Humor V

Some of my favorites. These were culled any time I felt bored from FSTDT and from the feedback on TalkOrigins.* As Morris says: "Everything left to itself tends to grow old, and to run down and finally die." (Page 36). You see, although evolution is accepted by many people, it is still only a theory. Never in history has anybody ever observed evolution from kind to kind in action, in spite of claims to that effect. Supposed, yes; but observed, never. And now, with the discovery in recent years of the two laws of thermodynamics, we find the whole concept of evolution is flatly contradicted by known and established laws of the universe.* Let us consider the earth as a closed system in regards to the passage of H2O in and out of the system. Clearly this is a safe assumption as it is manifestly evident that no water leaves the earth (ignoring space exploration).Ninety-seven percent of the water on Earth is salt water. Fresh water resides on land or in glaciers. As this water is used, it trickles down by gravity to the oceans of the world and becomes mixed with the salt water. You will note that no water is trickling back up to land as this would contradict the energy law of fluid dynamics i.e. water cannot flow uphill without an external energy source.I submit that if evolutionists were correct and the earth were over 4 billion years old that the supply of fresh water would have long run out. Four billion years of the fresh water flowing downhill to the oceans would result in dry lakes and rivers. Clearly this is a contradiction in the theory of evolution.* the scientists say that there's a missing link that there is no animal in between the monkey's and human's evolution thing how can you have a missing link when the whole chain is wrong and the scientists say that there is no way that matter can dissappear we were made with all the matter we need and before the big bang all the matter was in one little ball of ooze and what i want to know is how did that little ball of matter get there? why don't they answer all the questions, just some of them, the ones they want to answer?* But anyway, I'm just replying on one of your evolution theories, the one about the black peppered moth. I believe that the man that came up with that theory, confessed about gluing those moths to the trees to take that photo, and he ended up going to jail. Correct me if im wrong, but that is what i've been informed.* You talked about how evolution has been observed by insects becomming resistant to pesticides. Again, this isn't evolution, it is variation. It happens to people all the time, a person that doesn't like the taste of onions, and eats nothing but onions for a month, they will adapt to the taste. They don't evolve taste buds that make onions taste good.* Don't waste your time with these people (I guess I have a little time to waste). They will never get it. I was amazed at Tim Thompson's mathematical, singularity, general relativity, quantum mechanical... if a/b=c, and carry the 4, then the universe could not literally be born from nothing. NO KIDDING.* When God created the Earth He created it with age, we know this because of Adam and Eve. They were not two when they were created, they were adults. Also most scientists are now admitting to the fact that evolution did not take place.* Kent Hovind is not an embarresment to the creation movement, usally when he cannot be refuted, then this is what the evil-lutionist resort to. He is very good friends with the father of the modern young earth creationist movement Henry Morris, so your facts are liar, which I am sure you are aware of.* Using your own words: "fact" doesn't mean "absolute certainty". Then why teach these things as "truth" to our impressionable school age children? Evolution of species is a documented fact? What merit does it have then, because a "fact" is only a half-truth? I do not want my children being taught half-truths (lies)* hey dude. Did George washington exist? were you there to see him? Then all you are doing is relying on books and textbooks to tell you who he was and what he did. Did god exist? You never saw him either. the bible tells you exactly who he is and was nd will always be, but you don't believe in the bible. Why believe the textbooks?* Person 1: Well, how do creationists know that the Big Bang isn't true? Person 2: Tell me, Matt. If you put a bomb in your room, do you think setting it off would make it clean or dirty? 1) That's easy. A bomb would cause a huge mess. I would have clothes and toys all over the place. Mom wouldn't be happy about that at all. 2) Well, you can think of the Big Bang kind of like a big bomb. Evolutionists think that when this explosion happened things got more organized or straightened up instead of getting more disorganized or messy. 1) That sure doesn't make any sense. Another way we know evolution isn't true is to look at our so-called relatives, the monkeys. Man and animals do have many things in common, two eyes, two ears, and the way we breathe, for example. But if you compare DNA, the instructions inside our body that tell us how to look, of monkeys and men, there are some big differences. For the DNA of a monkey to accidentally change to the DNA of a man would be like saying I accidentally jumped over the Grand Canyon So big bang created everything that looks so beatiful on Earth? I wonder how Earth would look after an atomic bomb, maybe we might get more beautiful. Your logic is sad.