Message 276 of 540 (520064)
08-19-2009 7:53 AM
I've not got much time for gardening,
I've got no spades or diggers or hoses.
I've got a pair of non sequiturs
Which I use for not pruning the roses.
If somebody says I should trim the hedge,
Or cut down my Canterbury Bells,
I just produce my non sequiturs
And we talk about something else.
They've got handles that aren't really solid
But that doesn't mean that they're hollow.
With them being non sequiturs,
It doesn't automatically follow.
People sometimes admire them,
They're a big talking point over tea.
They'll say "What a nice pair of non sequiturs!",
And what can I say but, "Dundee".
They might answer that with "Thursday.",
But some people say what they think.
They come straight out with "Plantagenet.".
I just point at the grass and say "Pink!"
People say that my garden has gone wild,
I'll go along with that - I'm quite affable.
I'll go down the path with my non sequiturs
And immediately not prune a daffodil.
The handles I leave in the garden,
The blades are hung up in the hall.
I might not use one or the other,
They're not connected at all.
They're not just for not pruning roses,
I've not used them for far more than that.
I don't use them for plucking my eyebrows,
I've not used them to neuter the cat.
Some people can't see the logic,
Some people think they're irrelevant.
But I've got this pair of non sequiturs,
What can I say? Elephant!
-- Les Barker (transcribed from a spoken poem, so grammar may be off)