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Author Topic:   Humor IV
CosmicChimp
Member
Posts: 306
From: Muenchen Bayern Deutschland
Joined: 06-15-2007


Message 346 of 540 (534477)
11-08-2009 4:08 PM


This is unbelievable!
Wired article about Governor Schwarzenegger's memo to the CA legislature.

Dr Adequate
Member
Posts: 16093
Joined: 07-20-2006
Member Rating: 9.1


Message 347 of 540 (534517)
11-09-2009 2:37 AM


Someone Is Madder Than Creationists
Yes, you thought you'd seen it all. You thought that you'd seen the ultimate in denial. But you haven't seen ... this guy:

You know, I think I need to pen a post regarding the fact that slavery actually never existed in the United States. Did you all know that African-Americans descend from African immigrants who arrived in North America during the 16th century after a famine in Africa forced them to find more fertile lands? It's true. Apparently, this nonsense about slavery and the so-called "Civil Rights" movement of the 1960s was a complete sham, orchestrated by a small minority of extremist Afro-Americans bent on world domination.

I'm telling you - I've met with a couple of African Americans who told me all about this. And what they told me just flew in the face of everything I've ever read in history books, etc. Really incredible that there actually never was a single slave in either North or South America.

Creationism is just left standing wondering what it can do next.

Edited by Dr Adequate, : No reason given.


Michamus
Member (Idle past 3266 days)
Posts: 230
From: Ft Hood, TX
Joined: 03-16-2009


Message 348 of 540 (534559)
11-09-2009 11:43 AM
Reply to: Message 314 by Izanagi
10-10-2009 1:07 AM


Re: If Darwin were alive today...
I sure hope you know the Onion is in the same category as the "Weekly World News".
This message is a reply to:
 Message 314 by Izanagi, posted 10-10-2009 1:07 AM Izanagi has not yet responded

  
Shield
Member (Idle past 971 days)
Posts: 482
Joined: 01-29-2008


Message 349 of 540 (535045)
11-12-2009 3:31 PM



Replies to this message:
 Message 350 by Huntard, posted 11-12-2009 4:25 PM Shield has not yet responded

  
Huntard
Member (Idle past 404 days)
Posts: 2870
From: Limburg, The Netherlands
Joined: 09-02-2008


Message 350 of 540 (535049)
11-12-2009 4:25 PM
Reply to: Message 349 by Shield
11-12-2009 3:31 PM


Ah! Good old Edward!
Before everybody gets the wrong impression, yes this is a parody. I like Edward Current's work.


I hunt for the truth

I am the one Orgasmatron, the outstretched grasping hand
My image is of agony, my servants rape the land
Obsequious and arrogant, clandestine and vain
Two thousand years of misery, of torture in my name
Hypocrisy made paramount, paranoia the law
My name is called religion, sadistic, sacred whore.
-Lyrics by Lemmy Kilmister of Motorhead


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 Message 349 by Shield, posted 11-12-2009 3:31 PM Shield has not yet responded

  
Straggler
Member
Posts: 10284
From: London England
Joined: 09-30-2006


Message 351 of 540 (535057)
11-12-2009 5:10 PM


Snippets That Tickled
Just some silly snippets that made me chuckle whilst looking up stuff for recent thread participation:

Nessie....
Recent reports that the Loch Ness Monster swallowed two tourists have been denied by Scottish police. A spokesperson stated: "While it's true that two people are missing, there's no need to turn a simple UFO abduction into another of those ridiculous Nessie stories!"

New Age Nonsense
I'm currently going through a bad period, New Age-wise. My acupuncturist keeps needling me, I don't see eye-to-eye with my iridologist, my graphologist can't read my writing, I feel manipulated by my chiropractor, my touch therapist won't keep her hands off me, I can't count on my numerologist, my homeopath doesn't give me much of anything, and my psychic healer really does my head in.

Mencken writes:

Theology - An effort to explain the unknowable by putting it into terms of the not worth knowing.


Replies to this message:
 Message 352 by onifre, posted 11-12-2009 6:57 PM Straggler has responded

onifre
Member (Idle past 1060 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 352 of 540 (535081)
11-12-2009 6:57 PM
Reply to: Message 351 by Straggler
11-12-2009 5:10 PM


Re: Snippets That Tickled
Nessie....
Recent reports that the Loch Ness Monster swallowed two tourists have been denied by Scottish police. A spokesperson stated: "While it's true that two people are missing, there's no need to turn a simple UFO abduction into another of those ridiculous Nessie stories!"

- that's hilarious!

Did you get to read my some-what simliar story that happened to me? I wrote about it on the "Separating belief in ET life from belief in UFOs."

True story, I guess I should add it to the humor thread:

"I'm having a beer at a military bar talking to a civilian who lives near by. Some how the talk gets into evolution and I explain how life may have emerged from chemicals found on any ordinary terrestrial planet. I explained that there's probably many, many planets in our universe where some life has evolved; even just plant life and no animals. Maybe even planets that just have single celled organisms, or just bacteria, etc.

He flat out isn't "buying" what I was saying (his words). And asked me how I could believe that when clearly God created everything like the Bible says. Which I expected him to say. And he was cool about it, joking and not getting angry.

But here's where he shocks me (and I start laughing hysterically on the inside).

He asks me: "Do you really think some planet out there is filled with just plants or some weird animals just doing nothing? That they just somehow evolved from mud and crap like that? That's crazy! ... Anyway, let me tell you this story about my cousins neighbor who says he was abducted by aliens..."

What?! I asked myself. He doesn't believe that other things exist on other planets, but he believes that aliens from other planets abducted his cousins neighbor? Is this guy fucking insane?

