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Author Topic:   Humour VI
fearandloathing
Member (Idle past 4144 days)
Posts: 990
From: Burlington, NC, USA
Joined: 02-24-2011


(5)
Message 226 of 553 (620491)
06-17-2011 10:12 AM


Muslim jokes
Mohammed heard one of his wives was leaving him, so he rushed home where he found her on the carpet in front of the tent with her belongings; he sat beside her and said, I heard you were planning to leave me?
She replied, Yes, I heard your other wives saying you were a pedophile!
Mohammed thinks for a minute or so and then responds, that's a mighty big word for a 6 year old."
-----
A Pakistani comes to America and begins working for the ACLU but is unfamiliar with American advances in toiletry. On his first day on the job he comes back from the men's room saying he can't find any hole in the ground. His boss explains how American plumbing works and sends the Pakistani back.
A few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard from the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream shakes the office walls. His boss runs into the bathroom to investigate why he's screaming.
The Pakistani replies, "I am just sitting here on the toilet like you instructed to do and every time I am making to flush, something comes up and squeezes dearly on my poor testicles."
His boss looks at what he's sitting on and says, "You idiot. You're sitting on the mop bucket!"
Q. What do you say to a Muslim with his arm all the way up a camel's rump?
A. "Having car trouble?"
Q: How do you get a Muslim woman pregnant?
A: Dress her up as a goat.
Q. What do Muslim men do during foreplay?
A. Tickle the goat under the chin.
Edited by fearandloathing, : No reason given.
Edited by Adminnemooseus, : Shortened long line of "-", which was causing page width problems.

"I hate to advocate the use of drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson
Ad astra per aspera
Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione.

fearandloathing
Member (Idle past 4144 days)
Posts: 990
From: Burlington, NC, USA
Joined: 02-24-2011


Message 227 of 553 (620503)
06-17-2011 11:00 AM


???
To whoever rated my Muslim jokes a 1, well?? If I offended you just say so.

"I hate to advocate the use of drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson
Ad astra per aspera
Nihil curo de ista tua stulta superstitione.

Itinerant Lurker
Member (Idle past 2655 days)
Posts: 67
Joined: 12-12-2008


Message 228 of 553 (620556)
06-17-2011 4:04 PM



Itinerant Lurker
Member (Idle past 2655 days)
Posts: 67
Joined: 12-12-2008


Message 229 of 553 (620558)
06-17-2011 4:11 PM


Rasta Teacher

Replies to this message:
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Minnemooseus
Member
Posts: 3941
From: Duluth, Minnesota, U.S. (West end of Lake Superior)
Joined: 11-11-2001
Member Rating: 10.0


Message 230 of 553 (620799)
06-21-2011 12:36 AM


Coyote: Ignobel prize for message and subtitle
Posting this because of the the "is it or is it not relevant?" subtitle.
Author: Coyote
Forum: Coffee House
Thread: Fox news = False news
Run on subtitle: Re: Coyote apparently a pseudo brain dead conservative
Message #: 144
His message, in its entirity:
Or maybe not.
But if you want to start comparing Fox to the lame stream media let me know.
We can start with Walter Crankcase and Dan Blather.
I'd much prefer to keep this site restricted to evolution vs. creation, but you libs just can't seem to do that, can you?
Moose
-----
All snivel, no substance.
If you don't like the above, quite violating forum rule 4:
quote:
4 - Points should be supported with evidence and/or reasoned argumentation. Address rebuttals through the introduction of additional evidence or by enlarging upon the argument. Do not repeat previous points without further elaboration. Avoid bare assertions.
Or bow out of the topic and shut-up.
ABE - Or you can try reporting this message to Report Discussion Problems Here 3.0
Adminnemooseus
Edited by Minnemooseus, : Wrong little word in the first sentence ("is" -> "or"). Add "Report" stuff.

Professor, geology, Whatsamatta U
Evolution - Changes in the environment, caused by the interactions of the components of the environment.
"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer." - Bruce Graham
"The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness." - John Kenneth Galbraith
"Yesterday on Fox News, commentator Glenn Beck said that he believes President Obama is a racist. To be fair, every time you watch Glenn Beck, it does get a little easier to hate white people." - Conan O'Brien
"I know a little about a lot of things, and a lot about a few things, but I'm highly ignorant about everything." - Moose

Replies to this message:
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AZPaul3
Member
Posts: 8513
From: Phoenix
Joined: 11-06-2006
Member Rating: 5.3


(1)
Message 231 of 553 (620803)
06-21-2011 4:24 AM
Reply to: Message 230 by Minnemooseus
06-21-2011 12:36 AM


Humor?
Oh. Excuse me. I thought I was in the Humor thread.
I guess I've wandered into the Let's Trash Somebody Inappropriately in an Inappropriate Thread thread.
I'll keep looking. If I find the Humor thread I'll come back and let y'all know where it's been hiding.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 230 by Minnemooseus, posted 06-21-2011 12:36 AM Minnemooseus has seen this message but not replied

Omnivorous
Member
Posts: 3978
From: Adirondackia
Joined: 07-21-2005
Member Rating: 7.3


Message 232 of 553 (620960)
06-21-2011 9:07 PM
Reply to: Message 229 by Itinerant Lurker
06-17-2011 4:11 PM


Basta Lurker
Why is this supposed to be funny?


Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?
-Shakespeare
Real things always push back.
-William James

This message is a reply to:
 Message 229 by Itinerant Lurker, posted 06-17-2011 4:11 PM Itinerant Lurker has not replied

Replies to this message:
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Omnivorous
Member
Posts: 3978
From: Adirondackia
Joined: 07-21-2005
Member Rating: 7.3


Message 233 of 553 (620961)
06-21-2011 9:15 PM


Hey arach!
Hey arach! I hope you've enjoyed your attempts at discussion!


Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?
-Shakespeare
Real things always push back.
-William James

New Cat's Eye
Inactive Member


Message 234 of 553 (621002)
06-22-2011 10:26 AM
Reply to: Message 232 by Omnivorous
06-21-2011 9:07 PM


Re: Basta Lurker
Why is this supposed to be funny?
You haven't seen these memes?
quote:
Successful Black Man is an image macro series featuring a black man dressed in business attire and a witty one-liner satirizing the stereotype of young African American males as street hustlers or gangsters who only care about cars, moneys and hos. The humor is mostly derived from the intentional line break in mid-sentence, with the top line impersonating a black male stereotype (EX: I Got the Best Hos’) and the bottom line suddenly falling flat in character (EX: Out in My Tool Shed).sauce
To balance any prejudice...
Later, Success! Nun was spawned:

This message is a reply to:
 Message 232 by Omnivorous, posted 06-21-2011 9:07 PM Omnivorous has not replied

Shtop
Junior Member (Idle past 2325 days)
Posts: 30
Joined: 07-19-2007


Message 235 of 553 (621065)
06-23-2011 8:48 AM


Fox news = False news

Dogmafood
Member (Idle past 348 days)
Posts: 1815
From: Ontario Canada
Joined: 08-04-2010


(3)
Message 236 of 553 (621075)
06-23-2011 11:04 AM


It's Not Funny
A Jehovah’s Witness goes to heaven but instead of the pearly gates, there’s a fork in the road, and a sign pointing down each path. One sign says ‘Believers in Predestination’ and the other says ‘Believers in Free Will’. The guy’s always believed in predestination, so he goes down that road, and eventually he comes to a huge wall and a big door with the word ‘PREDESTINATION’ written over the top. He knocks, and an angel opens the door and says, ‘What brings you to my door, mortal?’ And the guy says, ‘Well, there were these two signs, and I chose the one that said predestination.’ The angel says, ‘You chose it? You can’t come in here, Bub,’ and slams the door. The guy’s heartbroken. Finally he trudges back to the crossroads and goes down the other road. Eventually he comes to another giant wall and a door that says ‘FREE WILL.’ He knocks and another angel opens the door and says, ‘Why did you come this way, mortal?’ And the guy says, ‘I had no choice!’
ang k ti khon ngn hng online | ngan ha casino c bit l trong khu vc Chu th

Replies to this message:
 Message 237 by AZPaul3, posted 06-23-2011 11:55 PM Dogmafood has replied

AZPaul3
Member
Posts: 8513
From: Phoenix
Joined: 11-06-2006
Member Rating: 5.3


Message 237 of 553 (621132)
06-23-2011 11:55 PM
Reply to: Message 236 by Dogmafood
06-23-2011 11:04 AM


Yeah It Is!
Just to let everyone know, I've found the Humor thread.
Actually, Dogmafood found it somewhere.
Don't know where it was hiding, but it's back.
Thanks, Dog!
Edited by AZPaul3, : title

This message is a reply to:
 Message 236 by Dogmafood, posted 06-23-2011 11:04 AM Dogmafood has replied

Replies to this message:
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Dogmafood
Member (Idle past 348 days)
Posts: 1815
From: Ontario Canada
Joined: 08-04-2010


Message 238 of 553 (621133)
06-24-2011 12:32 AM
Reply to: Message 237 by AZPaul3
06-23-2011 11:55 PM


Re: Yeah It Is!
Hey, my pleasure but you know...it was bound to happen.

This message is a reply to:
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Percy
Member
Posts: 22391
From: New Hampshire
Joined: 12-23-2000
Member Rating: 5.2


Message 239 of 553 (621726)
06-28-2011 1:05 PM


Evolution Rap
Baba Brinkman onstage:
--Percy

DBlevins
Member (Idle past 3775 days)
Posts: 652
From: Puyallup, WA.
Joined: 02-04-2003


Message 240 of 553 (621761)
06-28-2011 7:40 PM


Karinna the Romanian Athiest. Enjoy her rational perspective and humor.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QrpT5X8yiG8&NR=1
(No idea right now how to frame it on this post so will have to settle for just linking it)
Edited by DBlevins, : No reason given.
Edited by AdminAsgara, : No reason given.
Edited by AdminAsgara, : Attempted to fix embed code - not working for me either ... Asgara

Replies to this message:
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