Hrm, I deconverted a few months ago, and it's still very confusing for me. I planned to post her to talk about it, and this topic fits.
Even Mike's post makes me ponder for a bit, only for the news of the earthquake in Japan snapping me back into reality. I've got several arguments for atheism, and together with this earthquake, all this talk about a loving God seems alien.
Going to quote something I wrote on a social forum yesterday.
'' My grandfather married for the second time today. I was in church, and I felt rather uncomfortable. Being in a church I don't know, plus God being treated as reality, and the reading of a bible text from Paul about how much peace believing brings... It has a psychological effect on me. A weird feeling, higher heartbeat, etc. It didn't feel positive, but is was enough to confuse me about my beliefs again. When it was over, I realized the compulsive feeling felt similar to the disturbing feeling I get when I get religious compulsions. Today's was strong, but this happens more often when I'm in a situation that has a psychological religious trigger of some sort. I know it's rationally possible for it to happen, but it still is very difficult to deal with. Thing is, sometimes I also get it in a mild way when reading Islam related statements. I also had it a 2 weeks ago when reading something about SCIENTOLOGY, to my amusement when I caught wind of it.>_>
Yeah, I guess religion has that effect on me.. It sucks and it throws me of balance every time.. >_< Has anyone got this as well in the past?''
I suffered from religous obsessive compulsive disease before, and it still haunts me sporadically. Because of this, I'm rather cynical about people talking about how the holy spirit aids them.
I normally tend to detail my posts more,but I'm tired at this moment, and I have a need to talk to experienced people about the matter. I can provide a link to my full story I wrote in the ''deconversion experiences'' topic, should it be needed.
™ Version 4.2
