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Author Topic:   Humor V
onifre
Member (Idle past 1025 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 211 of 647 (579189)
09-03-2010 7:39 PM
Reply to: Message 210 by hooah212002
09-03-2010 7:32 PM


Re: The humorous side of the Chilean mining disaster
Whoa whoa whoa there buddy. There are some hot fat bitches in WI. Just the way I like 'em.

Oh I am not above chubby chasin' bro. I imagine they're great in the cold winter months too. But in Miami, they're just sweaty and sticky over here.

- Oni


This message is a reply to:
 Message 210 by hooah212002, posted 09-03-2010 7:32 PM hooah212002 has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 212 by hooah212002, posted 09-03-2010 7:40 PM onifre has responded

  
hooah212002
Member
Posts: 3183
Joined: 08-12-2009


Message 212 of 647 (579192)
09-03-2010 7:40 PM
Reply to: Message 211 by onifre
09-03-2010 7:39 PM


Re: The humorous side of the Chilean mining disaster
Of course. They know how to cook and give the best head. You can't trust skinny girls to cook a good meal. Plus, they're comfy as hell to lay on.


Your god believes in Unicorns
This message is a reply to:
 Message 211 by onifre, posted 09-03-2010 7:39 PM onifre has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 213 by onifre, posted 09-03-2010 7:47 PM hooah212002 has responded

  
onifre
Member (Idle past 1025 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 213 of 647 (579196)
09-03-2010 7:47 PM
Reply to: Message 212 by hooah212002
09-03-2010 7:40 PM


Re: The humorous side of the Chilean mining disaster
Of course. They know how to cook and give the best head.

No argument from me on that, sir.

You can't trust skinny girls to cook a good meal.

No doubt, but latin women are far from what people consider skinny. And they can cook their ass off! Wait, we don't want that... they can cook very well.

Plus, they're comfy as hell to lay on.

So is a couch, but I wouldn't fuck it.

- Oni


This message is a reply to:
 Message 212 by hooah212002, posted 09-03-2010 7:40 PM hooah212002 has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 214 by hooah212002, posted 09-03-2010 7:58 PM onifre has responded

  
hooah212002
Member
Posts: 3183
Joined: 08-12-2009


Message 214 of 647 (579202)
09-03-2010 7:58 PM
Reply to: Message 213 by onifre
09-03-2010 7:47 PM


Re: The humorous side of the Chilean mining disaster
No doubt, but latin women are far from what people consider skinny.

I love me some big women, so when I say skinny, I mean the ones who don't have something somewhere on their body to grab onto. I'd guess around no less than 160-70. Of course, all of my recent lady friends have far surpassed that mark because I am far past that mark myself. Let's face it: big girls want it more and want YOU more. They're just happy to get any attention. Plus, if you get 'em before they lose the weight, they appreciate the fact that you got with 'em before they looked good. Get em while they're fat, it can only go uphill (unless you get that one broad who is going for the guinness world record of fattest bitch ever).

Edited by hooah212002, : forgot my sig

Edited by hooah212002, : there=their


Your god believes in Unicorns
This message is a reply to:
 Message 213 by onifre, posted 09-03-2010 7:47 PM onifre has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 215 by onifre, posted 09-03-2010 8:10 PM hooah212002 has acknowledged this reply

  
onifre
Member (Idle past 1025 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 215 of 647 (579209)
09-03-2010 8:10 PM
Reply to: Message 214 by hooah212002
09-03-2010 7:58 PM


Re: The humorous side of the Chilean mining disaster
Plus, if you get 'em before they lose the weight, they appreciate the fact that you got with 'em before they looked good.

A comic friend of mine calls it, "Getting them at pre-construction prices."

Get em while they're fat, it can only go uphill

Sounds counter-productive. Lol

- Oni


This message is a reply to:
 Message 214 by hooah212002, posted 09-03-2010 7:58 PM hooah212002 has acknowledged this reply

  
Theodoric
Member
Posts: 5953
From: Northwest, WI, USA
Joined: 08-15-2005
Member Rating: 2.6


Message 216 of 647 (579256)
09-03-2010 10:41 PM
Reply to: Message 209 by onifre
09-03-2010 6:42 PM


northern girls
Not all the beautiful women are in the warmer climes. Some of them actually stay in the frozen north. Besides when spring comes and they show more skin than their faces it is really hot.

Why do you think I take a trip to Vegas and a trip to the Caribbean every winter?


This message is a reply to:
 Message 209 by onifre, posted 09-03-2010 6:42 PM onifre has acknowledged this reply

  
Adminnemooseus
Director
Posts: 3879
Joined: 09-26-2002


Message 217 of 647 (579266)
09-03-2010 11:22 PM


Aren't you kids up after your bedtime?
This is a humor topic, not a place for you to drool.

If you really need this conversation, please take it to the Private Message system.

Short time closure coming now, so this message isn't overlooked.

