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Author Topic:   Humor IV
hooah212002
Member
Posts: 3183
Joined: 08-12-2009


Message 391 of 540 (542507)
01-10-2010 11:52 AM


This HAS to be a joke?
(sorry guys, my fault. I jumped the gun. I forgot Landoverbaptist.net IS parody)

PLEASE tell me this is a joke........

{ABE}Just found it is from Landover Baptist.net....NOT a joke?

Edited by hooah212002, : No reason given.

Edited by hooah212002, : No reason given.


Who are we? We find that we live on an insignificant planet of a humdrum star lost in a galaxy tucked away in some forgotten corner of a universe in which there are far more galaxies than people
-Carl Sagan

For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
-Carl Sagan


Replies to this message:
 Message 392 by Modulous, posted 01-10-2010 12:33 PM hooah212002 has responded
 Message 394 by Taz, posted 01-10-2010 3:26 PM hooah212002 has acknowledged this reply
 Message 398 by greyseal, posted 01-11-2010 1:58 AM hooah212002 has acknowledged this reply

  
Modulous
Member (Idle past 276 days)
Posts: 7789
From: Manchester, UK
Joined: 05-01-2005


Message 392 of 540 (542512)
01-10-2010 12:33 PM
Reply to: Message 391 by hooah212002
01-10-2010 11:52 AM


Re: This HAS to be a joke?
Just found it is from Landover Baptist.net....NOT a joke?

Landover Baptist is a fictional church, fortunately, but it does serve as a demonstration of Poe's Law:

quote:
Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humour, it is impossible to create a parody of fundamentalism that someone won't mistake for the real thing

This message is a reply to:
 Message 391 by hooah212002, posted 01-10-2010 11:52 AM hooah212002 has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 393 by hooah212002, posted 01-10-2010 12:41 PM Modulous has acknowledged this reply

hooah212002
Member
Posts: 3183
Joined: 08-12-2009


Message 393 of 540 (542513)
01-10-2010 12:41 PM
Reply to: Message 392 by Modulous
01-10-2010 12:33 PM


Re: This HAS to be a joke?
Yea, i know. In my haste (as I added by edit at the beginning of my post), I forgot about it being fictional. I had read about it some time back. I read more AFTER I posted this. I wanted to leave my idiocy here for all to see, otherwise I would have deleted the content.


Who are we? We find that we live on an insignificant planet of a humdrum star lost in a galaxy tucked away in some forgotten corner of a universe in which there are far more galaxies than people
-Carl Sagan

For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
-Carl Sagan


This message is a reply to:
 Message 392 by Modulous, posted 01-10-2010 12:33 PM Modulous has acknowledged this reply

Replies to this message:
 Message 395 by AnswersInGenitals, posted 01-10-2010 7:26 PM hooah212002 has acknowledged this reply

  
Taz
Member (Idle past 1463 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 394 of 540 (542541)
01-10-2010 3:26 PM
Reply to: Message 391 by hooah212002
01-10-2010 11:52 AM


Re: This HAS to be a joke?
Haha, this is precious.

quote:
MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES!
Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part.

Edit.

By the way, is the following article for real? I can't tell if it's for real or a parody.

The G-spot 'doesn't appear to exist', say researchers

Edited by Taz, : No reason given.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 391 by hooah212002, posted 01-10-2010 11:52 AM hooah212002 has acknowledged this reply

Replies to this message:
 Message 396 by onifre, posted 01-10-2010 10:45 PM Taz has responded

AnswersInGenitals
Member
Posts: 509
Joined: 07-20-2006


Message 395 of 540 (542560)
01-10-2010 7:26 PM
Reply to: Message 393 by hooah212002
01-10-2010 12:41 PM


Sagan's imaginery friend?
Who are we? We find that we live on an insignificant planet of a humdrum star lost in a galaxy tucked away in some forgotten corner of a universe in which there are far more galaxies than people
-Carl Sagan

I'm wondering exactly who (or what) it is that Sagan thinks has forgotten about this corner of the universe. And what telescope did he use to determine not only the number of galaxies in the universe, but also the number of people in the universe.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 393 by hooah212002, posted 01-10-2010 12:41 PM hooah212002 has acknowledged this reply

onifre
Member (Idle past 1122 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 396 of 540 (542572)
01-10-2010 10:45 PM
Reply to: Message 394 by Taz
01-10-2010 3:26 PM


Re: This HAS to be a joke?
The G-spot 'doesn't appear to exist', say researchers

I knew it!

