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Author | Topic: Humour VII | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
bluegenes Member (Idle past 2506 days) Posts: 3119 From: U.K. Joined: |
Dr Adequate writes: How To Tell If A Woman Is Really A Christian Wow. What ignorance to go to all those lengths. Everyone knows that all you need to do is throw her in a pond with a big rock tied to her feet. If she floats, she's a witch or an atheist, and if she drowns, she's a good Christian. All over in about 8 minutes, bar the funeral. Someone should tell him.
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Dr Adequate Member (Idle past 313 days) Posts: 16113 Joined:
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onifre Member (Idle past 2980 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined:
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MIke the Wiz:
quote: - Oni
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rueh Member (Idle past 3690 days) Posts: 382 From: universal city tx Joined:
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The coach had put together the perfect team for the Detroit Lions. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan .. In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.
KABOOM! He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY! Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE! "I've got to get this guy!" coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!" So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Lions go on to win the Super Bowl. The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother. "Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!" "I don't want to talk to you," the old woman says. "You are not my son!" "I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans." "No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Detroit !" 'Qui non intelligit, aut taceat, aut discat' The mind is like a parachute. It only works when it is open.-FZ The industrial revolution, flipped a bitch on evolution.-NOFX It takes all kinds to make a mess- Benjamin Hoff |
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bluegenes Member (Idle past 2506 days) Posts: 3119 From: U.K. Joined:
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frako Member (Idle past 334 days) Posts: 2932 From: slovenija Joined: |
Unbapthism atheists should start practising that if these nuts keep calling atheism a religion. Christianity, One woman's lie about an affair that got seriously out of hand |
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Dr Adequate Member (Idle past 313 days) Posts: 16113 Joined: |
People mistaking the Onion for news is not really funny any more.
Except when they're congressmen.
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frako Member (Idle past 334 days) Posts: 2932 From: slovenija Joined: |
"Have you properly Christianized them?" "Yes m'lud." "Then why is no one coming to church?" "Because we properly Christianized them." TomFynn pred 1 mesec 136
Top rated comment loled when i saw it. love QI because i like trivia. Edited by frako, : No reason given.Christianity, One woman's lie about an affair that got seriously out of hand |
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hooah212002 Member (Idle past 830 days) Posts: 3193 Joined: |
"There is no refutation of Darwinian evolution in existence. If a refutation ever were to come about, it would come from a scientist, and not an idiot." -Dawkins |
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Asgara Member (Idle past 2331 days) Posts: 1783 From: Wisconsin, USA Joined:
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frako Member (Idle past 334 days) Posts: 2932 From: slovenija Joined:
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roflChristianity, One woman's lie about an affair that got seriously out of hand |
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frako Member (Idle past 334 days) Posts: 2932 From: slovenija Joined: |
hehe so trueChristianity, One woman's lie about an affair that got seriously out of hand |
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3991 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 6.9
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That voice...
I watched golf on the tube once. Took years to recover. Now I am narcoleptic again, maybe forever."If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."
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Phat Member Posts: 18348 From: Denver,Colorado USA Joined: Member Rating: 1.0 |
Bishop Eddie Long annointed with torah scroll:
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subbie Member (Idle past 1283 days) Posts: 3509 Joined:
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Priceless!
Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions. -- Thomas Jefferson We see monsters where science shows us windmills. -- Phat It has always struck me as odd that fundies devote so much time and effort into trying to find a naturalistic explanation for their mythical flood, while looking for magical explanations for things that actually happened. -- Dr. Adequate ...creationists have a great way to detect fraud and it doesn't take 8 or 40 years or even a scientific degree to spot the fraud--'if it disagrees with the bible then it is wrong'.... -- archaeologist |
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