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Author Topic:   Humor IV
Minnemooseus
Member
Posts: 3940
From: Duluth, Minnesota, U.S. (West end of Lake Superior)
Joined: 11-11-2001
Member Rating: 10.0


Message 61 of 540 (475572)
07-16-2008 7:25 PM


A side note to the "P.Z. Myers in the news..." topic
P.Z. Myers in the news (the catholic church communion wafer incident)
quote:
Ole was the only Lutheran in his little town of all Catholics. That was okay, but the neighbors had a problem with his barbecuing venison every Friday. Since they couldn't eat meat on Friday, the tempting aroma was getting the best of them. So the neighbors got together and went over and persuaded Ole to join their church. The big day came and the priest had Ole kneel. He put his hand on Ole's head and said, "Ole, you were born a Lutheran, you were raised a Lutheran, and now," he said as he sprinkled some incense over Ole's head, "now you are a Catholic!"
Ole was happy and the neighbors were happy. But the following Friday evening at suppertime, there was again that aroma coming from Ole's yard. The neighbors went to talk to him and as they approached the fence, they heard Ole saying: "You were born a whitetail deer, you were raised a whitetail, and now," he said with a sprinkle of seasoning, "now you are a walleye!"
Source = Past Shows | A Prairie Home Companion
Moose

Hyroglyphx
Inactive Member


Message 62 of 540 (475893)
07-19-2008 3:14 PM


Time for some campaignin'
It is time for some light-hearted, non-partisan humor to get you in the spirit of voting.
Enjoy...
http://sendables.jibjab.com/

“I know where I am and who I am. I'm on the brink of disillusionment, on the eve of bitter sweet. I'm perpetually one step away from either collapse or rebirth. I am exactly where I need to be. Either way I go towards rebirth, for a total collapse often brings a rebirth." -Andrew Jaramillo

ramoss
Member (Idle past 602 days)
Posts: 3228
Joined: 08-11-2004


Message 63 of 540 (477477)
08-03-2008 12:58 PM


Jewish Humor
A Jewish commedian on Bush, the Bible, fossils, and evolution.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0gAcbAGPH4

Replies to this message:
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bluescat48
Member (Idle past 4180 days)
Posts: 2347
From: United States
Joined: 10-06-2007


Message 64 of 540 (477495)
08-03-2008 6:56 PM
Reply to: Message 63 by ramoss
08-03-2008 12:58 PM


Re: Jewish Humor
Excellent video. He hits the nail right on the head.

There is no better love between 2 people than mutual respect for each other WT Young, 2002
Who gave anyone the authority to call me an authority on anything. WT Young, 1969

This message is a reply to:
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Stile
Member
Posts: 4295
From: Ontario, Canada
Joined: 12-02-2004


Message 65 of 540 (477874)
08-08-2008 3:08 PM


What is oozing out of our ground?
What is the world coming to that ground water has become so horribly contaminated over the last 20 years?

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New Cat's Eye
Inactive Member


Message 66 of 540 (477875)
08-08-2008 3:39 PM
Reply to: Message 65 by Stile
08-08-2008 3:08 PM


Re: What is oozing out of our ground?
What is the world coming to that ground water has become so horribly contaminated over the last 20 years?
Didn't you hear her.... its metallic oxide salts.

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AZPaul3
Member
Posts: 8493
From: Phoenix
Joined: 11-06-2006
Member Rating: 4.7


Message 67 of 540 (477880)
08-08-2008 4:54 PM
Reply to: Message 65 by Stile
08-08-2008 3:08 PM


Re: What is oozing out of our ground?
She is wrong.
Over 6,000 years ago god put the metal oxide salts in our water to test our faith. We failed.
Edited by AZPaul3, : cuz.

This message is a reply to:
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anglagard
Member (Idle past 827 days)
Posts: 2339
From: Socorro, New Mexico USA
Joined: 03-18-2006


Message 68 of 540 (477887)
08-08-2008 6:55 PM
Reply to: Message 65 by Stile
08-08-2008 3:08 PM


Re: What is oozing out of our ground?
Perhaps she should use Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator to water her lawn.
It has electrolytes!

