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Author Topic:   Humor IV
Taz
Member (Idle past 1432 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 294 of 540 (525587)
09-23-2009 9:41 PM
Reply to: Message 291 by Theodoric
09-23-2009 12:46 PM


Re: Neil deGrasse Tyson is hilarious
Humor aside, Tyson made a very strong argument on why intelligent design is dangerous for science in the following segment.

"Science is a philosophy of discovery, intelligent design is a philosophy of ignorance."

He spent about 8 minutes pointing out how intelligent design (not just the current modern movement) has affected the most brilliant minds in the history of science and has probably delayed progress by several centuries.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 291 by Theodoric, posted 09-23-2009 12:46 PM Theodoric has not yet responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 299 by Modulous, posted 09-24-2009 9:07 AM Taz has not yet responded

Taz
Member (Idle past 1432 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 298 of 540 (525625)
09-24-2009 12:24 AM
Reply to: Message 296 by NosyNed
09-23-2009 10:18 PM


Re: Neil deGrasse Tyson is hilarious
Ned the Nose writes:

I don't think his delivery is good at all.


Why not?
This message is a reply to:
 Message 296 by NosyNed, posted 09-23-2009 10:18 PM NosyNed has not yet responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 300 by Theodoric, posted 09-24-2009 9:54 AM Taz has not yet responded

Taz
Member (Idle past 1432 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 305 of 540 (526065)
09-25-2009 6:41 PM
Reply to: Message 304 by NosyNed
09-24-2009 11:30 PM


Re: Tyson at his funniest IMO
Ned the Nose writes:

Just don't ask me to describe why I distinguish between the two.


Why do you distinguish between the two?
This message is a reply to:
 Message 304 by NosyNed, posted 09-24-2009 11:30 PM NosyNed has not yet responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 306 by onifre, posted 09-25-2009 11:25 PM Taz has responded

Taz
Member (Idle past 1432 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 309 of 540 (526350)
09-26-2009 8:09 PM
Reply to: Message 306 by onifre
09-25-2009 11:25 PM


Re: Tyson at his funniest IMO
Now I know a comic can't tell the difference between a question and a rhetorical question.
This message is a reply to:
 Message 306 by onifre, posted 09-25-2009 11:25 PM onifre has responded

Replies to this message:
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Taz
Member (Idle past 1432 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


(1)
Message 315 of 540 (529762)
10-10-2009 11:38 AM


You get what you pay for
Adam was hanging around the garden of Eden feeling very lonely.

So, God asked him, "What's wrong with you, my child?"

Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.

Thinking about it for a moment, God said that He was going to make Adam a companionn and that it would be a woman.

God said, "This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash them for you. She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you. She will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will praise you. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it."

Adam asked God, "What will a woman like this cost?"

"An arm and a leg," God replied.

Then Adam asked, "What can I get for a rib?"

Of course the rest is history...........


Replies to this message:
 Message 316 by roxrkool, posted 10-10-2009 6:30 PM Taz has not yet responded
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Taz
Member (Idle past 1432 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 323 of 540 (530485)
10-13-2009 5:40 PM
Reply to: Message 322 by onifre
10-11-2009 11:31 AM


Re: You get what you pay for
onifre writes:

Ann Coulter I think actually has a penis.


And I thought I was the only one that ever had that thought.
This message is a reply to:
 Message 322 by onifre, posted 10-11-2009 11:31 AM onifre has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 324 by onifre, posted 10-13-2009 6:42 PM Taz has not yet responded

Taz
Member (Idle past 1432 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 330 of 540 (531975)
10-20-2009 5:58 PM


Before I post the following joke of the day, please please please keep in mind that I have a clear conscience that I AM NOT A RACIST IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM AND THAT I DON'T AGREE WITH ANYTHING THE FOLLOWING POEM HAS TO SAY. That said, I got a really good laugh out of it simply because of the cleverness put into it. I actually found myself reading it in rhythm. And it rhymes!

quote:

I cross ocean,
poor and broke,
Take bus,
see employment folk.
Nice man treat me
good in there,
Say I need to
see welfare.

Welfare say,
"You come no more,
We send cash
right to your door."

Welfare checks,
they make you wealthy,
Medicaid it keep
you healthy!

By and by,
I got plenty money,
Thanks to you,
American dummy.

Write to friends
in motherland,
Tell them 'come
fast as you can.'

They come in turbans
and Ford trucks,
I buy big house
with welfare bucks

They come here,
we live together,
More welfare checks,
it gets better!

Fourteen families,
they moving in,
But neighbor's patience wearing thin.

Finally, American guy
moves away,
Now I buy his house,
and then I say,

"Find more aliens
for house to rent."
And in the yard
I put a tent.

Send for family
they just trash,
But they, too,
draw the welfare cash!

Everything is
very good,
And soon we
own the neighborhood.

We have hobby --
it's called breeding,
Welfare pay
for baby feeding.

Kids need dentist?
Wife need pills?
We get free!
We got no bills!

American crazy!
He pay all year,
To keep welfare
running here.

