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Author | Topic: Humor V | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
onifre Member (Idle past 2951 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined:
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You know, I hardly even notice the damned things anymore. You know who did notice it? Chuck Norris! - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2951 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
Did you see God directing the whole show? What do you mean by "god"? - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2951 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
The omnipresent fucker in your video. Ah well, then yes. Kind of a wimpy voice for God, don't you think? I pictured more of a James Earl Jones type voice for God. - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2951 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
If you're getting to the stage of picturing voices, you ought to stop smoking that stuff. Or maybe you ought to start? "Come to the dark side" <-- Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2951 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
I have nightmares that it's Woody Allen. Almost to ironic if it was. Imagine, he wouldn't believe in himself. - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2951 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
I had to cut down sharply on such habits about 15 yrs. ago. I like that you said, "cut down" rather than "do away with."
but I was hearing the scenery as well. It sounds like Floyd, right? - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2951 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
Very funny, Thanks for the video.
- Oni Edited by onifre, : No reason given.
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onifre Member (Idle past 2951 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
We latins truly are ALL the same across the board!
Same thing happened to an uncle of mine; at his funeral there were two women crying. Who eventually got into a fist fight, at the funeral, over my uncle and who he really loved - Hair pulling, fists straight to beak, clothes almost coming off - Just two, old school, cuban ladies grabbing hair and blasting each other in the grill. They were finally taken (by many men who also ate a few punches) outside and calmed down. They eventually started talking, explaning things to each other, realized it was my uncle who was the dick not any one of them, and let things go; he's dead and so be it.... ...Until the third woman, also a girlfriend of my uncle, showed up. Then, in true latin fashion, the first two took turns kicking the shit out of the third one, together, like tag team partners. We let that one go for a bit out of sheer amusement. - Oni Edited by onifre, : No reason given. Edited by onifre, : No reason given.
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onifre Member (Idle past 2951 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
My great-grandfather in Puerto Rico was of a similar bent. We know of about 22 children he had, by at least 6 women. I really do think it has some biological connection to the caribbean and the way people behave in places wear not much clothing is required. I think, where people wear less clothes, they have way more sex. And the men in these places have an endless supply of gorgeous women, half naked all the time around them, to have their fill with. And, throw in poverty to the mix and the need for a man to take care of you, and you end up like your great-abuelo, or my uncle. The term in spanish is mujeriego. People who's ancestors come from cold climates tend to not be as sexual, and this is purely speculative. But I notice, except for the fucking Duggars who are starting a new race of human, white people don't have as many kids as latins and blacks. They aren't as prone to the many mistresses deal, which is, sadly(?), quite typical amoung my peoples. So, I really do think it's ingrained in our genetic make-up. Just don't try using that as an excuse when you get caught! - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2951 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
I can fight the genes. Says the guy living in Wisconsin. - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2951 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
Whoa whoa whoa there buddy. There are some hot fat bitches in WI. Just the way I like 'em. Oh I am not above chubby chasin' bro. I imagine they're great in the cold winter months too. But in Miami, they're just sweaty and sticky over here. - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2951 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
Of course. They know how to cook and give the best head. No argument from me on that, sir.
You can't trust skinny girls to cook a good meal. No doubt, but latin women are far from what people consider skinny. And they can cook their ass off! Wait, we don't want that... they can cook very well.
Plus, they're comfy as hell to lay on. So is a couch, but I wouldn't fuck it. - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2951 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
Plus, if you get 'em before they lose the weight, they appreciate the fact that you got with 'em before they looked good. A comic friend of mine calls it, "Getting them at pre-construction prices."
Get em while they're fat, it can only go uphill Sounds counter-productive. Lol - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2951 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
Omnifre? Are we as one, then? Maybe that's why I feel so...funny.
Just relax and don't get paranoid. Is this your first time with thc in your system? Hey, and if we're one, then you should have served at least 12 hours of my 24 hours suspension. - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2951 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
Dude this had me rolling, hilarious!
- Oni
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