Humor IV

(sorry guys, my fault. I jumped the gun. I forgot Landoverbaptist.net IS parody) PLEASE tell me this is a joke........{ABE}Just found it is from Landover Baptist.net....NOT a joke?Edited by hooah212002, : No reason given.Edited by hooah212002, : No reason given.

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Who are we? We find that we live on an insignificant planet of a humdrum star lost in a galaxy tucked away in some forgotten corner of a universe in which there are far more galaxies than people
-Carl SaganFor me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
-Carl Sagan

Landover Baptist is a fictional church, fortunately, but it does serve as a demonstration of Poe's Law:

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Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humour, it is impossible to create a parody of fundamentalism that someone won't mistake for the real thing

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Yea, i know. In my haste (as I added by edit at the beginning of my post), I forgot about it being fictional. I had read about it some time back. I read more AFTER I posted this. I wanted to leave my idiocy here for all to see, otherwise I would have deleted the content.

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Who are we? We find that we live on an insignificant planet of a humdrum star lost in a galaxy tucked away in some forgotten corner of a universe in which there are far more galaxies than people
-Carl SaganFor me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
-Carl Sagan

Haha, this is precious.

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MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES!
Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part.

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Edit.By the way, is the following article for real? I can't tell if it's for real or a parody. The G-spot 'doesn't appear to exist', say researchers Edited by Taz, : No reason given.

I'm wondering exactly who (or what) it is that Sagan thinks has forgotten about this corner of the universe. And what telescope did he use to determine not only the number of galaxies in the universe, but also the number of people in the universe.

I knew it!- Oni

They've been faking it right in front of our noses all this time.

sadly enough, (some of/most of) the arabs/muslims/Dubai-people probably think like this.Rape is less of a crime than "having sex when not married" and "drinking".that's right, folks, a glass of wine or a pint of bitter is a worse crime than violating the sanctity of a womans body. or a mans, i guess.no, worse, the crime of choosing to have a tipple is worse than having somebody force themselves on you in the most intimate and personal way against your will.and, if they do rape you, you've had sex before marriage and it's your fault.how wonderful holy law is.

Yes it is despicable, the accusation that women who are raped are harlots in the old testament, even Mary Magdaline is referred to as a prostitute. I mean what a great way to introduce/indoctrinate a young girl into your religion by saying don't talk to strangers because if they kidnap and touch you inappropriately then it is your fault and you will not go to heaven.Great stuff thatEdited by Chippo, : No reason given.Edited by Chippo, : No reason given.

First of all, that's the New Testament (the Mary Magdaline part). Second, nowhere in there is she ever referred to as a prostitute. That's something some early churchfather dreamed up (or maybe a later one). Indeed...

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I hunt for the truthI am the one Orgasmatron, the outstretched grasping hand
My image is of agony, my servants rape the land
Obsequious and arrogant, clandestine and vain
Two thousand years of misery, of torture in my name
Hypocrisy made paramount, paranoia the law
My name is called religion, sadistic, sacred whore.
-Lyrics by Lemmy Kilmister of Motorhead

Gay Teen Worried He Might Be ChristianEdited by hooah212002, : No reason given.

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Who are we? We find that we live on an insignificant planet of a humdrum star lost in a galaxy tucked away in some forgotten corner of a universe in which there are far more galaxies than people
-Carl SaganFor me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
-Carl Sagan

Sumerians Look On In Confusion As God Creates World

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Who are we? We find that we live on an insignificant planet of a humdrum star lost in a galaxy tucked away in some forgotten corner of a universe in which there are far more galaxies than people
-Carl SaganFor me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
-Carl Sagan

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Published on January 17, 2010
Andrews McMeel Syndication - Home

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YummyCarl Sagan's Apple Pie | (Thanks for pointing out Carl actua | Flickr...the source as far as I can tell. He acknowledges the misquoting error of "create" instead of "invent", and others have pointed out the smaller error of "want" instead of "wish".Edited by Briterican, : No reason given.

Primordial soup.1. Obtain one rocky planet with a surface gravity of at least 10 m/s².
2. Apply h₂o randomly until a majority of the surface is covered. If your water is staying gaseous, move farther away from the star, if it's freezing, move closer. Be sure to adjust the orbit for stability.
3. Add a layer of methane and ammonia, and H₂, sprinkle hydrogen cyanide to taste.
4. Stir gently with a satellite of at least 20% the mass of the planet. If you don't have one available, feel free to pull a chunk off, The stirring will even it up after a while.
5. Be sure to turn the planet slowly, each part of the surface should be heated evenly. a good guide is one orbit to 350 rotations, give or take.
6. Let simmer. Feel free to watch, but it may take a few billion orbits to cook.
7. Unique flavors can be achieved by heating and freezing temporarily, feel free to experiment.
8. If you attempt to clean off a bad flavor, it probably won't work. experts recommend starting over.Serves you right.Primordial soup (recipe) by Catinthewall - Everything2.com