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Author Topic:   Humor IV
subbie
Member (Idle past 27 days)
Posts: 3509
Joined: 02-26-2006


Message 76 of 540 (480208)
09-01-2008 1:27 PM


Gov. Palin's 17 year old daughter Bristol is pregnant
http://blogs.abcnews.com/politicalpunch/2008/09/gov-palin-says.html

They really should have anticipated that a girl named Bristol (after the speedway in Tennessee) would be fast and like to rev her engine under the lights.


Those who would sacrifice an essential liberty for a temporary security will lose both, and deserve neither. -- Benjamin Franklin

We see monsters where science shows us windmills. -- Phat


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 Message 77 by Chiroptera, posted 09-01-2008 2:41 PM subbie has not yet responded

Chiroptera
Member
Posts: 6802
From: Oklahoma
Joined: 09-28-2003
Member Rating: 6.8


Message 77 of 540 (480212)
09-01-2008 2:41 PM
Reply to: Message 76 by subbie
09-01-2008 1:27 PM


Re: Gov. Palin's 17 year old daughter Bristol is pregnant
Commenting on another person's personal life may be inappropriate, but I can't help but point out that I do find some ironic humor in what the younger Palin's pregnancy says about the effectiveness of the "Abstinence Only Education" policies held by the mother.


Speaking personally, I find few things more awesome than contemplating this vast and majestic process of evolution, the ebb and flow of successive biotas through geological time. Creationists and others who cannot for ideological or religious reasons accept the fact of evolution miss out a great deal, and are left with a claustrophobic little universe in which nothing happens and nothing changes.
-- M. Alan Kazlev

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 Message 76 by subbie, posted 09-01-2008 1:27 PM subbie has not yet responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 78 by Hyroglyphx, posted 09-01-2008 3:28 PM Chiroptera has responded

Hyroglyphx
Member
Posts: 5826
From: Austin, TX
Joined: 05-03-2006
Member Rating: 1.9


Message 78 of 540 (480213)
09-01-2008 3:28 PM
Reply to: Message 77 by Chiroptera
09-01-2008 2:41 PM


Re: Gov. Palin's 17 year old daughter Bristol is pregnant
Commenting on another person's personal life may be inappropriate, but I can't help but point out that I do find some ironic humor in what the younger Palin's pregnancy says about the effectiveness of the "Abstinence Only Education" policies held by the mother.

Would it be less ironic and less humorous if Gov. Palin advocated condom dispenseries and her daughter still got pregnant? Or, you know, maybe an unwed pregnant 17 year old isn't humorous at all for all the reasons listed in the article.


“Tu ne cede malis sed contra audentior ito"

This message is a reply to:
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Replies to this message:
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cavediver
Member (Idle past 1926 days)
Posts: 4129
From: UK
Joined: 06-16-2005


Message 79 of 540 (480214)
09-01-2008 3:36 PM
Reply to: Message 78 by Hyroglyphx
09-01-2008 3:28 PM


Re: Gov. Palin's 17 year old daughter Bristol is pregnant
Would it be less ironic and less humorous if Gov. Palin advocated condom dispenseries and her daughter still got pregnant?

Yes, for blatently obvious reasons :rolleyes:


This message is a reply to:
 Message 78 by Hyroglyphx, posted 09-01-2008 3:28 PM Hyroglyphx has responded

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Chiroptera
Member
Posts: 6802
From: Oklahoma
Joined: 09-28-2003
Member Rating: 6.8


Message 80 of 540 (480216)
09-01-2008 3:49 PM
Reply to: Message 78 by Hyroglyphx
09-01-2008 3:28 PM


Re: Gov. Palin's 17 year old daughter Bristol is pregnant
quote:
Or, you know, maybe an unwed pregnant 17 year old isn't humorous at all for all the reasons listed in the article.

Where I grew up, nothing was off-limits to black or ironic humor. (That was in Sarah Palin's Alaska, by the way, just for topic reference.) I make humorous remarks about a lot of topics that many people find offensive; you're not the first, neither will be the last.

-

quote:
Would it be less ironic and less humorous if Gov. Palin advocated condom dispenseries and her daughter still got pregnant?

Actually it's possible that the young couple were using condoms in spite of Gov. Palin's views. But detailed statistics on the best method reducing unwanted pregnancies and STDs among teenagers and how they contribute to the irony of the situation is probably not appropriate for the humor thread.