* You are a moron, the geological collum was deposited rapidly and there is petrified trees connecting the layers right side up and upside down. These trees prove the layers were formed rapidly, because the trees conect them together. mabe the roots grew during the flood whitch water level reached above the highest mountian. How is oil and coal made? Roots growing 7000 feet down doesnt dissprove the the rapid formation, mabe during the flood seeds were buried. These layers are not diffrent ages, and how come there is no erosion marks between the layers. I did erosion controll, and underground construction. I am not going to fall for your false science. The geological collum is based on circular reasoning. Your carbon dating is assumed constant, and that is unknown. carbon date a live snail and see what you get 25,000 years.Plus how many super novas do we have, not millions of years worth. The mammonths were froze rapidly (small ice crystals in blood) You would need -300 deg below to freeze the mammoths with unroted food in there stomach, the inside would rot because of their stomach acid hello. There is no proof of anything being consistant, if there was more observations would favor the earth as under 10,00 years old. Go to drdino.com and learn real science.* archology was founded onproving the bible wrong, yet everything that archologist have found have continued to do the oppisite and has always proven the bible correct.* AS for evolution and your big bang one question where did the dirt come from? so don't tell people that its not a belief as in a religon.* You can try to discredit those ''creationist''but it's not working! If you look at the new polls, you will see that the lunatic fringe of atheistic philosophy, which is what EVOLUTION is, and nothing more, is being seriously challenged by THINKING and curious people. Now, all the sudden the degrees of the evolutionist/scientist is becoming a worthless piece of paper when the doubt of a philosophical ''theory'' is being dumped into the recycle bin of YAK! Imagine. Dawkins having to defend his degree based on a false science! Will Oxford call it back in when they discover the value of teaching the false science of evolution is equivalent to a day at Disney World!* Well there is a few laws you should refer to before spreading that theory around. 1st law of thermal dynamics matter cannot be created or destroyed. This means that everything was here from the start, or if you are a creationist, you would believe that it was created by God who would be powerful enough to do anything with this universe.* Why isnt Abiogenesis, the theory that life spontaneously came into existence from base chemicals completely contradicted by Newton's Second Law of Thermodynamics.* There hasn't been a single fossil found that represents a transitional animal, an in-between phases, missing link. It has been speculated but never found. We should see those everywhere. Lizards with wings and fish with legs and stuff.* Adaptation occurs but not evolution! Read the Bible and you will see the truth. Jacob made his cattle copulate before striped rods, and wouldn’t you know but the babies came out striped! From this Biblical evidence, we can safely say that polar bears emerge from brown bears because they are conceived amid all that white snow. Similarly, peacocks probably were big-tailed birds that spent a few generations among colorful flowers while some sharks adapted their coloration from the dark water beneath and sunlight above. Test it for yourselves! However, you should ensure that a righteous man like Jacob performs the experiment, as evolutionists will falsify the data so they can continue living in sinful debauchery without being held to God’s rules. I dare you to post this because it thoroughly disproves your pet theory!* Evolution is fake. I want evolutionist to explain this. How do grass and trees grow from a small seed (Genesis 1:11). The sky is unreachable and it had to be a creator to that. People dying in their sleep. The Moon, sun, stars, clouds,rainbow,mountains, planets outer space. Why are ya'll celebrating Christmas without knowing the true meaning. It is better to Worship GOD and there is not one, then to be athiest and he is there.* Another fact is the earth is slowing down at a pretty constant rate. If you go back too far the earth would be spinning so fast that the dinosaurs that text books say were there, would have been flung off the earth.* You wish you knew what was the truth? Where has all your scientific mummbo jummbo been proven without a doubt? Do you have a time machine? Can you go back and prove one way or the other? How come you think your way is the truth? Have you been smited? Were you made to feel inferior to someone else based upon there obivious unique interpretation of life based upon our only cronological existence?* To take something from Ken Ham, what would you expect to find if there was a global flood? Billions of dead things buried in rock layers layed down by water all over the earth. And what do you find? Billions of dead things buried in rock layers layed down by water all over the earth! Secondly about 90% (I couldn't remember the exact percentage) of all fossils are marine fossils, pointing to a Flood that the force of crushed them. Lastly, if there was no global flood, then Noah certainly wouldn't have had to build an ark and God's promise to never again flood the earth would have been broken by now if it was a local flood.* Why does science declare that energy cannot create itself and yet evolutionists tenaciously cling to the concept that life and inherently energy (for life is energy) did indeed create itself?* You guys miss completely the questions Kent Hovind asks! Can you explain why camels elephants, and mammoths are frozen in the ice at the south pole? I'd like to hear your answer for this...it will give me a good laugh!* You guys, explain the monkey to man thing, how dumb can it get! Those "skelotons" of monkey men are 99/100 made out of tar or something else. They took bones from humans and monkeys. How dumb can evolution get??* Your site has very many errors. Darwin did renounce evolution on his deathbed. It is true. I have read it in very many books.