You're either straight, gay, or lying?

Petro, don't be silly! Total hedonism has no consequence whatsoever... Rahvin told me so, so it therefore has to be true.

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"An idealist believes the short run doesn't count. A cynic believes the long run doesn't matter. A realist believes that what is done or left undone in the short run determines the long run." --Sydney J. Harris--

Ok, first settle down pertofuck.I was married at the age of 19, had my first daughter at 21, second daughter at 23. Btw, this was after serving my country as a US. Marine - graduated from Parris Island, 1st Battalion, Platton 1025 (in case you need some evidence).I was married for 7 years and got divorced. To this day their mother and I are friends, we even go on vacation together with the kids.After that I was single for a while and had casual sex, like a normal dude.Meet a girl soon after, got engaged and that one I'll admit I fucked up. I was already a full time comic and the road gets lonely. I don't expect you to understand that, but then again, how does that saying go? "Walk a mile in my shoes", or something like that?When that was over I enjoyed casual sex, like a normal dude.My kids aren't scattered around, with different women (not that I personally have a problem with people who do). I don't live in NYC, the meca of comedy, so I can be 10 minutes away from my daughters.I sacrifice a lot for them. I never make a decision without them in mind, or their feelings in mind. So for you to question me as a parent, something far more personal than I ever thought someone would bring up on this site, is very insulting. At a very deep level.But I got tough skin, petro. I'm on the road 15-20 days of the month, dealing with assholes, dick heads, cock suckers, mother fuckers, pussy ass punk bitches, who, when confronted face to face, back down like a bunch a cunts - so I've dealt with peolpe like you before, and I have never been fazed by it.So, I respect your opinion of me, but since I know that you don't know me, it really isn't an opinion of anything. I don't even know what this means. RAZD hasn't shown that he is bothered by anything I've said and has responded back so I'm assuming he's appreciating the exchange. But, I'd be happy to admit that I'm full of shit, this is still for fun, right? I don't need to, they look just like me. Them and I in NYC for ChristmasWell then I'm blessed because they're great. From my kids and I, Go fuck yourself. - OniEdited by onifre, : No reason given.Edited by onifre, : No reason given.

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Petition to Bailout Comedy The Laugh Factory is imploring Congress to immediately fund what owner Jamie Masada calls an "Economic Cheer-Up." If Congress fails to act quickly, the Laugh Factory comedians are planning to march to Washington and plea to President Obama.

I've worked with DL. Hughley, Jimmy Fallon, got to meet George Carlin before he died, I've performed on the same stage as Andy Kaufman, performed for the Troops (in the US), been in 4 indie film (1 of which was featured at the International Film Festival Stand Up -IMDB - Oni Perez - IMDB), written 2 screen plays, a sitcom pilot; I travel to beautiful places, stay in great hotels and make enough money to support my family...What the fuck sucks about my life? What this is based on is your complete and total fuck'n ignorance. I make people laugh for a living you depressing, self-righteous prick.- OniEdited by onifre, : Added IMDB link in case I was doubted on the film.

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Petition to Bailout Comedy The Laugh Factory is imploring Congress to immediately fund what owner Jamie Masada calls an "Economic Cheer-Up." If Congress fails to act quickly, the Laugh Factory comedians are planning to march to Washington and plea to President Obama.

You know, I actually find myself leaning more toward petro than you. I think the only thing missing in him is tolerance.I'll come right out and say that I do find the idea of casual sex repulsive. May be it's a left over from my fundie days. I can't help feeling disgusted by your choice of life style.This is why I don't have any problem with people being disgusted by the idea of man to man-ass sex. I know they can't help themselves. I am, however, bothered by their intolerance of other people's personal choices. Even though I'm disgusted by how you go through life like that, I also feel that whatever floats your boat is fine with me.At the same time, I do have have a problem with people popping out babies they don't even know who the fathers are. Getting involved in loveless relationships is one thing. Bringing a child into a loveless situatino is another.I'm not necessarily referring to your situation. But I do know single moms who thought those guys that claimed to love them forever but then ran away after they got pregnant. Being liberal and tolerant is one thing. Being tolerant of irresponsibility and stupidity is another. As if we don't have enough orphans in the system already...

