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Author | Topic: Humour VII | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Omnivorous Member Posts: 3992 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 7.5 |
Percy writes: I don't think I've heard the song you're referring to. Are you sure it's by them? Wouldn't mind a link to it. Yeah, I'm sure--but I doubt we'll find a link to a recording. I heard it in concert in nineteen-sixty-ohmigodthatlongago, and it wasn't the sort of thing that made it onto vinyl in those days Too bad it wasn't a decade later; we'd have bootleg tapes. But I'll look. I'll even blow the dust off my crates of vinyl, just in case. One of my faves is The John Birch Society:
quote: Edited by Omnivorous, : No reason given."If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3992 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 7.5 |
bluegenes writes: Ah! I thought you wanted to rein the whole thing in. Why close the barn door now? Besides, you'd just think I was a nag."If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3992 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 7.5 |
Dogmafood writes: It has to better than the Lipizzan assholes that they put in the hot dogs. NPR aired a report on accusations that pork sphincters were being resold as fried calamari. I never before appreciated my seafood allergies."If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."
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Dogmafood Member (Idle past 379 days) Posts: 1815 From: Ontario Canada Joined:
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3992 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 7.5
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As many expatriates have discovered, a popular sport in Asia involves pressing the Western guest to try an exotic traditional dish, usually something in which modern locals have zero interest.
But ah!, the pleasure of watching a foreign devil trying to maintain savor faire while chewing something unidentifiable (because it's been buried for ages); or gnawing the bones of some poor creature one would rather play with than eat, after it has baked for days in the curious, communal, crock-pot type ovens in which tender becomes dissolute... Of course, in most East Asian cultures, a flat "No" is exceedingly rude, so more elegant avoidance strategies are required. Let me pause here a moment to assure you that I went gustatorily native in Asia, buying snacks from street vendors, for example, favoring noodle shops that had me cheek to jowl with laborers and street girls, and avoiding the expensive Western-import specialty food shops. I even came to enjoy the open air markets where the sights and stenches leave most Westerners gagging and gulping. But I grew tired of being toyed with, so, finally, at a kisaeng dinner thrown in my honor by one of the Hyundai brothers in Seoul, after I got up and sang "Take a Walk on the Wild Side" to the accompaniment of a three-piece band, I listened with growing horror as a shining-eyed, demented vice president in charge of consternating Westerners described the violence planned for my palate. "I am honored beyond my worth," I replied (it sounds more earnest in Korean), "but I must beg your forgiveness. I cannot eat this wonderful creation of your ancestors because it is against my religion." "I'm a Rotarian." Worked like a charm, and the demands of courtesy were met. Only the rabid VP looked at all suspicious. We apologized to each other profusely for five minutes, and then I sang "Suzanne". I used it from Jakarta to Shanghai, fantasizing about serving the lot of them prion-rich squirrel brains lightly sauteed in authentic Appalachian squalor."If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."
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Dr Adequate Member (Idle past 314 days) Posts: 16113 Joined: |
Is that actually true?
Se non vero, ben trovato.
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xongsmith Member Posts: 2587 From: massachusetts US Joined: Member Rating: 7.0 |
Dr. A asks:
Is that actually true? Indeed, it really doesn't matter......- xongsmith, 5.7d
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xongsmith Member Posts: 2587 From: massachusetts US Joined: Member Rating: 7.0 |
Omnivorous kindles my old brain with:
One of my faves is The John Birch Society...... I still go with Dylan's Talkin' John Birch Society Blues:
Talkin' John Birch Paranoid Blues [Outtake] / Bob Dylan (Bob Dylan) Copyright 1970 Special Rider Music Also known as: "Talking John Birch" (as first published in Broadside #1, February 1962), "Talkin' John Birch Society Blues" (as on some very early copies of "The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan"), "Talkin' John Birch Blues" (as introduced 26 October 1963), "Talking John Birch Paranoid Blues". CDROM attribution: Copyright 1970, 1973 Special Rider Music Source: "Freewheelin' Bob Dylan" outtake. The real John Birch was a headstrong army Captain killed on a Chinese hillside in 1945. George Lincoln Rockwell was the leader of the American Nazi party. Well, I was feelin' lowdown and blue,I didn't know what in the world I wus gonna do, Them Communists they were comin' around, They wus in the air, They were all over the ground. They wouldn't gimme no peace... Well I run down most hurriedlyAnd joined the John