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Author Topic:   Humor V
onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


(1)
Message 174 of 647 (578069)
08-31-2010 5:10 PM
Reply to: Message 173 by Omnivorous
08-31-2010 5:06 PM


You know, I hardly even notice the damned things anymore.
You know who did notice it? Chuck Norris!
- Oni

This message is a reply to:
 Message 173 by Omnivorous, posted 08-31-2010 5:06 PM Omnivorous has replied

Replies to this message:
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onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 179 of 647 (578084)
08-31-2010 5:39 PM
Reply to: Message 175 by bluegenes
08-31-2010 5:12 PM


Did you see God directing the whole show?
What do you mean by "god"?
- Oni

This message is a reply to:
 Message 175 by bluegenes, posted 08-31-2010 5:12 PM bluegenes has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 180 by bluegenes, posted 08-31-2010 5:44 PM onifre has replied

onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 181 of 647 (578087)
08-31-2010 5:50 PM
Reply to: Message 180 by bluegenes
08-31-2010 5:44 PM


The omnipresent fucker in your video.
Ah well, then yes. Kind of a wimpy voice for God, don't you think? I pictured more of a James Earl Jones type voice for God.
- Oni

This message is a reply to:
 Message 180 by bluegenes, posted 08-31-2010 5:44 PM bluegenes has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 182 by bluegenes, posted 08-31-2010 6:02 PM onifre has replied
 Message 183 by Omnivorous, posted 08-31-2010 6:03 PM onifre has replied

onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 185 of 647 (578096)
08-31-2010 6:08 PM
Reply to: Message 182 by bluegenes
08-31-2010 6:02 PM


If you're getting to the stage of picturing voices, you ought to stop smoking that stuff.
Or maybe you ought to start? "Come to the dark side" <-- Oni

This message is a reply to:
 Message 182 by bluegenes, posted 08-31-2010 6:02 PM bluegenes has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 187 by bluegenes, posted 08-31-2010 6:14 PM onifre has replied

onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 186 of 647 (578098)
08-31-2010 6:09 PM
Reply to: Message 183 by Omnivorous
08-31-2010 6:03 PM


I have nightmares that it's Woody Allen.
Almost to ironic if it was. Imagine, he wouldn't believe in himself.
- Oni

This message is a reply to:
 Message 183 by Omnivorous, posted 08-31-2010 6:03 PM Omnivorous has replied

Replies to this message:
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onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 188 of 647 (578101)
08-31-2010 6:19 PM
Reply to: Message 187 by bluegenes
08-31-2010 6:14 PM


I had to cut down sharply on such habits about 15 yrs. ago.
I like that you said, "cut down" rather than "do away with."
but I was hearing the scenery as well.
It sounds like Floyd, right?
- Oni

This message is a reply to:
 Message 187 by bluegenes, posted 08-31-2010 6:14 PM bluegenes has replied

Replies to this message:
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onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 197 of 647 (578403)
09-01-2010 5:31 PM
Reply to: Message 190 by Taz
08-31-2010 9:51 PM


Re: How women treat men
Very funny, Thanks for the video.
- Oni
Edited by onifre, : No reason given.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 190 by Taz, posted 08-31-2010 9:51 PM Taz has not replied

onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 205 of 647 (579114)
09-03-2010 5:05 PM
Reply to: Message 204 by Percy
09-03-2010 4:32 PM


Re: The humorous side of the Chilean mining disaster
We latins truly are ALL the same across the board!
Same thing happened to an uncle of mine; at his funeral there were two women crying. Who eventually got into a fist fight, at the funeral, over my uncle and who he really loved - Hair pulling, fists straight to beak, clothes almost coming off - Just two, old school, cuban ladies grabbing hair and blasting each other in the grill.
They were finally taken (by many men who also ate a few punches) outside and calmed down. They eventually started talking, explaning things to each other, realized it was my uncle who was the dick not any one of them, and let things go; he's dead and so be it....
...Until the third woman, also a girlfriend of my uncle, showed up. Then, in true latin fashion, the first two took turns kicking the shit out of the third one, together, like tag team partners.
We let that one go for a bit out of sheer amusement.
- Oni
Edited by onifre, : No reason given.
Edited by onifre, : No reason given.

