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Author | Topic: Atheism and family shame | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Briterican Member (Idle past 3976 days) Posts: 340 Joined: |
AZPaul3 writes: You're the one with his head on straight. And since you love them all you can do is sigh and let it be. That's precisely how I view it now... although it doesn't really help to take away the frustration. I'm not on a mission to convert any of them and they know that. I am mainly frustrated by some comments that made me feel as though I am a disappointment in some way. I guess I sorta feel like ...... a pariah lol. Meanwhile I don't think I OUGHT to feel that way... and yet I do. I should probably count myself lucky in a way for being 4,000 kilometres away from the people involved. Things might have been even more unpleasant if we'd had these conversations face to face rather than over Facebook. Good luck to anyone else with similar pariah feelings, and thanks for your replies
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Taq Member Posts: 10081 Joined: Member Rating: 5.1 |
Anger because I should be able to express my feelings/opinions on my own wall in Facebook without repercussion. That would be the first mistake. In any society there are repercussions for things we do. A free society is not one where there are no repercussions for things we say. A free society is one where we are not prevented from saying them, nor are we jailed as a result of saying them (except in cases of libel/slander, inciting riot, etc.).
Resentment because I feel like my mother is disappointed in me due to my atheism, whereas in my opinion she should be proud that I am thinking for myself rather than just following the flock. You will find that following the flock is what a lot of theists are proud of. I think you are expecting your mother to have the same values as you do when she doesn't. I have run into the same "problems" with my family as well. I found that things were a lot better once the initial shock dissipated. What your mother will find is that you are still the wonderful little boy that she has always been proud of, even if you don't share the same religious beliefs. Also, it might help if you kindly ask your mother to unfriend you on Facebook. "Don't ask, don't tell" is the best policy I have found for atheist black sheep like ourselves.
So... I wish that my mother could be very, very proud of me... I have no doubt that she is proud. Just give her time.
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RAZD Member (Idle past 1433 days) Posts: 20714 From: the other end of the sidewalk Joined:
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Hey Briterican,
... some comments that made me feel as though I am a disappointment in some way. I take this as a sign that you think for yourself, something we all should feel free to do. It's like the rating buttons here: the should be about content, accuracy, and well developed arguments, independent of topic. What they are however is approval ratings, and people that do not approve of your argument regardless of content, accuracy, and well developed arguments will mark it low, while marking a rather inane comment they agree with high. The way I see it, is that if I don't get some low marks then I am not annoying some people that should be annoyed: it should make them think about their position. Enjoy. by our ability to understand Rebel American Zen Deist ... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ... to share. Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click)
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Peter Member (Idle past 1507 days) Posts: 2161 From: Cambridgeshire, UK. Joined: |
I pointed out one time that my atheism made me a 'better' person than a particulary irritating person I was talking to (happened to be a christain -- not why they were irritating though).
The conversation had turned to morality and religion (after a few beers curiously) and I made the simple point that due to my atheism I choose to behave in a (generally) socially responsible way purely because that was my choice, while they acted in a way deemed 'good' only because they didn't want to upset their god and be eternally damned. Didn't go down too well -- and the whole 'bu tyou could go out raping and murdering and it wouldn't matter' thing ... to which I replied 'It would matter to me.' Atheism, fundamentally, is a religous belief in the same way as Islam, Judaism, Christianity or IDism ... based on faith not evidence. That means that in the US, atheists should be accorded the right to their belief as equals amongst other religions ... does that happen in the US? Unfortunately having opinions is guaranteed to upset some-one, sometime.
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purpledawn Member (Idle past 3485 days) Posts: 4453 From: Indiana Joined: |
I finally joined facebook only because I can't seem to get family members to email photos to me. They can plop them on facebook, but can't seem to email them.
Annoying because I made sure everyone got photos back when we had to actually snail mail them. Now it's digital and easy and they can't be bothered. I don't share info on facebook. I'm more of a "listener". It amazes me the drivel people write. My niece made a comment concerning Wicca and her fraternal aunt and cousin (uber-Christians) jumped on her and were all ready to drive over and pray for her and save her from ruining her life. She was just discussing not claiming to follow. Little do they know I had encouraged her to learn about other religions. That's one of the problems with some Christians. They feel they need to "fix" those who don't conform. It is a shame that family members would distance themselves from a loved one because of a difference of opinion. Life is too short.