Birch Society, I got me a secret membership card And started walkin' off down the road. Oh boy, I'm a real John Bircher now! Look out you Commies! Well, we all agree with Hitlers' views,Although he killed six million Jews. It don't matter too much if he was a Fascist, At least you can't say he was a Communist! That's to say like if you got a cold take a shot of malaria. Well, I wus lookin' everywhere for them Reds.I got up in the mornin' I looked under my bed, Looked in the stove, behind the door, Looked in the glove compartment of my car. Couldn't find 'em... Well, I looked underneath everything, behind the chairLookin' for them reds everywhere. I even looked up my chimney hole, I even looked down deep inside my toilet bowl. They got away... Well, I wus home alone I started to sweat,I figured they wus inside my T.V. set. Peeked behind the picture frame, Got a shock from my feet right up to my brain. Them Reds caused it! I know they did...them hard-core ones. Well, I quit my job so I could work all alone,Then I changed my name to Sherlock Holmes. Followed some clues from my detective bag I discovered they wus red stripes on the American flag! Ol' Betty Ross... I investigated all the books in the library,Ninety percent of those gotta be thrown away. I investigated all the people that I knowed, Ninety-eight percent of them've gotta go. The other two percent are fellow Birchers...just like me. Now Eisenhower, he's a Russian spy,Roosevelt, Lincoln and that Jefferson guy. To my knowledge there's just one man That's really a true American: George Lincoln Rockwell. I know for a fact he hates Commies cus he picketed the movie Exodus. Well, I fin'ly started thinkin' straightWhen I run outa things to investigate. Couldn't imagine anything else, So now you'll find me at home investigatin' myself! Hope I don't find out nothin'...good God! Talkin' John Birch Paranoid Blues [The Bootleg Series]/ Bob Dylan (Bob Dylan) Copyright 1970 Special Rider Music Also known as: "Talking John Birch" (as first published in Broadside #1, February 1962), "Talkin' John Birch Society Blues" (as on some very early copies of "The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan"), "Talkin' John Birch Blues" (as introduced 26 October 1963), "Talking John Birch Paranoid Blues". CDROM attribution: Copyright 1970, 1973 Special Rider Music Source: 26 October 1963, Carnegie Hall, New York City, New York Released on "The Bootleg Series, Volumes 1-3 [Rare And Unreleased]", 26 March 1991 The real John Birch was a headstrong army Captain killed on a Chinese hillside in 1945. George Lincoln Rockwell was the leader of the American Nazi party. Dylan: "This is called Talkin' John Birch Blues". And there ain't nothin'wrong with this song." Well, I was feelin' sad and kind of blue,I didn't know what I wus a-gonna do. The Communists wus a-comin' around, They wus in the air, They wus on the ground. They wus all over ... So I run down most hurriedlyAnd joined the John Birch Society. Got me a secret membership card And went back home to the yard Started lookin' on the side-walk Under the hedges ... Well, I got up in the mornin' 'n' looked under my bed,I wus lookin' every place for them gol-darned Reds. Looked behind the sink and under the floor Looked in the glove compartment of my car. Couldn't find any ... Looked behind the clothes, behind the chairLookin' for them Reds everywhere, Looked up my chimney hole, Even deep down inside my toilet bowl. They got away ... I heard some footsteps by the front porch doorSo I grabbed my shot gun from the floor Snuck around the house with a huff and a hiss Sayin' "Hands up, you Communist!" It was the mailman. He punched me out ... Well, I wus sittin' home alone an' I started to sweat,I figured they wus in my TV set. I peeked behind the picture frame, Got a shock from my feet, that hit my brain. Them Reds did it! ... Hootenanny television! Well, I quit my job so I could work alone,Got a magnifying glass like Sherlock Holmes. Followed some clues from my detective bag I discovered red stripes on the American Flag! Betsy Ross ... Now, Eisenhower he's a Russian spy,Lincoln and Jefferson and that Roosevelt guy. To my knowledge there's just one man That's really an' truly an American: that's George Lincoln Rockwell. I know for a fact he hates Commies cus he picketed the movie Exodus. Well, I fin'ly started thinkin' straightWhen I run outa things to investigate. I couldn't imagine nothin' else, So now I'm home investigatin' myself! Hope I don't find out too much ... good God! Talkin' John Birch Paranoid Blues [Lyrics 1962-1985]/ Bob Dylan (Bob Dylan) Copyright 1970 Special Rider Music Also known as: "Talking John Birch" (as first published in Broadside #1, February 1962), "Talkin' John Birch Society Blues" (as on some very early copies of "The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan"), "Talkin' John Birch Blues" (as introduced 26 October 1963), "Talking John Birch Paranoid Blues". CDROM attribution: Copyright 1970, 1973 Special Rider Music Source: "Lyrics 1962-1985"; "Highway 61 Interactive" CDROM, 1995 (contains two minor word differences as compared to "Lyrics.."). The real John Birch was a headstrong army Captain killed on a Chinese hillside in 1945. George Lincoln Rockwell was the leader of the American Nazi party. Well, I was feelin' sad and feelin' blue,I didn't know what in the world I wus gonna