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Author | Topic: Humor IV | |||||||||||||||||||
CosmicChimp Member Posts: 311 From: Muenchen Bayern Deutschland Joined: |
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Dr Adequate Member (Idle past 275 days) Posts: 16113 Joined: |
Yes, you thought you'd seen it all. You thought that you'd seen the ultimate in denial. But you haven't seen ... this guy:
You know, I think I need to pen a post regarding the fact that slavery actually never existed in the United States. Did you all know that African-Americans descend from African immigrants who arrived in North America during the 16th century after a famine in Africa forced them to find more fertile lands? It's true. Apparently, this nonsense about slavery and the so-called "Civil Rights" movement of the 1960s was a complete sham, orchestrated by a small minority of extremist Afro-Americans bent on world domination. I'm telling you - I've met with a couple of African Americans who told me all about this. And what they told me just flew in the face of everything I've ever read in history books, etc. Really incredible that there actually never was a single slave in either North or South America. Creationism is just left standing wondering what it can do next. Edited by Dr Adequate, : No reason given.
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Michamus Member (Idle past 5148 days) Posts: 230 From: Ft Hood, TX Joined: |
I sure hope you know the Onion is in the same category as the "Weekly World News".
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Shield Member (Idle past 2852 days) Posts: 482 Joined: |
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Huntard Member (Idle past 2285 days) Posts: 2870 From: Limburg, The Netherlands Joined: |
Before everybody gets the wrong impression, yes this is a parody. I like Edward Current's work.
I hunt for the truth I am the one Orgasmatron, the outstretched grasping handMy image is of agony, my servants rape the land Obsequious and arrogant, clandestine and vain Two thousand years of misery, of torture in my name Hypocrisy made paramount, paranoia the law My name is called religion, sadistic, sacred whore. -Lyrics by Lemmy Kilmister of Motorhead
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Straggler Member Posts: 10333 From: London England Joined: |
Just some silly snippets that made me chuckle whilst looking up stuff for recent thread participation:
Nessie....Recent reports that the Loch Ness Monster swallowed two tourists have been denied by Scottish police. A spokesperson stated: "While it's true that two people are missing, there's no need to turn a simple UFO abduction into another of those ridiculous Nessie stories!" New Age NonsenseI'm currently going through a bad period, New Age-wise. My acupuncturist keeps needling me, I don't see eye-to-eye with my iridologist, my graphologist can't read my writing, I feel manipulated by my chiropractor, my touch therapist won't keep her hands off me, I can't count on my numerologist, my homeopath doesn't give me much of anything, and my psychic healer really does my head in. Mencken writes:
Theology - An effort to explain the unknowable by putting it into terms of the not worth knowing.
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onifre Member (Idle past 2941 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
Nessie.... Recent reports that the Loch Ness Monster swallowed two tourists have been denied by Scottish police. A spokesperson stated: "While it's true that two people are missing, there's no need to turn a simple UFO abduction into another of those ridiculous Nessie stories!" - that's hilarious! Did you get to read my some-what simliar story that happened to me? I wrote about it on the "Separating belief in ET life from belief in UFOs." True story, I guess I should add it to the humor thread: "I'm having a beer at a military bar talking to a civilian who lives near by. Some how the talk gets into evolution and I explain how life may have emerged from chemicals found on any ordinary terrestrial planet. I explained that there's probably many, many planets in our universe where some life has evolved; even just plant life and no animals. Maybe even planets that just have single celled organisms, or just bacteria, etc. He flat out isn't "buying" what I was saying (his words). And asked me how I could believe that when clearly God created everything like the Bible says. Which I expected him to say. And he was cool about it, joking and not getting angry. But here's where he shocks me (and I start laughing hysterically on the inside). He asks me: "Do you really think some planet out there is filled with just plants or some weird animals just doing nothing? That they just somehow evolved from mud and crap like that? That's crazy! ... Anyway, let me tell you this story about my cousins neighbor who says he was abducted by aliens..." What?! I asked myself. He doesn't believe that other things exist on other planets, but he believes that aliens from other planets abducted his cousins neighbor? Is this guy fucking insane? But I didn't have the heart to call him on his cognitive dissonance (he would have thought that meant I called him a fag), so I made a joke about it. I said: "Wait, God made other people on other planets and gave those assholes spaceships, while we're stuck here?" And he (In a moment of clarity) said: "Yea... what a dick." And we both laughed hysterically." - Oni
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Straggler Member Posts: 10333 From: London England Joined: |
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
That is fucking brilliant. I quite often seek out your posts in most threads whether I participate in those threads or not. But that particular one passed me by. Quality.
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bluegenes Member (Idle past 2467 days) Posts: 3119 From: U.K. Joined: |
Virtual worship.
Website: MassWePray.com is available at DomainMarket.com. Call 888-694-6735 Poe's law? Is this for real, anyone? Edited by bluegenes, : website added
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bluegenes Member (Idle past 2467 days) Posts: 3119 From: U.K. Joined: |
Jesus and Mo I posted this not because it's hilariously funny, but because it makes a point that I had to make to another member recently. It's very common to see people in internet debates accusing others of ad hom while doing exactly what Mo does here in frame 3.
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Rrhain Member Posts: 6351 From: San Diego, CA, USA Joined: |
For a moment, I thought they were Orthodox...until I realized they were using their left hands to cross themselves.
They're going to hell, now. Rrhain Thank you for your submission to Science. Your paper was reviewed by a jury of seventh graders so that they could look for balance and to allow them to make up their own minds. We are sorry to say that they found your paper "bogus," specifically describing the section on the laboratory work "boring." We regret that we will be unable to publish your work at this time. Minds are like parachutes. Just because you've lost yours doesn't mean you can use mine.
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Rrhain Member Posts: 6351 From: San Diego, CA, USA Joined: |
Arguably the worst movie made.
The Room, written, directed, and starring Tommy Wiseau. Yes, those blurbs at the end come from his own press release for the movie. He originally released it as a serious drama but given the audience reactions, he is now trying to market it as a "black comedy." Well, comedy is a possible idea: Apparently, it's been playing in LA for four years and is becoming the new Rocky Horror Picture Show where people go specifically to laugh at it. And sadly, Wiseau attends these performances and takes questions from the audience.... Rrhain Thank you for your submission to Science. Your paper was reviewed by a jury of seventh graders so that they could look for balance and to allow them to make up their own minds. We are sorry to say that they found your paper "bogus," specifically describing the section on the laboratory work "boring." We regret that we will be unable to publish your work at this time. Minds are like parachutes. Just because you've lost yours doesn't mean you can use mine.
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bob_gray Member (Idle past 5004 days) Posts: 243 From: Virginia Joined: |
It is an "advertisement" for Dante's Inferno.
http://www.dantesinferno.com/home.action Click on "pre-order".
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Taz Member (Idle past 3282 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
Edited by Taz, : No reason given.
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bluescat48 Member (Idle past 4180 days) Posts: 2347 From: United States Joined: |
keyewt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
double entendre anyone? There is no better love between 2 people than mutual respect for each other WT Young, 2002 Who gave anyone the authority to call me an authority on anything. WT Young, 1969 Since Evolution is only ~90% correct it should be thrown out and replaced by Creation which has even a lower % of correctness. W T Young, 2008
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