Speaking personally, I find few things more awesome than contemplating this vast and majestic process of evolution, the ebb and flow of successive biotas through geological time. Creationists and others who cannot for ideological or religious reasons accept the fact of evolution miss out a great deal, and are left with a claustrophobic little universe in which nothing happens and nothing changes.
-- M. Alan Kazlev

This message is a reply to:
 Message 78 by Hyroglyphx, posted 09-01-2008 3:28 PM Hyroglyphx has not yet responded

Hyroglyphx
Member
Posts: 5826
From: Austin, TX
Joined: 05-03-2006
Member Rating: 1.9


Message 81 of 540 (480220)
09-01-2008 4:49 PM
Reply to: Message 79 by cavediver
09-01-2008 3:36 PM


Re: Gov. Palin's 17 year old daughter Bristol is pregnant
Yes, for blatently obvious reasons

How so, if the point is not to get pregnant? Whether it is by abstaining or by using contraceptives, if she got pregnant it stands to reason that the hilarity would continue.... Well, if that we're actually funny to begin with.


“Tu ne cede malis sed contra audentior ito"

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Hyroglyphx
Member
Posts: 5826
From: Austin, TX
Joined: 05-03-2006
Member Rating: 1.9


Message 82 of 540 (480231)
09-01-2008 5:39 PM


2008 Democrat National Convention (email)
Schedule of Events

7:00 pm OPENING FLAG BURNING

7:15 pm PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE TO THE U.N.

7:20 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

7:25 pm NONRELIGIOUS PRAYER AND WORSHIP - Jesse Jackson & Al Sharpton

7:45 pm CEREMONIAL TREE HUGGING - Darryl Hannah

7:55 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

8:00 pm HOW I INVENTED THE INTERNET - Al Gore

8:15 pm GAY WEDDING PLANNING - Rosie O'Donnell

8:35 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

8:40 pm OUR TROOPS ARE WAR CRIMINALS - John Kerry

9.00 pm MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR SADDAM AND HIS SONS - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon

10:00 pm ANSWERING MACHINE ETIQUETTE - Alec Baldwin

11:00 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

11:05 pm COLLECTION FOR THE OSAMA BIN LADEN KIDNEY TRANSPLANT FUND - Barbara Streisand

11:15 pm FREE THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS FROM GUANTANAMO BAY - Sean Penn

11:30 pm OVAL OFFICE AFFAIRS - William Jefferson Clinton

11:45 pm Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

11:50 pm HOW GEORGE BUSH BROUGHT DOWN THE WORLD TRADE TOWERS - Howard Dean

12:15 am TRUTH IN BROADCASTING AWARD - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore

12:25 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST

12:30 am SATELLITE ADDRESS - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

12:45 am NOMINATION OF Barack Hussein Obama- Nancy Pelosi

1:00 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST To Obama

1:30 am Ted Kennedy PROPOSES A TOAST To Hillary Clinton

1:35 am Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home

:laugh:


Replies to this message:
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ramoss
Member
Posts: 3122
Joined: 08-11-2004
Member Rating: 3.4


Message 83 of 540 (480650)
09-05-2008 11:02 AM


Do not play the gender card!

Minnemooseus
Member
Posts: 3763
From: Duluth, Minnesota, U.S. (West end of Lake Superior)
Joined: 11-11-2001
Member Rating: 3.4


Message 84 of 540 (481690)
09-12-2008 6:28 AM


Doonsebury, from Aug. 1
Just discovered this in an old newspaper. I don't have a link to an online version.

Frame 1:

Michael Doonsebury(?): "You know Joanie, from day one you seemed to think that Obama's personal appeal gave him an unfair edge...

Frame 2:

Mike: ...As if using his extraordinary gifts to excite voters was somehow cheating!"

Frame 3:

Joanie Caucus: "I know, I know. It's ridiculous. I guess I'm still a little bitter he had so many natural advantages over Hillary."

Frame 4:

Mike: "Like being black with a Muslim name?"

Joanie: "Well, exactly! Who knew America was ready?"

Moose


Professor, geology, Whatsamatta U
Evolution - Changes in the environment, caused by the interactions of the components of the environment.

"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer." - Bruce Graham

"The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness." - John Kenneth Galbraith

"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron." - H.L. Mencken (1880-1956)

"Nixon was a professional politician, and I despised everything he stood for — but if he were running for president this year against the evil Bush-Cheney gang, I would happily vote for him." - Hunter S. Thompson

"I know a little about a lot of things, and a lot about a few things, but I'm highly ignorant about everything." - Moose


  
Minnemooseus
Member
Posts: 3763
From: Duluth, Minnesota, U.S. (West end of Lake Superior)
Joined: 11-11-2001
Member Rating: 3.4


Message 85 of 540 (481699)
09-12-2008 7:14 AM
Reply to: Message 82 by Hyroglyphx
09-01-2008 5:39 PM


2008 Republican National Convention
Schedule of Events

7:00 pm Opening raising of the Halliburton flag.

