching Children Both Sides | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Dragoness Member (Idle past 6095 days) Posts: 51 From: SLT, CA Joined: |
This is a personal topic I would like to see if I can open, not sure which forum it belongs in. If its not acceptable for the forum I understand, but I thought this would be a good place to get the information I seek.
I have a 5 year old (6 next month) and she just asked me (in order) 1. How did the dinosaurs die?so I explained what a theory was and the one about that asteroid hitting the earth and that it was a widely accepted theory 2. How were humans created?So I explained that it depened on what you believed, then gave her explantions of evolution and creation in a nutshell. 3. How did I get in your tummy?I told her to ask when shes older 4. Who is God?I gave her a short answer about many people believed that God is the creater of all life, she asked if I believed that. I explained that I beleive in evolution and daddy believes in creation/God. 5. Was God a real person?At this point I told her it was better to ask her daddy because I didn't know enough about God to give her the correct answers. I also told her I would be more than happy to talk about evolution. So my husband and I have decided to start teaching both sides and let her choose her own path. Can anyone here tell me if they have faced this delima? How did you handle it?Can anyone offer tips on how to teach both sides impartially? Can anyone offer any feedback they have on this situation? I really thought I had another year or two before this happened.
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Dragoness Member (Idle past 6095 days) Posts: 51 From: SLT, CA Joined: |
I guess I should explain that she knows all about how life is formed. She understands that mommy has an egg that is fertilized by daddy and the egg grows into a baby bit my bit. She knows how a baby develops from week to week and grows larger, and she knows precisly how babies are born, both vaginally and by c-section.
What she wanted to know was exactly HOW the baby got in there and I don't think at 5 she is old enough to learn about sex, so I choose to delay the question for when she is older. That is my decision as a parent.
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Dragoness Member (Idle past 6095 days) Posts: 51 From: SLT, CA Joined: |
The "both sides" I refer to are Evolution andCreation, Science and Religon. I know there are many many versions of each, but she is not even 6, so we will teach what we know for now. When she is ready she si free to explore other knowledge. We have taught her that mom and dad are not the only places to get answers, but right now we are the best place for her to start. She is our child.
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Dragoness Member (Idle past 6095 days) Posts: 51 From: SLT, CA Joined: |
Thats just the thing, I do not feel she is ready to learn this detail, so no I should NOT "just tell her sex is intercourse"
I don't feel that anyone has a right to say when I should teach my child about intercourse, shes not even 6! Also, like another person said... their child laughed for a week. My daughter has many friends who are younger than her and I really don't thikn their parents would apprecieate their younger kids learning the bird and the bees from my child, I know for a fact it would be a disaster with these kids.
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Dragoness Member (Idle past 6095 days) Posts: 51 From: SLT, CA Joined: |
quote: I do love this idea... but knowing my husband it would likely backfire on me. Edited by Dragoness, : No reason given.
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Dragoness Member (Idle past 6095 days) Posts: 51 From: SLT, CA Joined: |
I think the problem is that you assume since I stated "I believe in evolution" means I mean I don't believe in God. That is not the case, I simply don't believe God created Adam and Eve who in creation are the first humans.
Since when is teaching our children what we choose to teach them wrong anyway? I never asked "Do you think I am teaching my children what I should?"I DID ask how others have handled it.
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Dragoness Member (Idle past 6095 days) Posts: 51 From: SLT, CA Joined: |
Great answers! I would like to go into this further, but alas time will not allow today
I do like that I got two totally opposite answers saying the same thing... in a way. Both "sides" so-to-speak.
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Dragoness Member (Idle past 6095 days) Posts: 51 From: SLT, CA Joined: |
Just a little update on the situation.
IN the past weeks my daughter has mentioned more than once that she firmly believes in evolution (today in a discussion about spiders.)And specifically that she does not believe in God. Now I DID tell her that i would prefer she learn more about everything involved before deciding that. I want her to understand more. And she said, and I quote "Mommy, I don't believe in God or magic, maybe if I see something to make me believe, but right now I just don't"I even tried to show her some great "magic" tricks to see what she would say... "Its a trick mom, I'm not stupid" To be honest I did not think she would have such a strong opinion, but she has her reasons that SHE decided on. However, I will continue to teach both sides. I can't help but think my opinions have somehow biased her because I spend so much time with her, where my husband works a lot and has not taught her anything of God as of yet. In fact I have taught her what I can of God, read children's Bible stories etc. Still, to her they are stories like any other she might read. I am sure there are people here who might say I tried to influence her, but I have not. In fact up until now I have told her I belive in God, just not the Bible. To be honest I have questioned even that lately and no longer I feel I believe in God. This is my CHOICE. Not a loss of faith or anything else. Just a decision made through a lot of studies and through, and for lack of a better tem "soul-searching." But I have NEVER let my child know this, my child is never privy to my religous or lack of thereof conversations with anyone. Yet she has come to this conclusion that she may or may not keep through life. I was the opposite and began life with nothing, developed a relationship with God and religon. All the while questioning and doubting, but I did it because I enjoyed church and youth group, camping with my grandparents and all that came with it. As the years passed and I moved away from my grandparents I was free to explore my own opinions without hurting grandma and grandpa which is something I never would want to do. OK I am rambling. Bottom line, my daughter is choosing science and evolution and has shown a true interst and learning about it. I plan to order a planetary science homeschool set as soon as her reading skills improve enough to allow us to work together. She will be 6 next month, first grade. I hope by the end of the school year we can start reading the homeschool work (in addition to public school.) In the meantime my husband is welcome to begin his religous studies with her any time that he chooses.
