Dating services and foreign women

Hopefully it's a penis!!! Why don't you stop wasting your time on the internet, work out, make some friends, learn to dance, learn some jokes, get a life, hit a few bars, build some social skills, and maybe then a human girl will give you some attention. For fuck sake, it's not hard to do. Why would you waste your time giving a shit whether some spambot is real or not?I can't believe others here are encouraging it. Smile once in a while in the direction of a female, offer to buy a REAL girl a drink, tell her some jokes, talk about some books and movies, and next thing you know you'll be knuckles deep in it.- Oni

A voice of reason.Also, maybe read this: 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better PersonThere may be some relevant parts in there. For example:

I've had enormous success using the internet for dating. Not all of us are extroverts, after all. I don't like hanging out in bars; why would I want a woman who does?The internet isn't just for social rejects who can't get a date, you know. It's also for people who like to have a filter for certain traits before even meeting to increase the chances of compatibility.

I've never used it myself. But friends who have used OKCupid and things like that have mainly used it for one night stands. It's an easy way to hook up for meaningless sex, and I guess cheaper than a hooker in some cases.I don't know any who have built a lasting relationship from it. Mostly because, if I were to guess, they lack actual social skills and a personality once they become themselves and let down the fake person they pretended to be on the internet. Just a general point of reference. Switch bar to library, or bookstore, or coffe shop, or park, or gym, or a wine class at a community college, etc. The point was to get out there and build those skills with real live people.- Oni

Every relationship I've had for more than the past decade has started online. Not one has been a one-night stand. One of them lasted over five years.Online dating is not at all different from the traditional kind. It just lets you expose yourself and be exposed to more people. Yes, that means there are more crazies and more competition, but the distribution is the same, you're just using a larger pool. And the ability to filter results by location, age, and interest helps the process move along quite well.I'm not lacking in personality, and neither have any of the women I've dated from dating sites been without personality or social skills. Neither have they been sex-starved desperate sluts, any more than I'm a man-whore.The stigma placed on online dating is undeserved.My current relationship began with an online dating site, and my girlfriend is absolutely not a source of "meaningless sex," and neither is she simply "cheaper than a hooker." In fact, I find those characterizations of the women found on online dating sites to be extremely offensive.

Let's be clear on what we're talking about. Online "dating" doesn't exist - you meet up go on a date. You're just setting it up online. Ok, that's not bad. You still have to function within the normal social settings of a date.I can see in today's busy culture, the need to make all the initial setting up of a date online. You can also narrow down the field a bit, if that's what you like to do. But foreveryoung is talking about some other shit in other countries that isn't dating at all. You took her on a normal date the first time though, right? It didn't go from the internet to moving in. Interestingly enough, I was talking about mostly female comics who troll for men and use the sites for casual sex. Seems like it's the men who are the hookers for my female friends. - Oni

The first one was the reason I moved to California...from North Carolina. For a year we had 3000 miles between us, and the only "dates" we had were phone conversations until I flew out to meet her in person.Long-distance relationships can work too, you know. It's just more difficult and takes extra commitment. Okay, that's pretty funny.And admittedly, some dating sites make "hookups" extremely easy, and some even cater specifically to that. My only issue is when that subset of online dating is used to generalize all of online dating. Most of it is a lot more like regular dating than people seem to think.

Long distance relationship is a far cry from foreveryoung setting up a profile on some foreign site trolling for who knows what. Well, then, it's just regular dating. Like I said, the initial set up is online but everything after that is normal shit. That's what I'm trying to say to foreveryoung. Just do normal shit. But he's wasting time trying to figure out who is or isn't a spambot - when he should just get out there and hangout where females are at.- OniEdited by onifre, : No reason given.

Maybe????In my opinion, this is one of the most important pieces of advice I have ever read. Should be required to graduate HS.Just wish It had happened almost 40 years ago, instead of having to learn it the hard way.Not only Cracked.com #1 for the year, I say best ever.

I watched one of those "how to get a girlfriend" type shows - the kind that takes someone who can't get a date and educates them on what they are doing wrong.
The single thing that had the biggest effect was getting the guy to sit at a table outside a cafe and telling him to smile gently at passing women - and if they hold eye contact to say "Hello".
That was all: just smile and maybe say "Hello".It made an astonishing difference.Edited by Panda, : No reason given.

......And I might add, try not to be a schumck like the guy in Rox's Cracked article. No one likes a schumck.It is a given that if one has nothing to bring to the table, you just might not get many invites. Simple as ABC, ( always be closing)

It's just a very effective way to put someone at ease. I use that on stage, when I first go on a simple smile, some eye contact with people in the front row, and a "hello, how are you guys doing" makes the audience warm up to you quickly.I've watched comics crash and burn by simply not doing that very first thing.- Oni

This is about the most unexpected topic I've seen up until now.. And I have pretty much nothing to add. Just be very careful FY. The internet is full of facades, especially when going to oblivous lures as foreign woman.Besides... Keep in mind that, even if you manage hook up with a attractive foreign girl, she might love your money/country more then you as a person.Cracked article seems to be right message for you. Although I admit I'm distressed by it(20 year old insecure young adult hello), even though I already realized it's message on my own before in a more gentle wording. It's just the general tone of it that ticks me off, although I know Cracked well enough to know every article on it is written like it.

The foriegn women thing is probably a big problem waiting to happen. You don't need more problems unless you feel you have a shortage of problems and need to make more.What I want you to do is go to a mall and start introducing yourself and shaking hands with everyone there. I want you to do this until NOTHING about it bothers you or makes you feel unconfortable in any way.You are probably never going to see these people again so it doesn't matter. Meet everyone including attractive women, ask no one out you are just introducing yourself to people. If someone asks what you are doing tell them meeting new people makes you feel self conscious and a little unconfortable so you decided to come to the mall and meet people until it doesn't bother you. (when I did this a long time ago, only one person asked me, and his comment after I told him was, "That's a fantastic idea").Now you can do this at bars, parties, school events, meetings where ever attractive women get together. First all the introductions without regard to gender or attractiveness, then after you can try "Can I buy you a drink?, "Would you like to dance?" etc. with the girls you find attractive. BTW if an attractive girl says no, since you know every person in the bar, tell her "If you see someone you'd like to meet, I'd be happy to introduce you." Lad, this is called building karma and it will come around.If you are still afraid of attractive girls (evidenced by total no's), you are unconfortable, that makes them unconfortable so they say no. Go out and target attractive girls, introduce yourself, and say "I'm going to ask a question, please say no. Would you like to go on a date? After the no say thanks. If asked explain you are apprehensive about asking a very pretty girl you kind of know out, so wanted to practice and you were the most attractive girl/women around. If a group of girls, ask each and tell them all they are attractive. Building karma.This should help you out. Get started right now!Happy New Year.Edited by petrophysics1, : No reason given.

Just a thought but is the desire to be right overshadowing your desire to get on with people?If there is any thing I've learnt from my past relationships and my clinical experience is that going out of one's way to be acknowledged as 'right' pisses people off, no end.If you are more interested in being right, getting things right, being seen as right and perhaps most importantly making sure other people know that you are right and they are wrong, that's going to push people away.Just my two penneth worth (as a psychotherapist).All the best.Edited by Larni, : No reason given.