7:15 pm John Bolton speech on why the United Nations is irrelevant and why the U.S. shouldn't give a rip what the rest of the world thinks.

7:20 pm Dick Cheney fires off a celebratory shotgun blast.

7:25 pm Religious prayer – Anne Colter

7:45 pm Ceremonial tree chipping – James Watt (is he still alive?)

7:55 pm Dick Cheney fires off another celebratory shotgun blast.

8:00 pm How the Bush Administration was “A uniter, not a divider”

8:15 pm Yacht launchings power point presentation - Some rich SOB

8:35 pm Dick Cheney fires another celebratory shotgun blast

8:40 pm Torture is a good thing – Alberto Gonzolas

9.00 pm Memorial service for Jerry Falwall – Sarah Palin and George W. Bush

10:00 pm CIA covert agent ID protection – Scooter Libby and Dick Cheney

11:00 pm Dick Cheney fires off yet another celebratory shotgun blast.

11:05 pm Collection for the Dick Cheney heart transplant fund – Ted Nugent

11:15 pm Free the Enron executives from prison – Someone wearing a mask.

11:30 pm The second amendment and firearms safety – Dick Cheney

11:45 pm Dick Cheney fires off yet another celebratory shotgun blast. Reloads gun.

11:50 pm Ronald Reagan's loving relationship with Bonzo the chimp - Nancy Reagan

12:15 am Truth in broadcasting award – Presented to the Faux Network by Ben Stein and Jerome Corsi

12:25 am Dick Cheney fires off yet another celebratory shotgun blast.

12:30 am Seance – Republican party endorsed by Benito Musolini.

12:45 am Nomination of John McCain – Newt Gingritch

1:00 am Dick Cheney fires off yet another celebratory shotgun blast, almost hits John McCain.

1:30 am Dick Cheney fires off yet another celebratory shotgun blast which rearranges Sarah Palin’s hairdo.

1:35 am John McCain asks Dick Cheney to take George W. Bush out on a hunting trip.

OK, some rough edges there, but probably still as good as the Democrat version.

Moose

Edited by Minnemooseus, : Tweak.

Edited by Minnemooseus, : Another tweak.


Professor, geology, Whatsamatta U
Evolution - Changes in the environment, caused by the interactions of the components of the environment.

"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer." - Bruce Graham

"The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness." - John Kenneth Galbraith

"As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron." - H.L. Mencken (1880-1956)

"Nixon was a professional politician, and I despised everything he stood for — but if he were running for president this year against the evil Bush-Cheney gang, I would happily vote for him." - Hunter S. Thompson

"I know a little about a lot of things, and a lot about a few things, but I'm highly ignorant about everything." - Moose


This message is a reply to:
 Message 82 by Hyroglyphx, posted 09-01-2008 5:39 PM Hyroglyphx has not yet responded

  
Rrhain
Member (Idle past 155 days)
Posts: 6349
From: San Diego, CA, USA
Joined: 05-03-2003


Message 86 of 540 (481844)
09-13-2008 1:58 AM
Reply to: Message 78 by Hyroglyphx
09-01-2008 3:28 PM


Nemesis Juggernaut writes:

quote:
Would it be less ironic and less humorous if Gov. Palin advocated condom dispenseries and her daughter still got pregnant?

Less ironic? Yes. Don't you know what "irony" means? It is not, in its seemingly current usage, "self-awareness mixed with snark."

When those who were taught comprehensive sex education have sex, they take precautions and have fewer unplanned pregnancies. When those who were taught abstinence only have sex, they don't and wind up getting pregnant.

"Irony" is when you are trying to avoid something and yet the very things you do to avoid the result are what cause it to happen in the first place. Thus, a child who gets pregnant after being taught abstinence only is inherently ironic: The very thing they were taught in an attempt to avoid pregnancy is what caused the pregnancy. And let's not play dumb and respond about how sex is what caused the pregnancy. The specific refusal to teach people how to have sex and reduce the risk of pregnancy actually results in more pregnancy. That's irony.

quote:
Or, you know, maybe an unwed pregnant 17 year old isn't humorous at all for all the reasons listed in the article.