We think America
darn good place!
Too darn good for
the American race.

If they no like us,
they can scram,
Got lots of room in
Pakistan.


Added by edit.

Apparently, it was written by councillor Ellenor Bland, a Tory. Here is the original version about the UK.

quote:
I cross ocean poor and broke
Take bus, see employment folk.
Nice man treat me good in there.
Say I need to see welfare.
Welfare say, "You come no more, we send cash right to your door."
Welfare cheques - they make you wealthy! NHS - it keep you healthy!
By and by, I got plenty money.
Thanks to you, British dummy!
Write to friends in motherland.
Tell them "come fast as you can".
They come in turbans and Ford trucks.
I buy big house with welfare bucks!
They come here, we live together.
More welfare cheques, it gets better!
Fourteen families, they moving in, but neighbour's patience wearing thin.
Finally, white guy moves away.
Now I buy his house, then I say,
"Find more aliens for house to rent."
And in the yard I put a tent.
Everything is very good, and soon we own the neighbourhood.
We have hobby, it's called breeding. Welfare pay for baby feeding.
Kids need dentist? Wife need pills? We get free! We got no bills!
Britain crazy! They pay all year, to keep welfare running here.
We think UK darn good place.
Too darn good for the white man race!
If they no like us, they can scram.
Got lots of room in Pakistan!

Edit again. My apology. Ellenor Bland didn't write this, although she was removed from the list of candidates for forwarding the email LOL! What a dumbass!

Edited by Taz, : No reason given.

Edited by Taz, : No reason given.


Taz
Member (Idle past 1432 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 331 of 540 (532204)
10-22-2009 12:56 AM



Taz
Member (Idle past 1432 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 359 of 540 (536710)
11-24-2009 3:47 PM


They forgot about the sun when they put up this wall

Edited by Taz, : No reason given.


Replies to this message:
 Message 360 by bluescat48, posted 11-24-2009 10:50 PM Taz has not yet responded

Taz
Member (Idle past 1432 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 367 of 540 (538346)
12-05-2009 9:59 PM


Nuclear explosion

Edited by Taz, : No reason given.


Taz
Member (Idle past 1432 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 378 of 540 (539920)
12-20-2009 3:46 PM
Reply to: Message 374 by onifre
12-20-2009 12:56 PM


Re: Onifre?
onifre writes:

I don't like to watch myself, nor do I like posting videos on youtube. I'm weird about things like that.


I know how you feel. I was involved in a shooting some months ago that caused the life of a buddy of mine in the department and left me covered in his blood. When the vultures showed up (aka the press), I was dodging like hell trying not to appear in any news outlet. I still moan for the loss of one of my colleagues, but I am happy as hell that the only mention of me in the press was "a friend" when they wrote about the fallen officer. I tried to yank every chain I could to keep my name from being released.

Anyway, for some reason, I've always thought your avatar was you. Who's that if it's not you?


This message is a reply to:
 Message 374 by onifre, posted 12-20-2009 12:56 PM onifre has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 381 by onifre, posted 12-20-2009 4:16 PM Taz has not yet responded

Taz
Member (Idle past 1432 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 379 of 540 (539921)
12-20-2009 3:47 PM
Reply to: Message 377 by Brian
12-20-2009 2:54 PM


Re: Onifre?
Brian writes:

Danny is very funny, although he does alienate some of his potential audiences with the spelling of his surname.


Call me dense, but why?
This message is a reply to:
 Message 377 by Brian, posted 12-20-2009 2:54 PM Brian has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 382 by Brian, posted 12-20-2009 4:54 PM Taz has responded

Taz
Member (Idle past 1432 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 383 of 540 (539933)
12-20-2009 6:32 PM
Reply to: Message 382 by Brian
12-20-2009 4:54 PM


Re: Oh Bhoy!
Haha, I get it now. Sort of like the surnames Gay, Black, White, etc.
This message is a reply to:
 Message 382 by Brian, posted 12-20-2009 4:54 PM Brian has not yet responded

Taz
Member (Idle past 1432 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 394 of 540 (542541)
01-10-2010 3:26 PM
Reply to: Message 391 by hooah212002
01-10-2010 11:52 AM


Re: This HAS to be a joke?
Haha, this is precious.

quote:
MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES!
Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part.

Edit.

By the way, is the following article for real? I can't tell if it's for real or a parody.

The G-spot 'doesn't appear to exist', say researchers

Edited by Taz, : No reason given.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 391 by hooah212002, posted 01-10-2010 11:52 AM hooah212002 has acknowledged this reply

Replies to this message:
 Message 396 by onifre, posted 01-10-2010 10:45 PM Taz has responded

Taz
Member (Idle past 1432 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 397 of 540 (542577)
01-11-2010 12:27 AM
Reply to: Message 396 by onifre
01-10-2010 10:45 PM


Re: This HAS to be a joke?
They've been faking it right in front of our noses all this time.
This message is a reply to:
 Message 396 by onifre, posted 01-10-2010 10:45 PM onifre has not yet responded

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