Register | Sign In


Understanding through Discussion


EvC Forum active members: 64 (9164 total)
4 online now:
Newest Member: ChatGPT
Post Volume: Total: 916,865 Year: 4,122/9,624 Month: 993/974 Week: 320/286 Day: 41/40 Hour: 7/6


Thread  Details

Email This Thread
Newer Topic | Older Topic
  
Author Topic:   Daddy, is God real?
Stile
Member
Posts: 4295
From: Ontario, Canada
Joined: 12-02-2004


Message 7 of 34 (532409)
10-23-2009 8:20 AM
Reply to: Message 1 by Briterican
10-22-2009 7:27 PM


Honest intellectual development
*Obligatory I am not a parent disclaimer...*
Briterican writes:
At the moment I intend to address questions on such matters with a non-commital answer: "Lots of people believe different things and nobody knows for sure". I find this unsatisfying, but wonder if it isn't simply the best answer at this age.
I don't see the problem with this answer. It's the truth. I agree that it's unsatisfying, but I would agree that it is the best answer to give.
1. It's the truth. This is very important (to me.. which is subjective). Your child will never look back and wonder "why did Daddy not tell me the truth?" or "why did Daddy sugar-coat and hide things from me?" Sure, the explanation can be "because Daddy loves you and wants to protect you" but I prefer the explanation of "Daddy loves you so much that he'll tell you the truth in the first place so that you can explore the world at your own pace/level."
2. It's a fact of life that some answers are going to be unsatisfying. Your child is going to run into this sooner or later, it's a normal part of development. It's your choice if you want to "protect your kid's childhood innocence" for as long as possible. But I would rephrase the situation as "allowing your child to develop as quickly/efficiently as they are ready to do so." That is, personally, I think a lot of harm can be done by "protecting a child's innocence." I think a child's progress should be guided by the child themself (for this sort of intellectual-area, anyway). That is, when your kid is asking such questions, it may be a hint that they're ready to handle the answers. Just 'cause you think "a five year old is too young to understand" doesn't mean your child may be very smart for their age. It's my opinion that hiding things from children will only lead to stunting/delaying their development where giving them the truth as they ask for it will help them develop and grow into this world as quickly and easily as they're capable of.
Is "Nobody really knows" a reasonable answer for a 5 year old?
I think it certainly is. Maybe your kid will go "okay!" and run to play with some toys as their attention gets distracted. Maybe your kid will have some more probing follow-up questions. My point is that this development should be at your kid's pace, and not stunted or delayed because you may think "they're not ready" for it yet. But, well, you know your kid a lot better than I do
Would it be going too far to say "I don't think so because x, y, z"?
Right off the bat? Perhaps, yes... a bit too complicated and too far. But the follow-up question of "what do you think, Daddy?" may very well be next. In which case this is a hint that it's time for this more complicated answer. Again, after such an involved answer, your kid my just get bored and want to go play some tag or ring-around-the-rosy or whatever. But, it's also possible that your kid may be very interested, get even more curious, and have more questions. I think it's in your kid's best interest to let your kid guide their own development on such things rather than witholding information because it may be best to "keep them ignorant ('protected' or 'innocent' are nicer words...) of such matters."
Of course, since I have no kids of my own, I cannot fully comprehend what sorts of things go on. And, therefore, I may be completely off-base and giving horrible advice. I'm just putting my opinion out here and you can pick and choose what you'd like from it.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 1 by Briterican, posted 10-22-2009 7:27 PM Briterican has not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 8 by Coragyps, posted 10-23-2009 9:06 AM Stile has replied

  
Stile
Member
Posts: 4295
From: Ontario, Canada
Joined: 12-02-2004


Message 9 of 34 (532413)
10-23-2009 9:34 AM
Reply to: Message 8 by Coragyps
10-23-2009 9:06 AM


A differentiation not to be underestimated
Coragyps writes:
I was a little ambivalent about telling them complete fictions about SC, tTF, and tEB. It didn't harm them to believe in those, though. It did harm my younger son to believe in Christianity, though - he pretty much lost what could have been two years of education by getting immersed in a Southern Baptist cult-like church. And I think that's where the difference lies - our culture expects you to give up on Santa by the age of eight or before, but huge portions of our society will encourage religion clear up to our deathbeds. And an awful lot of the religion being pushed really does enslave its followers.
A good point.
Belief in Deity vs Belief in Fictional Four
Message 1
The above thread came to the general conclusion (at least, it was never threatened) that the only difference between belief in the Fictional Four (Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Zeus, Flying Spaghetti Monster) and a belief in God is social popularity.
Social popularity and peer pressure is a very well-known phenomenon which can certainly have grave consequences.
Obviously, we don't have much social popularity in a belief in the Fictional Four past about the age of 8 or so. Therefore, it is much less of an issue if you decided to "protect your child's innocence" on these matters. Society will do the job of explaining the truth and curing the ignorance on it's own.
However, there is a large social popularity for a belief in God throughout our entire lifetimes. Therefore, there is a greater threat of your child not "understanding the truth" for possibly their entire lives. It's quite possible that if you do not cure this ignorance at some point, then your child may continue to be ignorant of the fact that no one knows long into adulthood.
As the Daddy, the choice is (of course) up to you.
You could say that treating beliefs in the Fictional Four and God differently with regards to your kid is inconsistent and irrational. However, that would only make sense if beliefs in the Fictional Four and God were identical. But they aren't the same because of the obvious difference in social acceptance.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 8 by Coragyps, posted 10-23-2009 9:06 AM Coragyps has not replied

  
Newer Topic | Older Topic
Jump to:


Copyright 2001-2023 by EvC Forum, All Rights Reserved

™ Version 4.2
Innovative software from Qwixotic © 2024