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frako Member (Idle past 333 days) Posts: 2932 From: slovenija Joined: |
Hahaha lol u crayze Americans. She should have replied your prayers are for not because i sacrificed my cat to satan and if you pray some more il sacrifice you and eat your hart followed by a demonic laugh
after that they would probably go of like this Seriously atheists should leave America and come to some enlightened country that do sent give a crap about religion
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Taz Member (Idle past 3319 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
There's a reason why I don't have a facebook account. Also there's a reason why I don't share my opinion on politics, philosophy, and religion to anyone except my wife. Hell, I wasn't even born me and I don't share that fact with anyone I know.
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frako Member (Idle past 333 days) Posts: 2932 From: slovenija Joined: |
i think this video fits rather nicely
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Taz Member (Idle past 3319 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
That's a very interesting video.
Atheists are the most discriminated against group in our society. We are so discriminated against that even mainstream media doesn't see our oppression as discrimination. They see it as a normal part of life. They see nothing wrong with us being unelectable for simply being atheist. Atheists and Asian males are the only groups right now that are discriminated against without being recognized as being discriminated against. Asian males are viewed as sexually incompetent and, sometimes, even asexual. The only Asian male characters in movies with women are bad guys. Off the top of my head, I can think of no hollywood movie that has the Asian male character as the hero who gets the girl. This is something that the Asian community has been saying for years but, like always, is largely ignored by mainstream media. Even when they made a movie based on a cartoon character, who happens to be Asian, they still have a white guy play that character. So, his ancestors, parents, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, etc. were all Asian. But since he's the hero of the story he's gotta be white. Try to guess what movie I'm talking about. Atheists are seen as immoral and untrustworthy. We are unelectable when it comes to politics. Mainstream society view us as hellbound. And the sad thing is mainstream media doesn't even see all of this as discrimination. They see absolutely nothing wrong with the part where you have to be a christian in order to get elected. Edited by Taz, : No reason given.
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Rahvin Member Posts: 4042 Joined: Member Rating: 7.7 |
I don't know that that's true, Taz. We're the least trusted demographic, but not necessarily the most discriminated against, primarily because the difference that sets us apart from the theistic majority isn't readily visible.
You won't often find an atheist receiving fewer opportunities for employment, for example, or getting paid less than peers. You will find women and racial minorities and sexual orientations and transgendered individuals who have those problems. Granted, we feel discriminated against because of the overwhelming pressure from theists who want to push all of their beliefs into the public forum on the public dime, like posting the Ten Commandments in courthouses, claiming the US is a "Christian Nation," and so on. Atheists also get some pretty harsh resistance sometimes in the armed forces. But I'm a white male atheist. I can pass for a WASP without even trying, and in fact that's what most people just assume I am. The KKK hates Atheists (and Jews and homosexuals and of course blacks and just about everyone else who isn't a WASP...), but I could walk right past a rally and never hear anything directed at me. A black person walking by the same rally would have a...different experience. That the majority of people think we're all going to their imagined "hell" could be considered analogous to widespread acceptance of a slur against a minority...but the fact that we can;t be immediately recognized as Atheists means that it's a generalized oppression, rather than the very specific nastiness that various others have to face. On what are you basing the claim that we receive more discrimination than any other minority group?
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Taz Member (Idle past 3319 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
Rahvin writes:
That's because being an atheist isn't a visible thing unless you make it visible. Pretty much all atheists I know prefer to keep this belief under wraps.
You won't often find an atheist receiving fewer opportunities for employment, for example, or getting paid less than peers. You will find women and racial minorities and sexual orientations and transgendered individuals who have those problems. That the majority of people think we're all going to their imagined "hell" could be considered analogous to widespread acceptance of a slur against a minority...but the fact that we can;t be immediately recognized as Atheists means that it's a generalized oppression, rather than the very specific nastiness that various others have to face.