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onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 207 of 647 (579151)
09-03-2010 6:05 PM
Reply to: Message 206 by Theodoric
09-03-2010 5:33 PM


Re: The humorous side of the Chilean mining disaster
My great-grandfather in Puerto Rico was of a similar bent. We know of about 22 children he had, by at least 6 women.
I really do think it has some biological connection to the caribbean and the way people behave in places wear not much clothing is required. I think, where people wear less clothes, they have way more sex. And the men in these places have an endless supply of gorgeous women, half naked all the time around them, to have their fill with. And, throw in poverty to the mix and the need for a man to take care of you, and you end up like your great-abuelo, or my uncle. The term in spanish is mujeriego.
People who's ancestors come from cold climates tend to not be as sexual, and this is purely speculative. But I notice, except for the fucking Duggars who are starting a new race of human, white people don't have as many kids as latins and blacks. They aren't as prone to the many mistresses deal, which is, sadly(?), quite typical amoung my peoples.
So, I really do think it's ingrained in our genetic make-up. Just don't try using that as an excuse when you get caught!
- Oni

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 Message 206 by Theodoric, posted 09-03-2010 5:33 PM Theodoric has replied

Replies to this message:
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onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 209 of 647 (579165)
09-03-2010 6:42 PM
Reply to: Message 208 by Theodoric
09-03-2010 6:30 PM


Re: The humorous side of the Chilean mining disaster
I can fight the genes.
Says the guy living in Wisconsin.
- Oni

This message is a reply to:
 Message 208 by Theodoric, posted 09-03-2010 6:30 PM Theodoric has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 210 by hooah212002, posted 09-03-2010 7:32 PM onifre has replied
 Message 216 by Theodoric, posted 09-03-2010 10:41 PM onifre has seen this message but not replied

onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 211 of 647 (579189)
09-03-2010 7:39 PM
Reply to: Message 210 by hooah212002
09-03-2010 7:32 PM


Re: The humorous side of the Chilean mining disaster
Whoa whoa whoa there buddy. There are some hot fat bitches in WI. Just the way I like 'em.
Oh I am not above chubby chasin' bro. I imagine they're great in the cold winter months too. But in Miami, they're just sweaty and sticky over here.
- Oni

This message is a reply to:
 Message 210 by hooah212002, posted 09-03-2010 7:32 PM hooah212002 has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 212 by hooah212002, posted 09-03-2010 7:40 PM onifre has replied

onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 213 of 647 (579196)
09-03-2010 7:47 PM
Reply to: Message 212 by hooah212002
09-03-2010 7:40 PM


Re: The humorous side of the Chilean mining disaster
Of course. They know how to cook and give the best head.
No argument from me on that, sir.
You can't trust skinny girls to cook a good meal.
No doubt, but latin women are far from what people consider skinny. And they can cook their ass off! Wait, we don't want that... they can cook very well.
Plus, they're comfy as hell to lay on.
So is a couch, but I wouldn't fuck it.
- Oni

This message is a reply to:
 Message 212 by hooah212002, posted 09-03-2010 7:40 PM hooah212002 has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 214 by hooah212002, posted 09-03-2010 7:58 PM onifre has replied

onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 215 of 647 (579209)
09-03-2010 8:10 PM
Reply to: Message 214 by hooah212002
09-03-2010 7:58 PM


Re: The humorous side of the Chilean mining disaster
Plus, if you get 'em before they lose the weight, they appreciate the fact that you got with 'em before they looked good.
A comic friend of mine calls it, "Getting them at pre-construction prices."
Get em while they're fat, it can only go uphill
Sounds counter-productive. Lol
- Oni

This message is a reply to:
 Message 214 by hooah212002, posted 09-03-2010 7:58 PM hooah212002 has seen this message but not replied

onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 239 of 647 (580339)
09-08-2010 6:24 PM
Reply to: Message 235 by Omnivorous
09-07-2010 6:24 PM


Re: Omnifre?
Omnifre? Are we as one, then?
Maybe that's why I feel so...funny.
Just relax and don't get paranoid. Is this your first time with thc in your system?
Hey, and if we're one, then you should have served at least 12 hours of my 24 hours suspension.
- Oni

This message is a reply to:
 Message 235 by Omnivorous, posted 09-07-2010 6:24 PM Omnivorous has replied

Replies to this message:
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onifre
Member (Idle past 2951 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 243 of 647 (580412)
09-08-2010 11:37 PM
Reply to: Message 242 by hooah212002
09-08-2010 11:09 PM


Re: This makes me want to participate:
Dude this had me rolling, hilarious!
- Oni

This message is a reply to:
 Message 242 by hooah212002, posted 09-08-2010 11:09 PM hooah212002 has seen this message but not replied

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