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Author Topic:   Humor IV
Taz
Member (Idle past 1549 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 211 of 540 (507649)
05-07-2009 2:23 AM
Reply to: Message 207 by Shield
05-06-2009 12:48 PM


Re: Old Renter Says Asians Need Not Apply?
I'm sorry, I watched that vid several times. I still don't understand. What did he mean to say in the ad?

This message is a reply to:
 Message 207 by Shield, posted 05-06-2009 12:48 PM Shield has not yet responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 212 by PaulK, posted 05-07-2009 2:59 AM Taz has responded

PaulK
Member
Posts: 15386
Joined: 01-10-2003
Member Rating: 3.4


Message 212 of 540 (507650)
05-07-2009 2:59 AM
Reply to: Message 211 by Taz
05-07-2009 2:23 AM


Re: Old Renter Says Asians Need Not Apply?
He meant it to say "agents", not "Asians".

This message is a reply to:
 Message 211 by Taz, posted 05-07-2009 2:23 AM Taz has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 213 by Taz, posted 05-07-2009 11:11 AM PaulK has responded

  
Taz
Member (Idle past 1549 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 213 of 540 (507675)
05-07-2009 11:11 AM
Reply to: Message 212 by PaulK
05-07-2009 2:59 AM


Re: Old Renter Says Asians Need Not Apply?
Paulk writes:

He meant it to say "agents", not "Asians".


I thought at first that's what he said, but I guess I just couldn't believe he misspelled agents that badly... he even capitalized "Asians" for goodness sakes.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 212 by PaulK, posted 05-07-2009 2:59 AM PaulK has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 214 by PaulK, posted 05-07-2009 11:13 AM Taz has responded

PaulK
Member
Posts: 15386
Joined: 01-10-2003
Member Rating: 3.4


Message 214 of 540 (507676)
05-07-2009 11:13 AM
Reply to: Message 213 by Taz
05-07-2009 11:11 AM


Re: Old Renter Says Asians Need Not Apply?
It's a cheap newspaper ad. He probably dictated it over the 'phone.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 213 by Taz, posted 05-07-2009 11:11 AM Taz has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 215 by Taz, posted 05-07-2009 11:37 AM PaulK has not yet responded

  
Taz
Member (Idle past 1549 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 215 of 540 (507681)
05-07-2009 11:37 AM
Reply to: Message 214 by PaulK
05-07-2009 11:13 AM


Re: Old Renter Says Asians Need Not Apply?
You're making excuses for him. Are you trying to tell us something LOL

This message is a reply to:
 Message 214 by PaulK, posted 05-07-2009 11:13 AM PaulK has not yet responded

Lithodid-Man
Member (Idle past 1188 days)
Posts: 504
From: Juneau, Alaska, USA
Joined: 03-22-2004


Message 216 of 540 (507690)
05-07-2009 12:19 PM


Snow White...
Pinocchio, Snow White and Superman are walking down the street when they come across a sign, 'Beauty contest for the most beautiful woman in the world.'

'I am entering,' said Snow White. After half an hour she comes out and they ask her, 'Well, how was it? 'First Place', Snow White replied.

They continue walking and they see a sign: 'Contest for the strongest man in the world .'

'I'm entering,' says Superman and after half an hour he returns and they ask him, 'How was it?' 'First Place,' answers Superman.

They continue walking when they see a sign 'Contest! Who is the world's greatest liar?'

Pinocchio enters. After half an hour he returns with tears in his eyes. 'What happened?' they asked,

'Who's Dick Cheney?' asked Pinocchio


Doctor Bashir: "Of all the stories you told me, which were true and which weren't?"
Elim Garak: "My dear Doctor, they're all true"
Doctor Bashir: "Even the lies?"
Elim Garak: "Especially the lies"

  
subbie
Member (Idle past 2 days)
Posts: 3509
Joined: 02-26-2006


Message 217 of 540 (508282)
05-12-2009 12:25 AM


This sums it up nicely.....


For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus -- and non-believers. -- Barack Obama

We see monsters where science shows us windmills. -- Phat


Replies to this message:
 Message 218 by Taz, posted 05-12-2009 2:46 AM subbie has not yet responded
 Message 219 by kuresu, posted 05-12-2009 8:46 AM subbie has not yet responded

Taz
Member (Idle past 1549 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 218 of 540 (508290)
05-12-2009 2:46 AM
Reply to: Message 217 by subbie
05-12-2009 12:25 AM


Re: This sums it up nicely.....
Muahahahahahahahahaha!!! It took me a couple seconds, but I got it.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 217 by subbie, posted 05-12-2009 12:25 AM subbie has not yet responded

kuresu
Member (Idle past 771 days)
Posts: 2544
From: boulder, colorado
Joined: 03-24-2006


Message 219 of 540 (508301)
05-12-2009 8:46 AM
Reply to: Message 217 by subbie
05-12-2009 12:25 AM


Re: This sums it up nicely.....
pst...don't tell the fundies lady liberty and lady justice are married! I wouldn't want to see them explode.

Then again...


This message is a reply to:
 Message 217 by subbie, posted 05-12-2009 12:25 AM subbie has not yet responded

  
Dr Adequate
Member
Posts: 16104
Joined: 07-20-2006


Message 220 of 540 (508390)
05-13-2009 2:16 AM


Elephant's Wings
A little parable from Pharyngula.

Thugpreacha
Member
Posts: 12803
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


Message 221 of 540 (509067)
05-18-2009 11:31 AM


Spanish Class
This was in an email to me:
A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'
'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'

A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two
groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2 The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself
spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4.. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.


Replies to this message:
 Message 223 by RAZD, posted 05-20-2009 10:28 PM Thugpreacha has not yet responded

Taz
Member (Idle past 1549 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 222 of 540 (509350)
05-20-2009 5:20 PM


For those who sing in church, beat this.


RAZD
Member
Posts: 20115
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004
Member Rating: 3.7


Message 223 of 540 (509372)
05-20-2009 10:28 PM
Reply to: Message 221 by Thugpreacha
05-18-2009 11:31 AM


Re: Spanish Class
The women won.

Except that women never make a mistake, and like a computer when there is a problem it is the operator (male's) fault ...


This message is a reply to:
 Message 221 by Thugpreacha, posted 05-18-2009 11:31 AM Thugpreacha has not yet responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 224 by onifre, posted 05-20-2009 10:41 PM RAZD has acknowledged this reply

onifre
Member (Idle past 1209 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 224 of 540 (509375)
05-20-2009 10:41 PM
Reply to: Message 223 by RAZD
05-20-2009 10:28 PM


Las mujeres estan loca...
Except that women never make a mistake, and like a computer when there is a problem it is the operator (male's) fault ...

Wait, I remember reading a story about a woman who made the mistake of eating from the wrong tree. There was a pretty huge penalty for that, I think...what was it again? Oh yeah, God hates us now forever.

Fuck'n chicks...

No offense, SammyJean. :D

- Oni

Edited by onifre, : No reason given.


"I smoke pot. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your mouth."--Bill Hicks

"I never knew there was another option other than to question everything"--Noam Chomsky


This message is a reply to:
 Message 223 by RAZD, posted 05-20-2009 10:28 PM RAZD has acknowledged this reply

  
Percy
Member
Posts: 18842
From: New Hampshire
Joined: 12-23-2000
Member Rating: 2.5


Message 225 of 540 (509736)
05-24-2009 9:33 AM


If Egyptians had Blackberries...

  
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