Yea, but what do you know about it? Yea, but what do you know about it? You're disgusted by casual sex, but cool with ass-sex? Damn let me write that down. What about casual ass-sex? Would you be on the fence on that one?Weren't you a virgin before marriage, you're still married, right? One sexual partner, thats it, right? You're not disgusted by casual sex, you're envious of those who have it and you make up this "disgusted" bullshit to justify it to yourself that "you don't like it". But you're a man, you know you do. Deep down you know you do, you just can't get it so you play this "me no likie" crap. Save it, Taz, because I don't believe you at all. Perhaps you were just never the type that was good with the ladies. Don't hate biatch 'cause I gets the booty on a regular basis. Go enjoy sober missionary sex you wild man you. Agreed Oh, I know that. The girl I was engaged with was a single mom. The guy she was married to, and divorced, never saw the kids, so I agree with you 100%.- Oni

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Petition to Bailout Comedy The Laugh Factory is imploring Congress to immediately fund what owner Jamie Masada calls an "Economic Cheer-Up." If Congress fails to act quickly, the Laugh Factory comedians are planning to march to Washington and plea to President Obama.

Damn hecklers... Your story just reminded me of an awesome documentary that you being a stand-up comic were sure to have seen: Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy Show!

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"An idealist believes the short run doesn't count. A cynic believes the long run doesn't matter. A realist believes that what is done or left undone in the short run determines the long run." --Sydney J. Harris--

Lol - Speaking of which, check out the movie "The Heckler". I have, great movie.Those guys are cool people. I've worked and hung out plenty with Sebastian M. and Bret Ernst.

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Petition to Bailout Comedy The Laugh Factory is imploring Congress to immediately fund what owner Jamie Masada calls an "Economic Cheer-Up." If Congress fails to act quickly, the Laugh Factory comedians are planning to march to Washington and plea to President Obama.

Those were easily two of my favorite one's. Bret Ernst and "Tony" the skater... I thought I read somewhere that you were from Miami? Tell me that skit doesn't remind you of Hot Wheels...

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"An idealist believes the short run doesn't count. A cynic believes the long run doesn't matter. A realist believes that what is done or left undone in the short run determines the long run." --Sydney J. Harris--

"Here comes Tony!!!"....Holy shit the man knows about Hot Wheels! LmaoActually, Bret grew up in Broward and went to Palmetto High School. Tony, aside from being an Italian name, does actually represent the skaters here in Miami. I don't think it's Hot Wheels specifically but it's about South Fl. And the freestyle music he uses is ALL about South Fl.Brets' a cool guy, too. Doesn't drink or do one drug but will talk your ear off into the early morning hours like he was on coke. Funny dude though.The funniest thing about Sebastian is that after every set he sprays his entire body with AXE body spray before he meets the audience. Weird but funny.- Oni

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Petition to Bailout Comedy The Laugh Factory is imploring Congress to immediately fund what owner Jamie Masada calls an "Economic Cheer-Up." If Congress fails to act quickly, the Laugh Factory comedians are planning to march to Washington and plea to President Obama.

Yeah, sure, I used to skate there as a kid! That is until I realized how lame it was. Is their a Palmetto High in Broward too? The only one I'm familiar with is in Miami-Dade, way fuckin' south. Yeah, I know... His skit brought back memories about Hot Wheels and god-awful Miami bass and techno. The fact that he gets his underwear pressed and dry cleaned, then hung on a hanger has to have at least a mild form of OCD! But his skits are friggin' hilarious... Absolutely hysterical

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"An idealist believes the short run doesn't count. A cynic believes the long run doesn't matter. A realist believes that what is done or left undone in the short run determines the long run." --Sydney J. Harris--

You may very well be right. That is a possibility. No denial here. Haha that's the point. I don't. It's an irrational feeling. Ok, I just realized how that came out. Good one, I just laughed at what I wrote, too.I'm not disgusted by it, but at the same time I will never ever ever ever ever have man to man-ass sex. I've been meaning to get this "one way only" tattoo for a while now. Haha, again no denial here. I was one of those grumpy nice guys that couldn't get the ladies. I never had the ambition to get their asses. All I wanted was to date them. Someone told me once that perhaps my total lack of ambition was why I never had much luck with them.Any pointer? May be I'll follow Reverend Jackson's example and get a second family...