Read not to contradict and confute, not to believe and take for granted, not to find talk and discourse, but to weigh and consider - Francis Bacon
The more we understand particular things, the more we understand God - Spinoza

This message is a reply to:
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bluegenes
Member (Idle past 2467 days)
Posts: 3119
From: U.K.
Joined: 01-24-2007


Message 69 of 540 (477889)
08-08-2008 7:07 PM
Reply to: Message 65 by Stile
08-08-2008 3:08 PM


Re: What is oozing out of our ground?
Has Ray had a sex change?

This message is a reply to:
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RAZD
Member (Idle past 1395 days)
Posts: 20714
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004


Message 70 of 540 (477936)
08-09-2008 6:51 PM
Reply to: Message 65 by Stile
08-08-2008 3:08 PM


Re: What is oozing out of our ground?
OMG
she's right!
I looked a pictures from my childhood when we played in sprinklers and there was no color in the spray!!!
Enjoy

This message is a reply to:
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Replies to this message:
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AnswersInGenitals
Member (Idle past 141 days)
Posts: 673
Joined: 07-20-2006


Message 71 of 540 (477949)
08-10-2008 12:43 AM
Reply to: Message 70 by RAZD
08-09-2008 6:51 PM


Re: What is oozing out of our ground?
OMG
she's right!
I looked a pictures from my childhood when we played in sprinklers and there was no color in the spray!!!
But then, color photography hadn't yet been invented when you were a child. (I couldn't check my childhood pictures because photography hadn't been invented yet.)
Edited by AnswersInGenitals, : No reason given.

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Minnemooseus
Member
Posts: 3940
From: Duluth, Minnesota, U.S. (West end of Lake Superior)
Joined: 11-11-2001
Member Rating: 10.0


Message 72 of 540 (478531)
08-16-2008 8:44 PM


GWB at Olympics

RAZD
Member (Idle past 1395 days)
Posts: 20714
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004


Message 73 of 540 (478711)
08-19-2008 10:14 PM


Abbott and Costello ?
From an email:
quote:
If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch,
'Who's on First?' might have turned out something like this:
COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO : Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking
about buying a computer.
ABBOTT : Mac?
COSTELLO : No, the name's Lou .
ABBOTT : Your computer?
COSTELLO : I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT : Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou .
ABBOTT : What about Windows?
COSTELLO : Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT : Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO : I don't know. What will I see when I look at the
windows?
ABBOTT : Wallpaper.
COSTELLO : Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT : Software for Windows?
COSTELLO : No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT : Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT : I just did.
COSTELLO : You just did what?
ABBOTT : Recommend something.
COSTELLO : You recommended something ?
ABBOTT : Yes.
COSTELLO : For my office?
ABBOTT : Yes.
COSTELLO : OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT : Office.
COSTELLO : Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT : I recommend Office with Windows.
COSTELLO : I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm
sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT : Word.
COSTELLO : What word?
ABBOTT : Word in Office.
COSTELLO : The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT : The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO : Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT : The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.
COSTELLO : I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some
straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I
can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO : That's right. What do you have?
ABBOTT : Money.
COSTELLO : I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT : It comes bundled with yo ur computer.
COSTELLO : What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT : Money.
COSTELLO : Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT : Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO : I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT : One copy.
COSTELLO : Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT : Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO : They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT : Why not? THEY OWN IT!
(A few days later)
ABBOTT : Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO : How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT : Click on 'START'.............
I don't want to start anything ...
Enjoy.
Edited by RAZD, : .

we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand
Rebel American Zen Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.


• • • Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click) • • •

Replies to this message:
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ramoss
Member (Idle past 602 days)
Posts: 3228
Joined: 08-11-2004


Message 74 of 540 (479049)
08-23-2008 9:59 PM


Medival Tech SUpport

bluescat48
Member (Idle past 4180 days)
Posts: 2347
From: United States
Joined: 10-06-2007


Message 75 of 540 (479050)
08-23-2008 10:07 PM
Reply to: Message 73 by RAZD
08-19-2008 10:14 PM


Re: Abbott and Costello ?
Beautiful. If you don't hear from me in the next 24 hours, it means I probably died laughing!!!!

There is no better love between 2 people than mutual respect for each other WT Young, 2002
Who gave anyone the authority to call me an authority on anything. WT Young, 1969

This message is a reply to:
 Message 73 by RAZD, posted 08-19-2008 10:14 PM RAZD has seen this message but not replied

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