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Author | Topic: Humor III | |||||||||||||||||||||||
Taz Member (Idle past 3292 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
Q: what does the buddhist say to a hot dog vendor? A: Make me one with everything. OMG, I've been laughing at this for the last 5 minutes. I remember this from high school.---------- A priest, a minister, and a rabbi hold up a sign on the side of a highway that says "The end is Near!!! Turn back now before it's too late!!" A car speeds by and the driver yells out something. The 3 holy men could only hear "Go home you crazy..." A short time after the car passes, the 3 holy men could hear a loud tire screeching sound and a big crashing sound. The rabbi turns to the other two and says, "Perhaps we should be a little more specific and tell people the bridge is out."
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Taz Member (Idle past 3292 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
berberry writes:
First of all, practically all atheist organizations that I have ever heard of have never made it anywhere due to lack of support. But more importantly, it's generally a political suicide to ever proclaim yourself a god nonbeliever. that atheists really need to get themselves organized for serious political action. If there's one thing that is bleedingly apparent in our society is that the christians have fortified themselves too long and deep to be challenged.
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Taz Member (Idle past 3292 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
{Edited - Double post... first time for everything}
Edited by Tazmanian Devil, : No reason given.
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Taz Member (Idle past 3292 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,254040,00.html
quote: Now, here's what's interesting and funny enough to make me laugh for a long time before posting it here. Fred Phelps issued a press release saying he was going to protest outside the South Tulsa Baptist Church.
Godhatesfags link to what fred has to say about it.
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Taz Member (Idle past 3292 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
On NPR today they were talking about Iraq again. Anyway, they said that the initial name for the operation was Operation Iraqi Liberation (O.I.L). Notice anything there? Luckily, somebody down the chain of command noticed the acronym.
Anyway, here's a cartoon to go with it.
Disclaimer: Occasionally, owing to the deficiency of the English language, I have used he/him/his meaning he or she/him or her/his or her in order to avoid awkwardness of style. He, him, and his are not intended as exclusively masculine pronouns. They may refer to either sex or to both sexes!
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Taz Member (Idle past 3292 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
Your wife has 2 older twin sisters name Patty and Selma?
Disclaimer: Occasionally, owing to the deficiency of the English language, I have used he/him/his meaning he or she/him or her/his or her in order to avoid awkwardness of style. He, him, and his are not intended as exclusively masculine pronouns. They may refer to either sex or to both sexes!
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Taz Member (Idle past 3292 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
You're getting very cryptic.
Disclaimer: Occasionally, owing to the deficiency of the English language, I have used he/him/his meaning he or she/him or her/his or her in order to avoid awkwardness of style. He, him, and his are not intended as exclusively masculine pronouns. They may refer to either sex or to both sexes!
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Taz Member (Idle past 3292 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
riverrat writes:
Yeah, and the last guy that sang it almost had a chair fly at his head. Only by the grace of god (aka my wife) did I refrain from using my metal folding chair as a projectile. Ever hear the song, I'm my own grandpa? Disclaimer: Occasionally, owing to the deficiency of the English language, I have used he/him/his meaning he or she/him or her/his or her in order to avoid awkwardness of style. He, him, and his are not intended as exclusively masculine pronouns. They may refer to either sex or to both sexes!
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Taz Member (Idle past 3292 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
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Taz Member (Idle past 3292 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
A farmer had a car accident. In court, the trucking company's lawyer was questioning Clyde.
"Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident 'I'm fine'?", asked the lawyer? The farmer responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule, Bessie, into the..." "I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?" The farmer said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road...." The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question." By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in the farmer's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule, Bessie." The farmer thanked the Judge and proceeded, "Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting, real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident, a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun in hand, looked at me, and said 'How are you feeling?' Now, what the hell would you have said?" Disclaimer: Occasionally, owing to the deficiency of the English language, I have used he/him/his meaning he or she/him or her/his or her in order to avoid awkwardness of style. He, him, and his are not intended as exclusively masculine pronouns. They may refer to either sex or to both sexes!
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Taz Member (Idle past 3292 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
He meant Muhammad Ali.
Disclaimer: Occasionally, owing to the deficiency of the English language, I have used he/him/his meaning he or she/him or her/his or her in order to avoid awkwardness of style. He, him, and his are not intended as exclusively masculine pronouns. They may refer to either sex or to both sexes!
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Taz Member (Idle past 3292 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
Hahaha. This reminds me of an NPR news story I heard a couple years ago. At the time, educators in Indonesia were worried when their national standardize test showed that over 40-some percent of their high school students couldn't locate their own country on the map.
Added by edit. I heard it while driving for many hours on the road. And this was a couple years ago. So, my memory of this might not be as accurate as I'd like it to be. This information may not be correct! Edited by Tazmanius Devilus, : No reason given. Disclaimer: Occasionally, owing to the deficiency of the English language, I have used he/him/his meaning he or she/him or her/his or her in order to avoid awkwardness of style. He, him, and his are not intended as exclusively masculine pronouns. They may refer to either sex or to both sexes!
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Taz Member (Idle past 3292 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
Here is an in-the-closet case that we so often see in the christian community.
Disclaimer: Occasionally, owing to the deficiency of the English language, I have used he/him/his meaning he or she/him or her/his or her in order to avoid awkwardness of style. He, him, and his are not intended as exclusively masculine pronouns. They may refer to either sex or to both sexes!
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Taz Member (Idle past 3292 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
The rising cost of gasoline is opening up new markets for many companies. For instance, HONDA after a long process of research will put in the market a motorcycle which runs entirely on NATURAL GAS. I've never ridden a motorcycle in my life, so I guess I wouldn't get one of these. For those of you who are interested in motorcycle, click here to see the prototype of this revolutionary invention.
Disclaimer: Occasionally, owing to the deficiency of the English language, I have used he/him/his meaning he or she/him or her/his or her in order to avoid awkwardness of style. He, him, and his are not intended as exclusively masculine pronouns. They may refer to either sex or to both sexes!
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Taz Member (Idle past 3292 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
After staring at that picture for 2 minutes, I still couldn't make out what's so funny about it. Mind explaining a bit?
Disclaimer: Occasionally, owing to the deficiency of the English language, I have used he/him/his meaning he or she/him or her/his or her in order to avoid awkwardness of style. He, him, and his are not intended as exclusively masculine pronouns. They may refer to either sex or to both sexes!
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