- Oni


This message is a reply to:
 Message 394 by Taz, posted 01-10-2010 3:26 PM Taz has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 397 by Taz, posted 01-11-2010 12:27 AM onifre has not yet responded

  
Taz
Member (Idle past 1463 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 397 of 540 (542577)
01-11-2010 12:27 AM
Reply to: Message 396 by onifre
01-10-2010 10:45 PM


Re: This HAS to be a joke?
They've been faking it right in front of our noses all this time.
This message is a reply to:
 Message 396 by onifre, posted 01-10-2010 10:45 PM onifre has not yet responded

greyseal
Member (Idle past 2033 days)
Posts: 464
Joined: 08-11-2009


Message 398 of 540 (542582)
01-11-2010 1:58 AM
Reply to: Message 391 by hooah212002
01-10-2010 11:52 AM


Re: This HAS to be a joke?
sadly enough, (some of/most of) the arabs/muslims/Dubai-people probably think like this.

Rape is less of a crime than "having sex when not married" and "drinking".

that's right, folks, a glass of wine or a pint of bitter is a worse crime than violating the sanctity of a womans body. or a mans, i guess.

no, worse, the crime of choosing to have a tipple is worse than having somebody force themselves on you in the most intimate and personal way against your will.

and, if they do rape you, you've had sex before marriage and it's your fault.

how wonderful holy law is.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 391 by hooah212002, posted 01-10-2010 11:52 AM hooah212002 has acknowledged this reply

Replies to this message:
 Message 399 by Chippo, posted 01-11-2010 2:20 AM greyseal has not yet responded

  
Chippo
Junior Member (Idle past 3340 days)
Posts: 9
From: Sydney, NSW, Aus
Joined: 01-10-2010


Message 399 of 540 (542583)
01-11-2010 2:20 AM
Reply to: Message 398 by greyseal
01-11-2010 1:58 AM


Re: This HAS to be a joke?
sadly enough, (some of/most of) the arabs/muslims/Dubai-people probably think like this.

Rape is less of a crime than "having sex when not married" and "drinking".

that's right, folks, a glass of wine or a pint of bitter is a worse crime than violating the sanctity of a womans body. or a mans, i guess.

no, worse, the crime of choosing to have a tipple is worse than having somebody force themselves on you in the most intimate and personal way against your will.

and, if they do rape you, you've had sex before marriage and it's your fault.

how wonderful holy law is.

Yes it is despicable, the accusation that women who are raped are harlots in the old testament, even Mary Magdaline is referred to as a prostitute. I mean what a great way to introduce/indoctrinate a young girl into your religion by saying don't talk to strangers because if they kidnap and touch you inappropriately then it is your fault and you will not go to heaven.

Great stuff that

Edited by Chippo, : No reason given.

Edited by Chippo, : No reason given.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 398 by greyseal, posted 01-11-2010 1:58 AM greyseal has not yet responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 400 by Huntard, posted 01-11-2010 10:39 AM Chippo has not yet responded

  
Huntard
Member (Idle past 467 days)
Posts: 2870
From: Limburg, The Netherlands
Joined: 09-02-2008


Message 400 of 540 (542624)
01-11-2010 10:39 AM
Reply to: Message 399 by Chippo
01-11-2010 2:20 AM


Re: This HAS to be a joke?
Chippo writes:

Yes it is despicable, the accusation that women who are raped are harlots in the old testament, even Mary Magdaline is referred to as a prostitute.


First of all, that's the New Testament (the Mary Magdaline part). Second, nowhere in there is she ever referred to as a prostitute. That's something some early churchfather dreamed up (or maybe a later one).

I mean what a great way to introduce/indoctrinate a young girl into your religion by saying don't talk to strangers because if they kidnap and touch you inappropriately then it is your fault and you will not go to heaven.
Great stuff that.

Indeed...


