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Author Topic:   Humor IV
Minnemooseus
Member
Posts: 3709
From: Duluth, Minnesota, U.S. (West end of Lake Superior)
Joined: 11-11-2001
Member Rating: 7.9


Message 271 of 540 (519294)
08-13-2009 12:12 AM


Thankfully Stephen Hawking has good American health care
quote:
Which the editorial board of Investors Business Daily obviously is, as they allowed this to be printed on their pages.

People such as scientist Stephen Hawking wouldn't have a chance in the U.K., where the National Health Service would say the life of this brilliant man, because of his physical handicaps, is essentially worthless.

Perhaps they don't have access to the Internets at Investors Business Daily, because even Wikipedia will tell you that Hawking is British, lives in Britain, and has lived to the age of 67 there, and was diagnosed with ALS under, and treated by the National Health Service for his entire adult life. They must have just been fooled by his voice synthesizer's American accent.


A little more at the source.

The editorial in question has since been corrected, or something like that.

Moose


Replies to this message:
 Message 272 by cavediver, posted 08-13-2009 5:42 AM Minnemooseus has responded

  
cavediver
Member (Idle past 1752 days)
Posts: 4129
From: UK
Joined: 06-16-2005


Message 272 of 540 (519310)
08-13-2009 5:42 AM
Reply to: Message 271 by Minnemooseus
08-13-2009 12:12 AM


Re: Thankfully Stephen Hawking has good American health care
If it wasn't for Addenbrookes, he would have died umpteen times over by now...

But at least that article gets his damn name right - wish more could be said for your president

US honours Poitier, Tutu and Hawking


This message is a reply to:
 Message 271 by Minnemooseus, posted 08-13-2009 12:12 AM Minnemooseus has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 273 by Minnemooseus, posted 08-13-2009 6:15 AM cavediver has not yet responded

Minnemooseus
Member
Posts: 3709
From: Duluth, Minnesota, U.S. (West end of Lake Superior)
Joined: 11-11-2001
Member Rating: 7.9


Message 273 of 540 (519311)
08-13-2009 6:15 AM
Reply to: Message 272 by cavediver
08-13-2009 5:42 AM


But why can't the BBC correctly pronounce the "a" at the end of names?
I'm not sure which is worse, Barack Obamer or the Dali Lamer.

I wonder how they pronounce "Sidney Poitier"?

Yes, I often listen to the beeb late nights/early mornings here in the colonies. It's on National Public Radio.

Moose

ps: Don't have speakers on the computer I'm using right now, but I'll take your word about it.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 272 by cavediver, posted 08-13-2009 5:42 AM cavediver has not yet responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 274 by Percy, posted 08-13-2009 8:26 AM Minnemooseus has not yet responded

  
Percy
Member
Posts: 18374
From: New Hampshire
Joined: 12-23-2000
Member Rating: 4.9


Message 274 of 540 (519326)
08-13-2009 8:26 AM
Reply to: Message 273 by Minnemooseus
08-13-2009 6:15 AM


Re: But why can't the BBC correctly pronounce the "a" at the end of names?
Minnemooseus writes:

I'm not sure which is worse, Barack Obamer or the Dali Lamer.

I wonder how they pronounce "Sidney Poitier"?

The British may be different, but my father's speech had many of the characteristics of the full blown Boston Brahmin accent. He definitely said "Dali Lamer," as well as "Rusher," "Aisher" and "Chiner," and would have said "Barack Obamer," too. We had endless fun with his accent, often trying to work words into the conversation that morphed into words with different meanings when he spoke them. But he definitely pronounced "Sidney Poitier" correctly.

--Percy


This message is a reply to:
 Message 273 by Minnemooseus, posted 08-13-2009 6:15 AM Minnemooseus has not yet responded

  
onifre
Member (Idle past 1060 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 275 of 540 (519505)
08-14-2009 9:51 AM


Louis Ck learns about the Catholic church.

