It's a World Cup year!

Sign me up.And let's also sign one up to play in goal for England.

The fact of the matter is there were dozens, if not hundreds, of cameras pointing at the field at every possible angle, and not a single person in the world could see anything wrong with that goal... except the referee. In fact, like one of the coaches, I saw at least two penalty kick offenses committed by Slovenian players.

Yeah, I wrote that before the Algeria game. Sorry, dude. Can't wait to see how that turns out for you. "or something" will be better for you. The Dolphins will sadly give you the same frustrations as England in this World Cup.- Oni

In keeping with good business practices we need to inform you that a disclaimer was added to our offer in flight with your response. We apologize for any inconvenience this may yet cause you. Again we apologize for any inconvenience but after advancing your proposal to several associates we regret to inform you that none of our associates have agreed to participate on the losing side of this pending disaster. "Fuck off!" seems to be the consensus response.

I've heard that games aren't shown live in North Korea, as they won't allow their people to see them losing.I'd really love to know what excuse the North Korean authorities will come up with for not allowing their people to see the game against Portugal. Will they even tell them the score?Mind you, I think our government should start adopting the same tactics.Here are the results so far, according to the People's Republic of England:USA 0 ENGLAND 10 (Robert Green makes "save of century")ALGERIA 0 ENGLAND 27SLOVENIA 0 ENGLAND 3856

Yeah I hear that the Algerian gridiron team are fearsome....... On Wednesday afternoon I will be sitting with an aluminium saucepan on my head with a giant aerial attached and I will be sending out losing vibes to the wily Slovenians in a desperate bid to give England that much needed edge.I may even take up prayer.......

HOOOORAH!!!!! We're gonna win the world cup!!!!!!!And we've already beaten the mighty Slovenians!!!!!!!Whose next? Tell me the score now. I need to know.Do we annhilate Germany in the final after trouncing Brazil in the semis?

It is not the nation but the individual coaches and athletes I feel for.I do not want to imagine what they and their families may be in for when they get home.Such things are not unheard of in closed regimes. Source

Well at least that is a riposte that the average English football fan will be able to fully comprehend.

Blasphemy. And you're right, Cameroon should be proud, considering nearly all of the African teams, with the exception of Ghana, have been lackluster.

Hey AZPaul,If you watched the Port/N. Korea game today, you at least saw a "football" game.7-0.Looks like an old Packers/Bears football game to me.

[qs]Blasphemy. And you're right, Cameroon should be proud, considering nearly all of the African teams, with the exception of Ghana, have been lackluster.Ghana haven't impressed at all - they're not the team from four years ago. Ivory Coast have been quite good - they're the ones I really pity for the North Korea result. It's going to take a miracle for them to bear Portugal on goal difference.Cameroon also have little to be proud of. Their performance against Japan was shocking, but I'll give you that the Denmark game was fun to watch.

Here is the latest news from the Democratic People's Democratic People's Democratic Republic of Ingerlund:It was decided by FIFA that England are so good that all the other nations had to combine into a "Rest of the World Team" for the final. It was also decided that England were only allowed to play Robert Green on his own, and the Rest of the World were allowed to field 22 players in their team, and given a 44 goal head start. After 90 minutes and extra time, the score was 44-44 and a penalty shoot-out ensued. Green scored from the first penalty, after which they had to all move to the other goal as he had broken the net - and the other goalkeeper. He was asked to take it a bit easier for the remaining 2 penalties, which were all that was necessary, as he saved the first 3 taken by the Rest of the World with his feet while lying on the grass reading Kierkegaard's Concluding Unscientific Postscript to Philosophical Fragments.England have been given the World Cup to keep and the tournament has been abandoned forever as there is no chance of England ever failing to win again.Robert Green was shot at dawn the next day, for humiliating the nation by failing to win the match in normal time.And now, the weather...

Well, the French are out.Must make the Brits happy.Might soothe the pain of them having to pack their bags as well tomorrow.

Poetic justice is justly served, methinks.