* I guess I don't understand why this web site would be produced to deny God and the Bible. The Bible teaches the humanities to it's fullest. Equality for the sexes and all races. Respect for the environment and animals. Respect for the homeless and those afflicted with disease. Love thy neighbor as thyself... etc.. What does evolution teach? There are higher evolved classes or races of people, (no equality here). Survival of the fittest, so let's burn all the trees and kill those who oppose us. When you die, you get buried in a plastic bag and that's it.. I don't dislike evolutionists, since I was one before, I guess I just don't understand why some people have a problem with what the Bible teaches. I mean really, why? What's the problem here? Ok, scientifically some things may be in question, but wouldn't you rather believe that some animals came from a boat than out of a rock?* One of my comments in the creation defense is this, many educated people once thought the earth was flat for many years. In the 1500's Galileo said the earth was round and was kind of laughed at. In 700's B.C. a man named Isaiah said "He(God) sits enthroned above the circle of the earth,..." Book of Isaiah ch 40 verse 22 That appears to me to be a definate statement saying the earth is round. That was a statement over 2200 yrs before Galileo but maybe its coincidence.......what about the bibles prophecy of a mark to come on the right hand or forehead in Revelation 13 verses 16,17? Being learned people i assume you all are i know you must have heard of the chip that can be put under the skin on the back of your hand which you can buy and sell with? What about the chip they put in a monkeys head so it could move a cursor with its thoughts? Think about that for a little while.....coincidence maybe but is it worth the risk?* If the grande canyon was formed over 3 million years or whatever, why are there no fossils in its rock.* Scientist around the world agree that the world slows down 1/1000th of a second every day. So we're going slower by a whole second every 1000 days. So, if we're slowing down, we must have been going faster in the past, right? Now, when life started to evolve, wouldn't it be hard for it to survive at all because of the larger gravitational force?* I believe in creation because i think all the scientist lie and are abunch of hoaxs. Not only do i believe it because of the scientists but because of the Bible. It shows you all the real evidence for creation in it. Evolution is a story,made by satan,to blind people from God. And those who believe it are plain STUPID. And here is my question for the coward who answers these questions. Question: How did we evolve from apes if there are still TONS of them on Earth?? --oh yah and i know all the real evidence for creation and they don't lie...YOU do! And if i get on here and this question isn't answered....i know that you don't know the question and know you can't answer it ya little sissy.* I just have to say that I find it is hilarious that the same believers in evolution, the same believers that think humans came from absolutely nothing, and there is no higher power behind our creation, those same people believe something as mundane and incomplex (complex to them) as crop circles must have come from a higher intelligence (aliens). Sure, our bodies are made up of a perfect working machine consisting of hundreds of systems, organs, and reactions working in perfect tandem, but CROP CIRCLES...they're...crops bent over in patterns!! they MUST have come from aliens!! i laugh and scoff at such a fool.* Evolution is based on survival of the fittest (natural selection) so how would nonliving substances (like the elements of the periodic table) fight for survival and how and what did they evolve from or to.* I read a question from one supporting evolution asking about why do some trees bear fruit. The reply was that it was advantageous for the tree as the animals would disperse the seeds further away, making it easier for the trees to grow. I'm sorry but I find this quite laughable. This site spends so much time talking about the ridiculousness of creationism, yet you believe that trees evolved with an intelligence that has a big overview of animals being able to help in its reproduction. Somehow these trees are able to communicate with these animals and say "Hey, what do you like to eat?" And then the animals say "apples." And then the tree goes ahead and makes them. Ridiculous. I'd like to see what evidence you have to back up your statements. Again, the evolution theory shows how loosely it it strung together. So sad that you accept it all as given fact.* Suppose there ever was a transitional species, where would this tranistional species get his wife?* How could the Grand Canyon have been formed over millions of years by a river that begins and flows 2,ooo plus feet below some of the higher drop-offs in the canyon? Did the water defy gravity for a few thousand years and flow up hill?* In High School I was given the example that when bacteria becomes resistant to antibodies thats evolution! Funny thing is when you understand it its actually the opposite of evolution. Because they lose the ability to do something which can actually cause them to become resistant. Thats the opposite of evolution* You claim that there was no worldwide flood (4400 years ago). If not why is the oldest desert less than 4400 years old? If not why is The Great Barrier Reef less than 4400 years old? If not why is the oldest tree less than 4400 years old? I have a suggestion, a worlwide flood occured 4400 years ago.* Darwin's famous finches are a wonderful example of MICROevolution. Macroevolution is impossible because mutations are NEVER beneficial. Any mutation remotely beneficial has awful side affects. The second law of Thermodynamics (the most rigirously tested law in science) prohibitsss macroevolution.* But, didn't "mainstream" science also believe that our solar system, the entire universe to be more precise, was geocentric? That the earth was flat, held up by giant turtles all the way down?* Ah, here I am, a lowly, barely out of high school, sixteen year old girl writing to such wise and "scientific" authors as yourselves. Forget the sarcasum, I'll get to my point:
