Hi Taz - first off, I'm really sorry for your loss. I lost my best friend six years ago, and it still hurts like hell when I think about it.
Ten years ago I had just about lost* all of my Christian faith. I was pushing a cave when I became separated from my line. I made desperate attempts to locate it, but with zero visibility, complex passageway, and rapidly dwindling gas, after about 30 minutes it became obvious that I was not going to get out.
Over about ten minutes I contemplated my life and came to the conclusion that it had been pretty damn good: I'd achieved several dreams, and accomplished quite a bit; if I had to go now, I couldn't really complain. At no point did I pray, beg, or think about a forthcoming judgement. My overriding emotion was embarassment that I had been stupid enough to be caught out like this. It was embarassment that forced me to go out fighting rather than just accept it calmly, and that's why I'm here to type this
Losing my best friend, a fellow cave-diver, was tough. I desperately wish he was around, but I don't ever think about seeing him in some kind of afterlife - I just enjoy the memories, knowing that he lived a very full life.
*several years later, on the back of a very difficult period of my life, I regained my faith for a while. It was during this time that I discovered EvC, which inevitably led to my currently evolving state towards atheist.