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Dragoness Member (Idle past 6095 days) Posts: 51 From: SLT, CA Joined: |
I havent listened to it yet, it would not load and my kids are too lound right now anyway. I will listen soon.
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Dragoness Member (Idle past 6095 days) Posts: 51 From: SLT, CA Joined: |
Again, I ask that this topic be about how you would have or have handled the situation, NOT about how YOU believe I have failed as a parent. I would never dream of sitting here telling you how I think you have failed as a parent, thats just disrespectful.
You do not know my child and have no business telling me to "just let the school handle it" because she is MY child to raise how I see fit. I would prefer not to have to ask a third time for people not to post replies based on what they percieve as my shortcomings as a mother. Its rude.
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Dragoness Member (Idle past 6095 days) Posts: 51 From: SLT, CA Joined: |
quote: It was these three statements in particular that i found upsetting. I dont know if you are a parent, but if you are a mother you would KNOW these statemnts about your children will ALWAYS come off as a reflection of your parenting. "I'm just not convinced that a child such as your kid.." That says to me that a child such as MINE can't learn this, but others can. Maybe thats not how it was implied, but it IS how it feels. "Can't I just let her be a kid?"Sure, but SHE is the one who has initiated these conversations, not me. Part of being a kid is learning. It is offense to be told that I am robbing her of her childhood by educating her when she asks questions. And letting the school handle things is the same answer thats landed far too many kids on the wrong side of the tracks. Teachers are not the parents of our kids. My childs education is MY responsibilty first and foremost, no way I trust that the schools will teach her all she needs to know in life. Wait till college? Are you serious? What if she doesnt choose college, what if she chooses a trade, military, or God Forbid (pun intended) what if she chooses to simple be a mom like I have done? What then? She enters the real world without a clue? No way. Just because I am not college eduacated and didn't take a semester of biology does not disqualify me from teaching my children. That in itself is hurtful. When I joined this site I was told that the scientists scared a lot of Creationsist off. I don't think its the beliefs that scare people, I think its constantly being made to feel stupid for not having the same education. No one wants to stick around where people belittle them for not being "smart enough" to teach their own kids. That is hurtful.
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Dragoness Member (Idle past 6095 days) Posts: 51 From: SLT, CA Joined: |
Thank you!
I am tired of people telling me how stupid they think I am for teaching my child. People NOT teaching their children things is what has our country in a bind, not the other way around! I will not be punished for being an involved parent.
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Dragoness Member (Idle past 6095 days) Posts: 51 From: SLT, CA Joined: |
I think the assumption here is that I plan to homeschool my kids and teach them only what I know from the top of my head. Please, I may not have a college education, but I am not stupid. I am perfectly capable of teaching my children many things, and many of those things they will learn more about in school, and much of it I will have to learn or relearn. I am well aware of this.
I plan to be involved in my childs education on ALL subjects, not as a substitute for school, but in additon to.
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Dragoness Member (Idle past 6095 days) Posts: 51 From: SLT, CA Joined: |
quote: Anytime anyone IMO takes a stab at my parenting in ANY way I will react. Just because I reacted does not mean I have over reacted. I have not used any foul language or shouted, or pouted, or stormed off upset. I simply defending myself as a parent, something I will always do. I asked in this topic how others would have handled it or how they have handled it, NOT how everyone thinks I should have done it. There is a huge difference. Believe it or not I am a very laid back person. I don't pretend to know everything, nor do I prented I or my children are perfect. Far from it. If one of my children had a problem such as a learning disability I would be the first, not the last to address it. I know I can't teach many things, but I can give my child a foundation and thats exactly what I am doing.
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Dragoness Member (Idle past 6095 days) Posts: 51 From: SLT, CA Joined: |
Well as long as we can all respectfully react.
Now pardon me while I go take crae of the path of destruction left by someone elses kid... someone who doesnt EVER discipline their kid. This 5 year odl actually PUSHED my CRAWLING infant son over so he hit his head because this child didnt want him near him. Ohhh I am steamed right now. You can critisize that parent all you want... my kids would NEVER behave so poorly! I to make matters worse, I have to babysit him tomorrow and its my sons 3rd birthday!
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