How can it be that, me, a teenager(three strikes against me there), not very good at math, had trouble dealing with the principle of God, and who's only positive scientific background consists of one biology class, can see the pure riduculousness of evolution? It's true when you use those long, big, five-dollar, "scientific" words evolution makes PERFECT sense. Of course, you have to find the dictionary, spend and hour looking up the words, with the only result being a fierce headache and very unsettling feeling of being stupid. Now, if you put in simple terms so that everyone here can understand it, it comes out something like this:"Life began as one-celled animal which decided without a brain, to have a brain, arms, legs, sex, and to change species millons of times to become man." Makes perfect logical sense, right? How about this one "Matter is eternal" WHAT? How can matter be eternal? If matter is eternal then...hey...wait a second...I'm not going to die....WHAHOO!!!....I'm never going to the doctor again! Basicly, scientists belive that 0 plus 0 equals...something??? Whoa, Whoa, what happen to that second law of Thermodynamics, "Something comes from Something"?(to put it simply)It probably right out the window...* What about the foreward which is in Darwin's "Origins of Species" which basically says that evolution in no way can be proven? Also, you are getting away from the point, it doesn't really matter whether evolution occurred happened, it matters whether there is a God. I choose not to point every inaccuracy on your website but I will say this: shape up or a child will be able to humiliate you with simple things even children understand. Also, have you ever been to an asylum? (no point to anything, just wanting to know)* My question is why would any plant or animal want to reproduce if it would make more compotition for survival?* If the sun was millions of years old, when everything was created the sun would of been so close to the earth that it would of burned up the earth.* If you start with a single cell, how can it go against law (molecules slow down) and build itself up, not to mention the fact that in order for a species to be created, it must have a unique number of chromosomes equal to those of its "parent" so we cannot have come from a single cell??* No insults intended, but like when you try to point out that time and space came from nowhere, you're pushing against natural logic. Time did not create itself. And 'evolution's supposed claim that life somehow "created itself" is even more off bat. It's anti-logic, anti reality. Evolution is a religion.*: Why does an atom emit gravatational waves? Nothing has caused it to, but it does. According to evolution it does it's own thing.* if evolution is true, then how come horses exist?* I am confused as to why Darwin is ever associated with macroevolution (the evolution of one species into another) when he only supported microevolution (the evolution of one species within itself)! In chapter 6 of The Origin of Species on page 167 (6th edition, reprinted 1967) Darwin flat out states that it is "absurd in the highest possible degree" that the human eye could have been formed by natural secection. He also states on page 160 that he believes that "species come to be...well-defined objects, and do not at any one period present an inextricalbe choas of varying and intermediate links". Although he had breakthroughs in microevolutionary research, his findings led him to believe that macroevolution was absurd!* Did you know that when NASA was calculating dates to send up a satellite in orbit, they found there was a missing day in the rotations and revloutions of the Earth? They looked to the Bible for an answer and found that in the Bible, God stops the sun for "ABOUT a day".... the word ABOUT is the key. To make a long story short, they did some scientific stuff and calculated this to be only 23 hours and 20 minutes. There was still a missing 40 minutes. Again they went to the Bible and found another spot where the prophet Elijah asks God to move the sun backwards 10 degrees. 10 degrees is exactly 40 minutes, hence the missing day in the universe.* evolution also means tt only the fittest will survive.. so why izzit tt the monkeys or animals of our world have not died off since we are the "fittest" in the world?* If evolution is a fact can you explain the non existance of transitional life forms and the seemingly sudden appearence of all life and how about radio halos in rock formations with a halflife of less than 20 minutes what about the fact that not one life form has ever been found to have added d.n.a. information to its physical structure only rearanged information it allready had and many times this rearanging causses mutations that are harmfull to the organism and it is distroyed. This is just a start how could a bird only fly with one wing.* If life were not created, then why are living things referred to as "creatures?"* I think it's cheap that you just insist on creationists being liars when in fact (and I checked) many of their claims are substantiated. If people on either side of the fence would degrade to this inane behavior, maybe we should also call Stephen J. Gould a liar when he said that "transitional fossils" don't really exist.* A history of evolution and the decline of society go hand and hand. Evolutions entered schools shortly before WWI.