Because discrimination of other minority groups will eventually go away. Ours won't. Here are some steps to rid of discrimination. On what are you basing the claim that we receive more discrimination than any other minority group?
Step(1) Recognize that there's discrimination. Discrimination against atheists are not recognized by anyone except for us. Nobody sees what's happening to us as discrimination. (2) Recognize that the discrimination is visible. Since nobody is willing to recognize that us being unelectable is discrimination, there's no effort to see the discrimination itself. Our discrimination is also very subtle. The only reason the civil rights movement ever succeeded was because the discrimination was so cut and dry that any bonehead could recognize it. You can't say the same about discrimination against atheists. This is why I brought in Asian males as a comparison. Off the top of your head, how many movies can you think of that has the Asian male character as the hero and also gets the girl? That's an intricate part of our culture. And as long as nobody is willing to give the girl to an Asian hero, they'll always be viewed as somehow less than white males or black males. Even the black community is feeling the new invisible discrimination. Look up micro-aggressionism. This new invisible form of discrimination won't be so easy to get rid of because it can't be so readily recognized. (3) There's a will to make things better. Since nobody is willing to see that certain groups are being discriminated against (atheists, Asian males, etc.) there's no societal will to make things better. Also, this is the one area where we don't expect to find many allies because we're all going to hell anyway, or so they think. (4) Riot! Let's admit it. The only reason why we don't say "the n word" is we're afraid of what they'll do to us. Even the gays have had riots in the past. There's never been an Asian race riot. And heck, there's never been any atheist riot. Why would anyone want to make things better for us if they're not afraid of what we might do? And don't try to deny that you're afraid of what black people might do the next time they see a Rodney King or some news person saying "nigger". (5) Getting our people elected. What are the chances you think we'll have an atheist president in our lifetime or the next 5 lifetimes? The blacks, women, catholics, etc. have had their people elected into positions of power. Heck, even the gays have begun to have some success in this area. And yes, I love Barney Frank. Isn't it sad that all our political opponent has to do to kick us out of a race is point out that we don't believe in that horny man in the clouds? ***** In other words, the reason why I think we are the most discriminated against group is it's a subtle discrimination that will never ever go away... ever. It's like a small infection that never gets treated versus, say, a broken leg that got the attention of every doctor in ER. Sure, we'll be able to live with it. But once society has gotten rid of all visible forms of discrimination, discrimination against atheists will still remain.
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xongsmith Member Posts: 2587 From: massachusetts US Joined: Member Rating: 6.4 |
Taz writes: What are the chances you think we'll have an atheist president in our lifetime or the next 5 lifetimes? Actually this may have already occurred. FDR, caught when the tape ran longer than his radio address to the Nation, was heard to mutter "..are we done with all the God shit now?" Nixon was also one who likely only put up a fascade. And the current president is also probably just paying political lip service. Why else would he not have heard all those sermons? How does an outed atheist president end his speeches? Maybe "May the love of mankind bless the Untied States".... - xongsmith, 5.7d
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Taz Member (Idle past 3319 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
Even if this was true, so what? They were closeted atheists. They don't count.
Edit. Not that I doubt you, but do you have a link about FDR? I'm interested to read about it and all the speculations. I can't find anything on google. Edited by Taz, : No reason given.
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frako Member (Idle past 333 days) Posts: 2932 From: slovenija Joined: |
No such problems in my country about atheists at least we do not have many Asian, black or other kind of immigrants though we do have a black mayor (in a country where you can count the number of black people on your fingers)
As fare as atheist goes we have alot of them in our politics id say up to 40-50%, we had even weirder people then atheists one of our presidents was way into alternative medicine he was visiting shamans all over the world though he had cancer and eventually died of it so i dont blame him for grasping at straws he was a ql guy to, fired allot of guys per email made me laugh every time.(cause he was an old dude that should not be able to use a computer )
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Taz Member (Idle past 3319 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
Nobody cares about slovenia. Heck most people don't even know it exists. If I weren't a geography junky I would have thought it was in eastern europe instead of east of italy.
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