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Author Topic:   Humour VI
fearandloathing
Member (Idle past 4145 days)
Posts: 990
From: Burlington, NC, USA
Joined: 02-24-2011


(1)
Message 136 of 553 (617153)
05-26-2011 9:02 AM


Marbles
1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.
3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.
And....
6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.
THE AMAZING CONCLUSION:
The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.
There must be a ton of people in Washington playing marbles!

"I hate to advocate the use of drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson
Ad astra per aspera
Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione.

Replies to this message:
 Message 141 by bluescat48, posted 05-28-2011 1:52 AM fearandloathing has seen this message but not replied

Trae
Member (Idle past 4306 days)
Posts: 442
From: Fremont, CA, USA
Joined: 06-18-2004


Message 137 of 553 (617213)
05-26-2011 4:04 PM
Reply to: Message 130 by frako
05-24-2011 6:11 PM


frako writes:
On the one hand i really hope this is satire, on the other i know some nut jobs believe whats in the video.
Who can tell. The account says that the videos were originally by someone else with this handle but who left. The current account also claims it is being ran by a Christian who believes Evolution to be wrong.
I presume it was originally a satire (though it appears that the original AmazingBeliver was a fundy). My assumption is that Discovery Institute didn’t make the video.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 130 by frako, posted 05-24-2011 6:11 PM frako has not replied

frako
Member (Idle past 306 days)
Posts: 2932
From: slovenija
Joined: 09-04-2010


Message 138 of 553 (617277)
05-27-2011 5:57 AM
Reply to: Message 125 by Taz
05-23-2011 1:08 PM


Re: Basil Marceaux dot Com
Thee best candidate evar

This message is a reply to:
 Message 125 by Taz, posted 05-23-2011 1:08 PM Taz has not replied

fearandloathing
Member (Idle past 4145 days)
Posts: 990
From: Burlington, NC, USA
Joined: 02-24-2011


Message 139 of 553 (617291)
05-27-2011 10:13 AM


Have a Little Respect

"I hate to advocate the use of drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson
Ad astra per aspera
Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione.

fearandloathing
Member (Idle past 4145 days)
Posts: 990
From: Burlington, NC, USA
Joined: 02-24-2011


Message 140 of 553 (617293)
05-27-2011 10:22 AM


Spreading the Word

"I hate to advocate the use of drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson
Ad astra per aspera
Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione.

bluescat48
Member (Idle past 4189 days)
Posts: 2347
From: United States
Joined: 10-06-2007


Message 141 of 553 (617379)
05-28-2011 1:52 AM
Reply to: Message 136 by fearandloathing
05-26-2011 9:02 AM


Re: Marbles
ROFLMAO! Keyewt!!

There is no better love between 2 people than mutual respect for each other WT Young, 2002
Who gave anyone the authority to call me an authority on anything. WT Young, 1969
Since Evolution is only ~90% correct it should be thrown out and replaced by Creation which has even a lower % of correctness. W T Young, 2008

This message is a reply to:
 Message 136 by fearandloathing, posted 05-26-2011 9:02 AM fearandloathing has seen this message but not replied

fearandloathing
Member (Idle past 4145 days)
Posts: 990
From: Burlington, NC, USA
Joined: 02-24-2011


Message 142 of 553 (617384)
05-28-2011 10:00 AM


Sarah
''If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?''
Sarah Palin, in ''Going Rogue''
''I want to help clean up the state that is so sorry today of journalism. And I have a communications degree.''
Sarah Palin, Fox News interview with Sean Hannity, Nov. 22, 2010
''They're in charge of the U.S. Senate so if they want to they can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family and his classroom.''
Sarah Palin, getting the vice president's constitutional role wrong after being asked by a third grader what the vice president does, interview with NBC affiliate KUSA in Colorado, Oct. 21, 2008

"I hate to advocate the use of drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson
Ad astra per aspera
Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione.

Replies to this message:
 Message 143 by Shield, posted 05-28-2011 2:50 PM fearandloathing has replied

Shield
Member (Idle past 2862 days)
Posts: 482
Joined: 01-29-2008


Message 143 of 553 (617398)
05-28-2011 2:50 PM
Reply to: Message 142 by fearandloathing
05-28-2011 10:00 AM


Re: Sarah
fearandloathing writes:
''If God had not intended for us to eat animals, how come He made them out of meat?''
Sarah Palin, in ''Going Rogue''
I would love to see the context of that quote.. It must have been part of a joke or something. I know she's stupid, but there has to be a limit.
Edited by rbp, : No reason given.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 142 by fearandloathing, posted 05-28-2011 10:00 AM fearandloathing has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 144 by fearandloathing, posted 05-28-2011 2:56 PM Shield has replied
 Message 148 by dwise1, posted 05-28-2011 6:05 PM Shield has not replied

fearandloathing
Member (Idle past 4145 days)
Posts: 990
From: Burlington, NC, USA
Joined: 02-24-2011


Message 144 of 553 (617399)
05-28-2011 2:56 PM
Reply to: Message 143 by Shield
05-28-2011 2:50 PM


Re: Sarah
I'm sure.
Some good Obama ones floating around too, he is next, lol

"I hate to advocate the use of drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson
Ad astra per aspera
Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 143 by Shield, posted 05-28-2011 2:50 PM Shield has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 146 by Shield, posted 05-28-2011 4:18 PM fearandloathing has seen this message but not replied

fearandloathing
Member (Idle past 4145 days)
Posts: 990
From: Burlington, NC, USA
Joined: 02-24-2011


Message 145 of 553 (617401)
05-28-2011 3:18 PM


Obama
''The Middle East is obviously an issue that has plagued the region for centuries.''
Barack Obama, Tampa, Fla., Jan. 28, 2010

"I hate to advocate the use of drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson
Ad astra per aspera
Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione.

