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Author | Topic: Humour VI | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
frako Member (Idle past 327 days) Posts: 2932 From: slovenija Joined: |
16-12-100.1. (6) 'Sadomasochistic abuse' means flagellation or torture by or upon a person who is nude or clad in undergarments or in revealing or bizarre costume or the condition of being fettered, bound, or otherwise physically restrained on the part of one so clothed. Georgia. Dont go around handcuffing clowns.
The value of Pi is 3. *Not an actual law* Was proposed in the 1897 session of the Indiana General Assembly. Engrossed Bill No. 246. The bill was passed in the house of representatives, but it was indefinately postponed in the Senate. That status remains today. LOL someone hat math trouble.
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frako Member (Idle past 327 days) Posts: 2932 From: slovenija Joined: |
fearandloathing
Only 2 things in life are cretin Death And Taxes
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frako Member (Idle past 327 days) Posts: 2932 From: slovenija Joined: |
Some funny warnings
Warning: Never iron clothes on the body. Rowenta Iron The following is found on page 4 of the instruction book: To place or answer a call, lift the handset.To place a call, dial the desired number. To end the call, hang up the handset. To put a call on Hold: Press Hold. Lucent Technologies Model 6210 Telephone Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. Child-Sized Superman Costume Suitable for vegetarians. Sainsburys Mineral Water Bottle exclusively designed for the use of Volvic Natural Mineral Water. Do not refill. Volvic Natural Mineral Water Warning: Remove label before placing in microwave. Moet White Star Champagne Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. American Airlines Peanuts Warning: This product contains nuts. Sainsbury Peanuts Ingredient: Sugar Domino Pire Cane Granulated Sugar Use of this product may be hazardous to your health. This product contains Saccharin, which has been determined to cause cancer in laboratory animals. Carefree Gum This formula may cause drowsiness, if affected do not operate heavy machinery or drive a vehicle. Demazin Infant Drops Do not drive a car or run machinery. Boot’s Childrens Cough Medicine Do not take if allergic to zantac. Zantac 75 This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark Komatsu Floodlight Not Dishwasher Safe RCA Television Remote Control To prevent possible injury, do not apply the hose or the lid sealer to any part of the body while vacuum pump is in operation. Foodsealer (Vacuum seals foods) Warning to tourists: don’t laugh at the natives. Highway 26, Idaho Falls, Idaho WARNING: This bag is not a toy. McDonald’s Power Rangers Toy Some assembly required. 500-piece puzzle Warning: Do not attempt to remove blade while lawnmower is running or plugged into an outlet. Craftsman Push Mower Do not attempt to stop chain with hands. Jonsreds Chainsaw
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Shield Member (Idle past 2883 days) Posts: 482 Joined: |
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frako Member (Idle past 327 days) Posts: 2932 From: slovenija Joined: |
Add Fails
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fearandloathing Member (Idle past 4166 days) Posts: 990 From: Burlington, NC, USA Joined: |
"I hate to advocate the use of drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson Ad astra per aspera Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione.
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hooah212002 Member (Idle past 822 days) Posts: 3193 Joined: |
S.E. Cupp on a rage comic? Ready yer harpoons!
"Why don't you call upon your God to strike me? Oh, I forgot it's because he's fake like Thor, so bite me" -Greydon Square
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fearandloathing Member (Idle past 4166 days) Posts: 990 From: Burlington, NC, USA Joined: |
"I hate to advocate the use of drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson Ad astra per aspera Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione.
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Taz Member (Idle past 3312 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
Dramatic Reading Of Weiner's Messages - Bill Maher & Jane Lynch
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frako Member (Idle past 327 days) Posts: 2932 From: slovenija Joined: |
Lol goto love futurama
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hooah212002 Member (Idle past 822 days) Posts: 3193 Joined: |
"Why don't you call upon your God to strike me? Oh, I forgot it's because he's fake like Thor, so bite me" -Greydon Square |
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fearandloathing Member (Idle past 4166 days) Posts: 990 From: Burlington, NC, USA Joined: |
quote: This ancient rendering is thought to be Jesus' own Jesus stick. It could also possibly be an ancient sex toy. Edited by fearandloathing, : No reason given. "I hate to advocate the use of drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson Ad astra per aspera Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione.
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fearandloathing Member (Idle past 4166 days) Posts: 990 From: Burlington, NC, USA Joined: |
"I hate to advocate the use of drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson Ad astra per aspera Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione.
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rueh Member (Idle past 3682 days) Posts: 382 From: universal city tx Joined: |
God
said, "Adam, I want you to do something for Me." Adamsaid, "Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?" Godsaid, "Go down into that valley." Adam said, "What'sa valley?" God explained it tohim. Then God said, "Cross the river." Adam said, "What's ariver?" God explained thatto him, and then said, "Go over to the hill...." Adam said, "What is ahill?" So, God explained toAdam what a hill was. He told Adam, "On the other side of the hill you will find a cave." Adam said, 'What's acave?' After God explained,He said, "In the cave you will find a woman." Adam said, "What's awoman?' So God explained that to him, too.Then, God said, 'I want you to reproduce." Adam said, "How doI do that?" God first said (underHis breath), "Geez....." And then,just like everything else, God explained that to Adam, as well. So, Adam goes downinto the valley, across the river, andover the hill, into the cave, and finds the woman. Then, inabout five minutes, he was back. God,His patience wearing thin, said angrily, "What is it now?" And Adam said....What's a headache? 'Qui non intelligit, aut taceat, aut discat' The mind is like a parachute. It only works when it is open.-FZ The industrial revolution, flipped a bitch on evolution.-NOFX |
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rueh Member (Idle past 3682 days) Posts: 382 From: universal city tx Joined:
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A real woman is a man's best friend.
She will never stand him up and never let him down. She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day. She will inspire him to do things he never thought he could do; to live without fear and forget regret. She will enable him to express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires. She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible... No wait...Sorry. I'm thinking of beer. It's beer that does all that shit . . . Never mind. 'Qui non intelligit, aut taceat, aut discat' The mind is like a parachute. It only works when it is open.-FZ The industrial revolution, flipped a bitch on evolution.-NOFX |
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