Adminnemooseus


  
bluegenes
Member (Idle past 552 days)
Posts: 3119
From: U.K.
Joined: 01-24-2007


Message 218 of 647 (579434)
09-04-2010 4:24 PM



Meldinoor
Member (Idle past 2883 days)
Posts: 400
From: Colorado, USA
Joined: 02-16-2009


Message 219 of 647 (579583)
09-05-2010 3:41 AM


God gave us two ends for singing
From the wikipedia entry on flatulence:

Wikipedia writes:

Historical comment on the ability to fart at will is observed as early as St. Augustine's The City of God (5th century AD). Augustine mentions men who "have such command of their bowels, that they can break wind continuously at will, so as to produce the effect of singing." The fact that mankind in general has lost this ability he attributes to the first sin of Adam and Eve and its consequences with respect to body control.

What don't they blame on the Fall?

-Meldinoor


Replies to this message:
 Message 220 by AZPaul3, posted 09-05-2010 11:02 AM Meldinoor has responded

  
AZPaul3
Member
Posts: 3798
From: Phoenix
Joined: 11-06-2006
Member Rating: 3.0


Message 220 of 647 (579642)
09-05-2010 11:02 AM
Reply to: Message 219 by Meldinoor
09-05-2010 3:41 AM


Re: God gave us two ends for singing
Imagine what the Mormon Tabernacle Choir would sound like if it wasn't for that damn talking snake.

Of course they would need a more robust ventilation system lest the performance be cut quite short by the audience in mass regurgitation in the isles.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 219 by Meldinoor, posted 09-05-2010 3:41 AM Meldinoor has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 221 by bluegenes, posted 09-05-2010 11:35 AM AZPaul3 has responded
 Message 223 by Meldinoor, posted 09-05-2010 9:09 PM AZPaul3 has responded
 Message 233 by Blue Jay, posted 09-06-2010 4:19 PM AZPaul3 has responded

bluegenes
Member (Idle past 552 days)
Posts: 3119
From: U.K.
Joined: 01-24-2007


Message 221 of 647 (579648)
09-05-2010 11:35 AM
Reply to: Message 220 by AZPaul3
09-05-2010 11:02 AM


Re: God gave us two ends for singing
AZPaul3 writes:

Of course they would need a more robust ventilation system lest the performance be cut quite short by the audience in mass regurgitation in the isles.

Bad theology, surely.

Before the fall, farts smelled of roses, sweat smelled of lavender, and piss smelled like wine.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 220 by AZPaul3, posted 09-05-2010 11:02 AM AZPaul3 has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 222 by AZPaul3, posted 09-05-2010 11:39 AM bluegenes has not yet responded
 Message 224 by Omnivorous, posted 09-05-2010 9:25 PM bluegenes has not yet responded

AZPaul3
Member
Posts: 3798
From: Phoenix
Joined: 11-06-2006
Member Rating: 3.0


Message 222 of 647 (579650)
09-05-2010 11:39 AM
Reply to: Message 221 by bluegenes
09-05-2010 11:35 AM


Re: God gave us two ends for singing
Oh ... of course. My bad.

Never mind.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 221 by bluegenes, posted 09-05-2010 11:35 AM bluegenes has not yet responded

Meldinoor
Member (Idle past 2883 days)
Posts: 400
From: Colorado, USA
Joined: 02-16-2009


Message 223 of 647 (579742)
09-05-2010 9:09 PM
Reply to: Message 220 by AZPaul3
09-05-2010 11:02 AM


Re: God gave us two ends for singing
AZPaul3 writes:

Imagine what the Mormon Tabernacle Choir would sound like if it wasn't for that damn talking snake.

Maybe something like this: Britain's Got Talent 2009 - Mr Methane


This message is a reply to:
 Message 220 by AZPaul3, posted 09-05-2010 11:02 AM AZPaul3 has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 226 by AZPaul3, posted 09-06-2010 12:20 AM Meldinoor has not yet responded

  
Omnivorous
Member (Idle past 1042 days)
Posts: 3808
From: Adirondackia
Joined: 07-21-2005


Message 224 of 647 (579745)
09-05-2010 9:25 PM
Reply to: Message 221 by bluegenes
09-05-2010 11:35 AM


Re: God gave us two ends for singing
bluegenes writes:

and piss smelled like wine.

Huh.

I guess one out of three ain't bad.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 221 by bluegenes, posted 09-05-2010 11:35 AM bluegenes has not yet responded

  
Omnivorous
Member (Idle past 1042 days)
Posts: 3808
From: Adirondackia
Joined: 07-21-2005


Message 225 of 647 (579753)
09-05-2010 10:18 PM


Wiggle Stick
With Exodus' historicity and Wyatt's Wheels again under discussion, I'm reminded of the Biblical story, especially where one of Pharaoh's magicians throws down his staff and turns it into a snake.

As a child, I wondered what god had given the magician this power; surely not Yahweh, obviously, and certainly not Satan, since he was the serpent, so...? Sounded like a theological problem to me, and I treasured those.

I grew up around snake handlers. They were common in Harlan County, where I had family, and occasionally visited our neighborhood of mostly Appalachian transplants in Indy.

Raising the spirit on those summer nights could get pretty hot. It went something like this:


Have you ever been to an American wedding? Where's the vodka? Where's the marinated herring?!
-Gogol Bordello
  
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