Shield
Member (Idle past 2862 days)
Posts: 482
Joined: 01-29-2008


Message 146 of 553 (617404)
05-28-2011 4:18 PM
Reply to: Message 144 by fearandloathing
05-28-2011 2:56 PM


Re: Sarah
fearandloathing writes:
I'm sure.
Some good Obama ones floating around too, he is next, lol
I was actually hoping you had the entire section from the book
And yeah, All people say stupid shit, and get quoted.
Its just that some are worse than others. Sarah Palin does seem to be the master of silly/stupid quotes. Not even young George or Dan Quayle compares.
Bush and Quayle, atleast i think, werent completely stupid, i think both were pretty smart. Palin on the other hand, have no knowledge about the world that surrounds her, or the political system she is part of.
Edited by rbp, : No reason given.

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 Message 144 by fearandloathing, posted 05-28-2011 2:56 PM fearandloathing has seen this message but not replied

Replies to this message:
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frako
Member (Idle past 306 days)
Posts: 2932
From: slovenija
Joined: 09-04-2010


Message 147 of 553 (617413)
05-28-2011 5:17 PM
Reply to: Message 146 by Shield
05-28-2011 4:18 PM


Re: Sarah
I loved to ylugh at bush why dont you have more people like that anymore
human beings and fish can coexist peacefully
is our children learning
you work hard to put food on your family
The or when he and the German chancler where discussing iraq the only thing on his mind was that they where going to eat pork later (guess he was hungry)
....
Tones of fun he was.

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Replies to this message:
 Message 149 by fearandloathing, posted 05-28-2011 6:09 PM frako has replied

dwise1
Member
Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


Message 148 of 553 (617414)
05-28-2011 6:05 PM
Reply to: Message 143 by Shield
05-28-2011 2:50 PM


Re: Sarah
Actually, I remember that as a bumper sticker from half a decade ago:
quote:
If God hadn't intended us to eat animals, then why did He make them out of food?
The other bumper sticker of that time is:
quote:
I still miss my ex-wife ... but my aim is improving.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 143 by Shield, posted 05-28-2011 2:50 PM Shield has not replied

fearandloathing
Member (Idle past 4145 days)
Posts: 990
From: Burlington, NC, USA
Joined: 02-24-2011


Message 149 of 553 (617415)
05-28-2011 6:09 PM
Reply to: Message 147 by frako
05-28-2011 5:17 PM


Just for you Frako
Not to many jokes about your country, well....you might find them funnier then I do.
Jokes about Slovenia
If you open an umbrella in the street of Ljubljana, be careful not to hurt somebody's eye in Maribor.
Why don't the ski jumpers in Planica do more than 250 meters?
Because they would fly to Italy?!?
The shortest joke in the world: "A couple is walking along the Slovenian coast..."
What's the color of the Slovenian patrol boats?
Both of them are blue.
Slovenians don't need mobile phones.
They can communicate yodeling from one end of the country to the other.
What do the Slovenes need radars for?
Just for fun.
How do Slovenes change gears in car?
First, second, BORDER!
You can catch all fish in Slovene sea just by using tennis net.
It is forbidden to do a split with your legs in Slovenia. That way you can already cross the border.
How many Slovenes know how to walk?
All three of them.
How did the Slovenes solve the internet connection problem?
They put one access in Ljubljana and one in Maribor.
What do Slovenes do to control their air space and transport?
They put a soldier on top of the Triglav Mountain.
Why is it forbidden to jump into swimming pools in Slovenia?
Because Italians would complain about water splashing.

"I hate to advocate the use of drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson
Ad astra per aspera
Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 147 by frako, posted 05-28-2011 5:17 PM frako has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 150 by frako, posted 05-28-2011 6:22 PM fearandloathing has replied
 Message 152 by dwise1, posted 05-28-2011 7:00 PM fearandloathing has seen this message but not replied

frako
Member (Idle past 306 days)
Posts: 2932
From: slovenija
Joined: 09-04-2010


Message 150 of 553 (617416)
05-28-2011 6:22 PM
Reply to: Message 149 by fearandloathing
05-28-2011 6:09 PM


Re: Just for you Frako
good ones you probably got them from a Croatian , we are a small country what can we do in every ware someone takes a piece of our land. and usually it gets taken by the loosing side go figure.
. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
11. Only in America......can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House.
Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed.One of them said, "I'm the best plastic surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England."
One of the others said. "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in 5 field events in the Olympics."
The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a cowboy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a cowboy hat. Now he's President of the United States!"
Ok these where stolen from joke sites now for some of our jokes about americans
A Texan comes to Slovenia and he takes a cab driving around our capitol he asks what is that?
The cab driver anwsers thats the stadium and a companys building. The texan replys we in america build things like this in one weak
A while later he asks what is that?
Those are fairgrounds where companies from all over the world show their goods
The Texan replays we build fairgrounds like that in one weak
The taxi driver is starting to get pissed as they pass a cathedral and the Texan asks what is that? the cab driver reply s dunno that wasn't here this morning.
Edited by frako, : No reason given.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 149 by fearandloathing, posted 05-28-2011 6:09 PM fearandloathing has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 151 by fearandloathing, posted 05-28-2011 6:32 PM frako has replied

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