I hunt for the truth

I am the one Orgasmatron, the outstretched grasping hand
My image is of agony, my servants rape the land
Obsequious and arrogant, clandestine and vain
Two thousand years of misery, of torture in my name
Hypocrisy made paramount, paranoia the law
My name is called religion, sadistic, sacred whore.
-Lyrics by Lemmy Kilmister of Motorhead


This message is a reply to:
 Message 399 by Chippo, posted 01-11-2010 2:20 AM Chippo has not yet responded

  
hooah212002
Member
Posts: 3183
Joined: 08-12-2009


Message 401 of 540 (542839)
01-13-2010 8:21 AM


Gay Teen Worried He Might Be Christian
Gay Teen Worried He Might Be Christian

"I don't know what's happening to me," Faber admitted to reporters Monday. "It's like I get these weird urges sometimes, and suddenly I'm tempted to go behind my friends' backs and attend a megachurch service, or censor books in the school library in some way. Even just the thought of organizing a CD-burning turns me on."

"The other week, I was this close to picketing in front of an abortion clinic," the mortified teenager said, his eyes welling up with tears. "I know it's wrong, but I wanted so badly to do it anyway. I even made one of those signs with photos of dead fetuses and hid it in my closet. I felt so ashamed, yet, at the same time, it was all strangely titillating."

Edited by hooah212002, : No reason given.


Who are we? We find that we live on an insignificant planet of a humdrum star lost in a galaxy tucked away in some forgotten corner of a universe in which there are far more galaxies than people
-Carl Sagan

For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
-Carl Sagan


  
hooah212002
Member
Posts: 3183
Joined: 08-12-2009


Message 402 of 540 (542840)
01-13-2010 8:47 AM


Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World
Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

"These two people made in his image do not know how to communicate, lack skills in both mathematics and farming, and have the intellectual capacity of an infant," one Sumerian philosopher wrote. "They must be the creation of a complete idiot."


Who are we? We find that we live on an insignificant planet of a humdrum star lost in a galaxy tucked away in some forgotten corner of a universe in which there are far more galaxies than people
-Carl Sagan

For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
-Carl Sagan


  
RAZD
Member
Posts: 19883
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004
Member Rating: 5.6


Message 403 of 540 (543318)
01-17-2010 9:12 AM


non-sequitur again
quote:


Published on January 17, 2010
http://www.uclick.com/client/spi/nq/


we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand
Rebel American Zen Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.


• • • Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click) • • •

Briterican
Member (Idle past 2120 days)
Posts: 340
Joined: 05-29-2008


Message 404 of 540 (543605)
01-19-2010 3:13 PM


Carl Sagan's Apple Pie

Yummy

http://www.flickr.com/photos/neven/107224599/

...the source as far as I can tell. He acknowledges the misquoting error of "create" instead of "invent", and others have pointed out the smaller error of "want" instead of "wish".

Edited by Briterican, : No reason given.


Replies to this message:
 Message 405 by Iblis, posted 01-20-2010 5:27 AM Briterican has acknowledged this reply

  
Iblis
Member (Idle past 2067 days)
Posts: 663
Joined: 11-17-2005


Message 405 of 540 (543665)
01-20-2010 5:27 AM
Reply to: Message 404 by Briterican
01-19-2010 3:13 PM


Re: Carl Sagan's Apple Pie
Primordial soup.

1. Obtain one rocky planet with a surface gravity of at least 10 m/s2.
2. Apply h2o randomly until a majority of the surface is covered. If your water is staying gaseous, move farther away from the star, if it's freezing, move closer. Be sure to adjust the orbit for stability.
3. Add a layer of methane and ammonia, and H2, sprinkle hydrogen cyanide to taste.
4. Stir gently with a satellite of at least 20% the mass of the planet. If you don't have one available, feel free to pull a chunk off, The stirring will even it up after a while.
5. Be sure to turn the planet slowly, each part of the surface should be heated evenly. a good guide is one orbit to 350 rotations, give or take.
6. Let simmer. Feel free to watch, but it may take a few billion orbits to cook.
7. Unique flavors can be achieved by heating and freezing temporarily, feel free to experiment.
8. If you attempt to clean off a bad flavor, it probably won't work. experts recommend starting over.

Serves you right.

http://everything2.com/?node_id=1969107


This message is a reply to:
 Message 404 by Briterican, posted 01-19-2010 3:13 PM Briterican has acknowledged this reply

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