Hi, Phat.
I think you know how well I can sympathize with you. I've been trying to ride the fence since I started here (I am gradually creeping away from the traditional views of Christianity as I go, though).
I no longer like to be associated with many religious communities, conventions and ideas. The entire religious atmosphere feels stifling and stagnant, and the learning processes I am taught and expected to subscribe to simply do not make sense to me.
But I still feel that there is some important modicum of truth to my religion, despite the fact that I can't seem to tell what it is. For that reason (and to maintain the harmony and acceptance of my family), I hang on.
Also, the mythology of my religion seems to be getting less and less plausible to me every day, such that I am essentially uninterested in it anymore beyond its significance as a celebration of my traditional culture.
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If there is one thing that I have learned from science, it's that there is uncertainty in literally everything. Stepping away from my religious heritage and into the world of rational inquiry often makes me confused and scared, because I can never be sure whether an idea makes sense to me because it is a strong argument, or simply because the presenter is a good debator. I can also never tell whether a certain scientist actually has good data, or whether he is simply adhering to his pet theory, in which he has staked his reputation (these thing do happen quite often).
The uncertainty is nerve-racking for someone who has been raised to believe in the existence of certainty, perfection and Truth
TM. Occasionally, when the tentativity of science makes me dizzy, I feel that it's necessary to retreat back to my religion. At other times, I feel empowered by my education to work out solutions on my own. Only when I feel like the solution is too difficult for me do I feel like I need to be religious again.
But, my religion just makes me sad anymore, because believing in God only feels like giving up.
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Basically, Phat, you're not alone.
Tell me, what is it that you believe is correct and true about Jesus and His mission on Earth? Which parts of His story do you find indispensable?
-Bluejay (a.k.a. Mantis, Thylacosmilus)
Darwin loves you.
™ Version 4.2
