We all know that atheist beliefs include eating babies and pushing old ladies down three flights of stairs as a minimum prerequisite.
That's just to get the merit badge in Atheist Scouts. If you really want to impress the Atheist Elders, you have to be much more creative. Giving that old lady paper cuts all over her body and then dunking her in a vat of lemon juice is what I did to get my Atheist of the Year award back in 'aught six.