But I didn't have the heart to call him on his cognitive dissonance (he would have thought that meant I called him a fag), so I made a joke about it. I said: "Wait, God made other people on other planets and gave those assholes spaceships, while we're stuck here?" And he (In a moment of clarity) said: "Yea... what a dick." And we both laughed hysterically."

- Oni


This message is a reply to:
 Message 351 by Straggler, posted 11-12-2009 5:10 PM Straggler has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 353 by Straggler, posted 11-12-2009 7:03 PM onifre has not yet responded

  
Straggler
Member
Posts: 10284
From: London England
Joined: 09-30-2006


Message 353 of 540 (535082)
11-12-2009 7:03 PM
Reply to: Message 352 by onifre
11-12-2009 6:57 PM


Re: Snippets That Tickled
BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

That is fucking brilliant.

I quite often seek out your posts in most threads whether I participate in those threads or not. But that particular one passed me by.

Quality.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 352 by onifre, posted 11-12-2009 6:57 PM onifre has not yet responded

bluegenes
Member (Idle past 586 days)
Posts: 3119
From: U.K.
Joined: 01-24-2007


Message 354 of 540 (535746)
11-17-2009 5:32 PM


Bloody Hell
Virtual worship.

Website: http://www.masswepray.com/

Poe's law? Is this for real, anyone?

Edited by bluegenes, : website added


Replies to this message:
 Message 356 by Rrhain, posted 11-23-2009 11:06 PM bluegenes has not yet responded
 Message 358 by bob_gray, posted 11-24-2009 1:00 AM bluegenes has not yet responded

bluegenes
Member (Idle past 586 days)
Posts: 3119
From: U.K.
Joined: 01-24-2007


Message 355 of 540 (535757)
11-17-2009 6:12 PM


Ad Hominem

Jesus and Mo

I posted this not because it's hilariously funny, but because it makes a point that I had to make to another member recently. It's very common to see people in internet debates accusing others of ad hom while doing exactly what Mo does here in frame 3.


Rrhain
Member
Posts: 6349
From: San Diego, CA, USA
Joined: 05-03-2003


Message 356 of 540 (536556)
11-23-2009 11:06 PM
Reply to: Message 354 by bluegenes
11-17-2009 5:32 PM


For a moment, I thought they were Orthodox...until I realized they were using their left hands to cross themselves.

They're going to hell, now.


Rrhain

Thank you for your submission to Science. Your paper was reviewed by a jury of seventh graders so that they could look for balance and to allow them to make up their own minds. We are sorry to say that they found your paper "bogus," specifically describing the section on the laboratory work "boring." We regret that we will be unable to publish your work at this time.

Minds are like parachutes. Just because you've lost yours doesn't mean you can use mine.
This message is a reply to:
 Message 354 by bluegenes, posted 11-17-2009 5:32 PM bluegenes has not yet responded

  
Rrhain
Member
Posts: 6349
From: San Diego, CA, USA
Joined: 05-03-2003


Message 357 of 540 (536559)
11-23-2009 11:25 PM


Arguably the worst movie made.

The Room, written, directed, and starring Tommy Wiseau. Yes, those blurbs at the end come from his own press release for the movie.

He originally released it as a serious drama but given the audience reactions, he is now trying to market it as a "black comedy."

Well, comedy is a possible idea:

Apparently, it's been playing in LA for four years and is becoming the new Rocky Horror Picture Show where people go specifically to laugh at it.

And sadly, Wiseau attends these performances and takes questions from the audience....


Rrhain

Thank you for your submission to Science. Your paper was reviewed by a jury of seventh graders so that they could look for balance and to allow them to make up their own minds. We are sorry to say that they found your paper "bogus," specifically describing the section on the laboratory work "boring." We regret that we will be unable to publish your work at this time.

Minds are like parachutes. Just because you've lost yours doesn't mean you can use mine.
Replies to this message:
 Message 361 by onifre, posted 11-25-2009 9:55 AM Rrhain has not yet responded
 Message 364 by DevilsAdvocate, posted 11-28-2009 1:31 PM Rrhain has responded

  
bob_gray
Member (Idle past 3122 days)
Posts: 243
From: Virginia
Joined: 05-03-2004


Message 358 of 540 (536565)
11-24-2009 1:00 AM
Reply to: Message 354 by bluegenes
11-17-2009 5:32 PM


Re: Bloody Hell
It is an "advertisement" for Dante's Inferno.

http://www.dantesinferno.com/home.action

Click on "pre-order".


This message is a reply to:
 Message 354 by bluegenes, posted 11-17-2009 5:32 PM bluegenes has not yet responded

  
Taz
Member (Idle past 1400 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 359 of 540 (536710)
11-24-2009 3:47 PM


They forgot about the sun when they put up this wall

Edited by Taz, : No reason given.


Replies to this message:
 Message 360 by bluescat48, posted 11-24-2009 10:50 PM Taz has not yet responded

bluescat48
Member (Idle past 2299 days)
Posts: 2347
From: United States
Joined: 10-06-2007


Message 360 of 540 (536752)
11-24-2009 10:50 PM
Reply to: Message 359 by Taz
11-24-2009 3:47 PM


Re: They forgot about the sun when they put up this wall
keyewt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

double entendre anyone?


There is no better love between 2 people than mutual respect for each other WT Young, 2002

Who gave anyone the authority to call me an authority on anything. WT Young, 1969

Since Evolution is only ~90% correct it should be thrown out and replaced by Creation which has even a lower % of correctness. W T Young, 2008


This message is a reply to:
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