Enjoy,

- Oni


If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
~George Carlin
  
Modulous
Member (Idle past 213 days)
Posts: 7789
From: Manchester, UK
Joined: 05-01-2005


Message 276 of 540 (520064)
08-19-2009 7:53 AM


Non sequiturs
I've not got much time for gardening,
I've got no spades or diggers or hoses.
I've got a pair of non sequiturs
Which I use for not pruning the roses.

If somebody says I should trim the hedge,
Or cut down my Canterbury Bells,
I just produce my non sequiturs
And we talk about something else.

They've got handles that aren't really solid
But that doesn't mean that they're hollow.
With them being non sequiturs,
It doesn't automatically follow.

People sometimes admire them,
They're a big talking point over tea.
They'll say "What a nice pair of non sequiturs!",
And what can I say but, "Dundee".

They might answer that with "Thursday.",
But some people say what they think.
They come straight out with "Plantagenet.".
I just point at the grass and say "Pink!"

People say that my garden has gone wild,
I'll go along with that - I'm quite affable.
I'll go down the path with my non sequiturs
And immediately not prune a daffodil.

The handles I leave in the garden,
The blades are hung up in the hall.
I might not use one or the other,
They're not connected at all.

They're not just for not pruning roses,
I've not used them for far more than that.
I don't use them for plucking my eyebrows,
I've not used them to neuter the cat.

Some people can't see the logic,
Some people think they're irrelevant.
But I've got this pair of non sequiturs,
What can I say? Elephant!

-- Les Barker (transcribed from a spoken poem, so grammar may be off)


rueh
Member (Idle past 1770 days)
Posts: 382
From: universal city tx
Joined: 03-03-2008


Message 277 of 540 (522297)
09-02-2009 11:42 AM


#2 Pencil
The value of a Catholic education and a #2 pencil

Little Susie was not the best student in Catholic School . Usually she slept through the class.

One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping.

'Tell me Susie, who created the universe?'

When Susie didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, Took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.

'God Almighty!' shouted Susie.

The Nun said, 'Very good' and continued teaching her class.

A little later the Nun asked Susie, 'Who is our Lord and Savior?'

But Susie didn't stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to her Rescue and stuck her in the butt.

'Jesus Christ!!!' shouted Susie.

And the Nun once again said, 'Very good,' and Susie fell back asleep.

The Nun asked her a third question...'What did Eve say to Adam after she had Her twenty-third child?'

Again, Johnny came to the rescue. This time Susie jumped up and shouted, 'If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'

Edited by rueh, : No reason given.


'Qui non intelligit, aut taceat, aut discat'
The mind is like a parachute. It only works when it is open.-FZ
The industrial revolution, flipped a bitch on evolution.-NOFX
Taz
Member (Idle past 1401 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 278 of 540 (523968)
09-13-2009 6:10 PM


Carrier pigeons versus email
Pigeon post faster than internet

quote:
A South African IT company has proved it is faster to transmit data via a carrier pigeon than to send it using the country's leading internet service provider.

Internet speed and connectivity in Africa's largest economy are poor because of a bandwidth shortage. It is also expensive.

Local news agency SAPA reported the 11-month-old pigeon, Winston, took one hour and eight minutes to fly the 80km from Unlimited IT's offices near Pietermaritzburg to the coastal city of Durban with a data card s strapped to his leg.

Including downloading, the transfer took two hours, six minutes and 57 seconds - the time it took for only four percent of the data to be transferred using a line from Telkom, the country's leading internet service provider.


And you thought your internet was slow?


Replies to this message:
 Message 279 by Minnemooseus, posted 09-13-2009 11:48 PM Taz has not yet responded
 Message 280 by Modulous, posted 09-14-2009 4:07 AM Taz has not yet responded

Minnemooseus
Member
Posts: 3709
From: Duluth, Minnesota, U.S. (West end of Lake Superior)
Joined: 11-11-2001
Member Rating: 7.9


Message 279 of 540 (523991)
09-13-2009 11:48 PM
Reply to: Message 278 by Taz
09-13-2009 6:10 PM


Re: Carrier pigeons versus email
Wasn't it referred to as "leather netting", when you would transfer data by walking a floppy from one computer to another?

Now they have "feather netting".