* How can you call evolution a science? I'm looking at a dictionary right now and there is no mention of evolution under science.* If you beleive that human life started 3 million years ago we would have 150,000 people living per a square inch.* Science shows God even holds the atoms together though some of the partcicles have been positive charges and would push on each other. So making the Earth would be a lot easier for him than you think.* The whole world uses the seven day week as was predicted by the bible!* Carl Wieland (AiG CEO) : Demonstrating that speciation can happen in nature, especially where it can be shown to have happened rapidly, is thus a positive for creation theorists.* The THEORY of evolution was de-bunked in 1972 and the advent of atomic microscopes. Darwin himself said that is a simpole cel was not simple, had any moving parts, then he himself will claim his theory false.* The Rockefellers own most of the museums... Hidden away in those museum are records of the past which they do not want you to know about... they will never show you the bones of GIANT HUMANS which they have in abundance.* And finally, life itself cannot be explained by scientists or the medical profession. They haven't the foggiest notion what makes us ALIVE! They can only explain the physical aspects of living things... but not the life force itself.* Although Evolutionists will tell you with a straight face that an elephant mated with a mouse and a bald eagle was born, there has never been a case of different animals mating with each other, despite the fact of millions upon millions of different species.* Actually, what they have is a bunch of different skeltons that they have found. In a lot of cases they do not know if it is a man or a monkey. There are times when half the so called experts will say it is a monkey or an ape, the other half will say they think it is a man.* Darwin, was the same, his beliefs and writting were also clouded by his beliefs , in his sick mind and his intense hatred for God, and yes he had a intense hatred for God stated by him,both publicly and in writting, and it makes no sense to hate something that doesnt exist, so he must have known God existed... He didn't provide a 'mechanism' for anything, he hated God, and he set out to dis prove God... He stole ideas from others and twisted them into a therory that has no scienticfic proof, and is just another branch of religion, weither you worship tree elves, God, the starts or the big bang...* As for Occam's Razor, it 'proves' creation, being the simpler explanation. Huh? God created the world. Four words. Life evolved from carbon by pure chance. Seven words.* I am a Christian. My mind is closed to falsehood. A falsehood is anything that contridicts my belief. If you show me where in the Bible it says evolution occured I will become an evolutionist. That is the only way I will ever become one.* Also, the ridiculous number of people who would inhabit earth these days if the universe was more than 6,000 years old... For example, the population of the United States has doubled over the last 50 or so years... At a rate of doubling every 50 years, the world would go from 2 people to 8 billion people... in a mere 1600 years!! Can you IMAGINE if man had been around for 2 million years? Or even half that? Or even half of half? It's unfathomable. Absolutely unfathomable.* it states that we evolved in to what we are known to day (by scientist) as Homo sapiens sapiens and all the life forms before it have become extinct due to evolution, yet we are still able to see monkeys walking around to day in jungles, should they not be extinct?* They know that their own theories are being disproven, so each time this happens, they bring out a new theory. At one time or another, we have been descendants of apes, chimpanzees, flies, dinosaurs, fish, birds, ants, you name it ? they?ve said it.* the problem is that if human all follow evolution theory,then human suppose to be stupid and more stupid and our body and brain should become smaller and smaller until what you could imagine. This is because according to evolution theory, human evolve from big apes with huge head or brain and huge size of body, and if according to the speed of human evolve from ape,then now we should just like a small allien and not the one we look likes now where human become smarter and smarter..so I don't believe evolution works at all.* Our sun contains over 99% of the mass contained in the entire universe. That to me is incredible. Why our sun? Why not some other star?... Coincidence? Come on. Not even the most close-minded scientist can genuinely buy into that argument. It's there for a reason, and it's presence isn't random.* more and more it is seeming to be the Evolutionists... [are] just changing the theory again to match what they have found rather than just stopping..... and rather than letting the theory dictate the facts let the facts dictate the theory.* I understand the scientific method perfectly. It isn't a difficult concept. What continues to puzzle me is that most 'scientists' do not.* Problem 4 with evolution, Third LAW of Thermodynamics - object move towards chaos, not greater structure. BTW, problem 4 makes the theory invalid by itself.* Creation Science is not supposed to be 'intellectually honest' because it is not based on fallible human intellect. God is above and beyond logic and reason.* How is it impossible to flood the entire world?... Where do you think the rainbow came from? There is no scientific explanation.* It won't do any good to quibble about how 'successful' naturalisitc science has been. This can only be attributed to pure chance.* God says we came from dust and to dust we will return. Science says we came from primates. So when we die, do we return to dust or to primates?