Strange...if Obama had a teenaged daughter who was pregnant, I get the feeling that the very people who are claiming that Bristol's pregnancy is a triumph of god's will would be talking about the failure of "liberal" values. But because Bristol is white, exceptions get to be made.

And yes, that's funny. It's dark humor, "have to laugh otherwise you'll cry" humor, but humor nonetheless.

You'll notice, for example, that nobody is poking fun at Bristol. It's Sarah that's the target.


Rrhain

Thank you for your submission to Science. Your paper was reviewed by a jury of seventh graders so that they could look for balance and to allow them to make up their own minds. We are sorry to say that they found your paper "bogus," specifically describing the section on the laboratory work "boring." We regret that we will be unable to publish your work at this time.

This message is a reply to:
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Rrhain
Member (Idle past 155 days)
Posts: 6349
From: San Diego, CA, USA
Joined: 05-03-2003


Message 87 of 540 (481845)
09-13-2008 2:17 AM
Reply to: Message 81 by Hyroglyphx
09-01-2008 4:49 PM


Nemesis Juggernaut writes:

quote:
How so, if the point is not to get pregnant?

Because if you don't tell people how not to get pregnant thinking that by not telling them then they won't, it is only obvious that when they do finally have sex, they're not going to take any precautions and will become pregnant.

That's known as "irony": When the very actions you take in an attempt to not have something happen are the very things that cause it to come to pass.

Refuse to teach people how to avoid pregnancy, and they'll become pregnant.

quote:
if she got pregnant it stands to reason that the hilarity would continue.... Well, if that we're actually funny to begin with.

Ahem. Nobody is laughing at Bristol.

They're laughing at Sarah. You do understand the difference, yes?


Rrhain

Thank you for your submission to Science. Your paper was reviewed by a jury of seventh graders so that they could look for balance and to allow them to make up their own minds. We are sorry to say that they found your paper "bogus," specifically describing the section on the laboratory work "boring." We regret that we will be unable to publish your work at this time.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 81 by Hyroglyphx, posted 09-01-2008 4:49 PM Hyroglyphx has not yet responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 88 by Adminnemooseus, posted 09-13-2008 4:15 AM Rrhain has not yet responded

  
Adminnemooseus
Director
Posts: 3896
Joined: 09-26-2002


Message 88 of 540 (481848)
09-13-2008 4:15 AM
Reply to: Message 87 by Rrhain
09-13-2008 2:17 AM


Enough of this, at this topic loacation
It is at best on the fringe of what should be in a "Humor" topic.

Please find a better place for it.

Adminnemooseus


New Members should start HERE to get an understanding of what makes great posts.

Report a problem etc. type topics:
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Admin writes:

It really helps moderators figure out if a topic is disintegrating because of general misbehavior versus someone in particular if the originally non-misbehaving members kept it that way. When everyone is prickly and argumentative and off-topic and personal then it's just too difficult to tell. We have neither infinite time to untie the Gordian knot, nor the wisdom of Solomon.

There used to be a comedian who presented his ideas for a better world, and one of them was to arm everyone on the highway with little rubber dart guns. Every time you see a driver doing something stupid, you fire a little dart at his car. When a state trooper sees someone driving down the highway with a bunch of darts all over his car he pulls him over for being an idiot.

Please make it easy to tell you apart from the idiots. Source


This message is a reply to:
 Message 87 by Rrhain, posted 09-13-2008 2:17 AM Rrhain has not yet responded

  
kuresu
Member (Idle past 796 days)
Posts: 2544
From: boulder, colorado
Joined: 03-24-2006


Message 89 of 540 (481969)
09-13-2008 5:51 PM


Pratt County
stumbled across this while trying to discredit Wells.

Apparently in Dec 2000, Pratt County made room for ID in their science curriculum. Not only that, a critic of Wells wrote a letter to the Pratt Tribune.

too funny.


  
Granny Magda
Member
Posts: 2380
From: UK
Joined: 11-12-2007


Message 90 of 540 (482875)
09-18-2008 4:00 PM


Can the Rest of Us Have Our Planet Back?
The following is a splendidly funny rant against the three Abrahamic religions, delivered by Marcus Brigstocke, of BBC Radio 4's The Now Show. Theists be warned; he's not being especially tactful here. In fact, this little diatribe received quite a few complaints when it went out...

Funny though :)

Mutate and Survive


"The Bible is like a person, and if you torture it long enough, you can get it to say almost anything you'd like it to say." -- Rev. Dr. Francis H. Wade

Replies to this message:
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