Moose


This message is a reply to:
 Message 278 by Taz, posted 09-13-2009 6:10 PM Taz has not yet responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 281 by DevilsAdvocate, posted 09-14-2009 5:21 AM Minnemooseus has not yet responded

  
Modulous
Member (Idle past 213 days)
Posts: 7789
From: Manchester, UK
Joined: 05-01-2005


Message 280 of 540 (524001)
09-14-2009 4:07 AM
Reply to: Message 278 by Taz
09-13-2009 6:10 PM


Re: Carrier pigeons versus email
A missing piece of data is how much data was being transferred. I've had plenty of downloads take longer than an hour. It is a great stunt though, gotta give them 10 points for style. They should call their new ISP "Winston's Web".
This message is a reply to:
 Message 278 by Taz, posted 09-13-2009 6:10 PM Taz has not yet responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 282 by kjsimons, posted 09-14-2009 10:17 AM Modulous has acknowledged this reply

DevilsAdvocate
Member (Idle past 1210 days)
Posts: 1548
Joined: 06-05-2008


Message 281 of 540 (524006)
09-14-2009 5:21 AM
Reply to: Message 279 by Minnemooseus
09-13-2009 11:48 PM


Re: Carrier pigeons versus email
Moose writes:

Wasn't it referred to as "leather netting", when you would transfer data by walking a floppy from one computer to another?

Also called the "sneaker net".


This message is a reply to:
 Message 279 by Minnemooseus, posted 09-13-2009 11:48 PM Minnemooseus has not yet responded

kjsimons
Member
Posts: 665
From: Orlando,FL
Joined: 06-17-2003


Message 282 of 540 (524068)
09-14-2009 10:17 AM
Reply to: Message 280 by Modulous
09-14-2009 4:07 AM


Re: Carrier pigeons versus email
According to other new reports it was a 4 gig memory card carried by the pigeon.

Homing Piegeon Faster Than Internet


This message is a reply to:
 Message 280 by Modulous, posted 09-14-2009 4:07 AM Modulous has acknowledged this reply

Replies to this message:
 Message 283 by dwise1, posted 09-14-2009 10:46 AM kjsimons has not yet responded

dwise1
Member
Posts: 3405
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 8.6


Message 283 of 540 (524073)
09-14-2009 10:46 AM
Reply to: Message 282 by kjsimons
09-14-2009 10:17 AM


Re: Carrier pigeons versus email
Where have you guys been? There's been an Internet standard for "IP over Avian Carriers with Quality of Service" since 1999: RFC 2549 at http://www.faqs.org/rfcs/rfc2549.html
This message is a reply to:
 Message 282 by kjsimons, posted 09-14-2009 10:17 AM kjsimons has not yet responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 284 by Percy, posted 09-14-2009 11:28 AM dwise1 has responded

  
Percy
Member
Posts: 18374
From: New Hampshire
Joined: 12-23-2000
Member Rating: 4.9


Message 284 of 540 (524080)
09-14-2009 11:28 AM
Reply to: Message 283 by dwise1
09-14-2009 10:46 AM


Re: Carrier pigeons versus email
dwise1 writes:

Where have you guys been? There's been an Internet standard for "IP over Avian Carriers with Quality of Service" since 1999: RFC 2549 at http://www.faqs.org/rfcs/rfc2549.html

The author of the proposal was employed by Ironbridge Networks, which went bankrupt way back in 2001. The practical feasibility of IPOAC must be seriously questioned.

--Percy


This message is a reply to:
 Message 283 by dwise1, posted 09-14-2009 10:46 AM dwise1 has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 285 by dwise1, posted 09-14-2009 12:54 PM Percy has acknowledged this reply

  
dwise1
Member
Posts: 3405
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 8.6


Message 285 of 540 (524094)
09-14-2009 12:54 PM
Reply to: Message 284 by Percy
09-14-2009 11:28 AM


Re: Carrier pigeons versus email
The risk of being ahead of one's time.
This message is a reply to:
 Message 284 by Percy, posted 09-14-2009 11:28 AM Percy has acknowledged this reply

  
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