Much respect for your honesty. Well I can't blame you for that, I have plenty of those, too. Btw, seriously though, casual sex is not that different from monogamy. I will admit, the "love" isn't there, but once it gets down to the get'n down it's all the same.So, to keep it within the scope of science, and what SonGoku was saying, somewhere in our evolution we developed a set of chemicals that activate differently for casual sex and monogamy? I'm just speculating there, btw, but could be possible...? I'm keeping that gem. It would look like a tramp stamp*, though. * tramp stamp, for the older gentelmen in the forum, is the lower back tattoo. Women like confidence. That's a fact. You can get out of a 92 Ford Pinto, if you have the confidence swager you catch attention.Again, back to science, and again I'm just speculating, could this attraction to confidence be something from our non-speaking days? Pre-language? Ouch, he takes a shot at the Rev. Good one. Here's some advice to show off that confidence, sing any lady this "Love Song", major turn on. Chicks love Classic rock. I'm listening to too much Stephen Lynch these days.Ok the song was a joke. No advice be yourself and fuck what people think, dude.- Oni

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Petition to Bailout Comedy The Laugh Factory is imploring Congress to immediately fund what owner Jamie Masada calls an "Economic Cheer-Up." If Congress fails to act quickly, the Laugh Factory comedians are planning to march to Washington and plea to President Obama.

onifre writes:

quote:

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Drugs: heroin, crack-cocaine, cocaine, crystal meth, tylenol, prozac, viagra, etc.

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Plants, belonging to the kingdom Plantae: cannabis, coca, ferns, moss, etc.

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We can call it whatever we want, but a drug it is not, it's a plant that's deemed illegal - for some reason?

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Um, by your logic, then, neither heroin nor cocaine is a drug as both are derived from plants. You even make mention of this in your list of plants: Coca.Are you about to say that the refining of the active ingredient somehow makes it something other than a plant?Does that make honey and sugar a "drug"? Does salicylic acid become something other than a "drug" when you extract it from bark as tea as opposed to chemically producing it in a vat and making a pill?Why does it matter where the chemical comes from?

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Rrhain

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Thank you for your submission to Science. Your paper was reviewed by a jury of seventh graders so that they could look for balance and to allow them to make up their own minds. We are sorry to say that they found your paper "bogus," specifically describing the section on the laboratory work "boring." We regret that we will be unable to publish your work at this time.

My logic? I simply called it for what it was. Cannabis is a plant. Coca is a plant. Heroin and cocaine are not pure. They are blended with other ingredients.I said nothing about "derived from". I'm talking about in its pure state. Cannabis: Plant. Coca: Plant. Yes...it makes it a drug.Cannabis is a plant. Coca is a plant. Coca leaves, all though do boost your energy similar to actual cocaine, is still just a leaf and not a drug. Both herion and coke are cut and blended with other ingredients. No. But if you find a way to trip off honey or sugar let me know. What chemical is extracted from cannabis?Also, this is just in the US. In South and Central America, while cocaine is illegal, coca leaves are not. Why? Because coca leaves are not a drug, they are leaves.Marijuana is pure, it's the bud from a flower. That I found alternate uses for it besides making Woody Harrelson a pair of pants does nothing to change the purity of the plant. Same goes for coca leaves and shrooms. Cocaine, heroin, extacy, meth, LSD, crack cocaine, etc. are not pure and have many other ingredients (this is what usually makes them bad for you), that alter the purity of whatever plant they were derived from.Cannabis, Coca, Shrooms, as defined by science, are plants, but as defined by the douchbags in Washington, are a drug.Choose which ever you feel sides with your opinion of it better...I choose science.-OniEdited by onifre, : No reason given.

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Petition to Bailout Comedy The Laugh Factory is imploring Congress to immediately fund what owner Jamie Masada calls an "Economic Cheer-Up." If Congress fails to act quickly, the Laugh Factory comedians are planning to march to Washington and plea to President Obama.

I noticed you are silent about my life now...curiously, where is all that experience, what was it, 60 years or so? Your friend is an idoit.This is based on 33 years of experience where I have seen the result of your friends stupidity.I am not a bible believer, my opinion of your friends idiocy is based on my actual observation of the world and the problems people like your friend cause for others, like myself, who don't get lured in like fools by the lies of any woman.Maybe if your friend wasn't so gullible, lame, or had such low self esteem - (or needing of female companionship so badly to replaced that tired hand that was working overtime) - he wouldn't have been so stupid in the first place, and would have applied some common sense to the situation.- Oni

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Petition to Bailout Comedy The Laugh Factory is imploring Congress to immediately fund what owner Jamie Masada calls an "Economic Cheer-Up." If Congress fails to act quickly, the Laugh Factory comedians are planning to march to Washington and plea to President Obama.