do, Them Communists they wus comin' around, They wus in the air, They wus on the ground. They wouldn't gimme no peace... So I run down most hurriedlyAnd joined up with the John Birch Society, I got me a secret membership card And started off a-walkin' down the road. Yee-hoo, I'm a real John Bircher now! Look out you Commies! Now we all agree with Hitlers' views,Although he killed six million Jews. It don't matter too much that he was a Fascist, At least you can't say he was a Communist! That's to say like if you got a cold you take a shot of malaria. Well, I wus lookin' everywhere for them gol-darned Reds.I got up in the mornin' 'n' looked under my bed, Looked in the sink, behind the door, Looked in the glove compartment of my car. Couldn't find 'em... I wus lookin' high an' low for them Reds everywhere,I wus lookin' in the sink an' underneath the chair. I looked way up my chimney hole, I even looked deep down inside my toilet bowl. They got away... Well, I wus sittin' home alone an' started to sweat,Figured they wus in my T.V. set. Peeked behind the picture frame, Got a shock from my feet, hittin' right up in the brain. Them Reds caused it! I know they did...them hard-core ones. Well, I quit my job so I could work alone,Then I changed my name to Sherlock Holmes. Followed some clues from my detective bag And discovered they wus red stripes on the American flag! That ol' Betty Ross... Well, I investigated all the books in the library,Ninety percent of 'em gotta be burned away. I investigated all the people that I knowed, Ninety-eight percent of them gotta go. The other two percent are fellow Birchers...just like me. Now Eisenhower, he's a Russian spy,Lincoln, Jefferson and that Roosevelt guy. To my knowledge there's just one man That's really a true American: George Lincoln Rockwell. I know for a fact he hates Commies cus he picketed the movie Exodus. Well, I fin'ly started thinkin' straightWhen I run outa things to investigate. Couldn't imagine doin' anything else, So now I'm sittin' home investigatin' myself! Hope I don't find out anything...hmm, great God! - xongsmith, 5.7d
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Dr Adequate Member (Idle past 314 days) Posts: 16113 Joined: |
Indeed, it really doesn't matter...... No, it really does. If i want to re-tell it, is it a good joke or is it something that actually happened to someone I know?
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3992 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 7.5
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Dr A writes: Is that actually true? Yes. NB: And I must say I did a bang-up job on "Suzanne". All business travelers to Asia should be forewarned that they will sooner or later be asked to sing for their supper. Learn a handful of songs you can essentially talk your way through--Yesterday, Suzanne, Take a Walk on the Wild Side--and you'll be better prepared than any travel guide could make you. Edited by Omnivorous, : No reason given."If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3992 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 7.5
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Dr A writes: xongsmith writes:
No, it really does. If i want to re-tell it, is it a good joke or is it something that actually happened to someone I know? Indeed, it really doesn't matter...... I appreciate xongsmith's defense of story for its own sake, but I agree: it really does matter, and it really is true."If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."
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Percy Member Posts: 22505 From: New Hampshire Joined: Member Rating: 5.4 |
Omnivorous writes: All business travelers to Asia should be forewarned that they will sooner or later be asked to sing for their supper. Given what I assume would be the singing voice of the average business traveler, they must have a remarkable tolerance for pain. I wonder how far into American Pie I'd get before they stopped me, which given their style of manners I assume would be truly remarkable! --Percy
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Dogmafood Member (Idle past 379 days) Posts: 1815 From: Ontario Canada Joined: |
"I'm a Rotarian." Pretty smooth.
Let me pause here a moment to assure you that I went gustatorily native in Asia Yeah I don't know that I could ever willingly bring myself to eat a chicken's foot or a pig's brain. I suppose that it is all just protein but still. Did you ever try the dog?
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3992 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 7.5 |
Percy writes: Given what I assume would be the singing voice of the average business traveler, they must have a remarkable tolerance for pain. I wonder how far into American Pie I'd get before they stopped me, which given their style of manners I assume would be truly remarkable! By the time the singing starts, all are deep in their cups--everybody sounds good. Drink enough makkoli (rice wine) or soju (rice vodka), and you'll think you sound good, too. I fondly recall rocketing through Seoul in a taxi, trying to beat the midnight curfew, the driver and I belting out Arirang, a sort of unofficial national anthem of unrequited love. In Korea specifically, and East Asia in general, everyone I met could sing quite well. They know that we are more inhibited about public performance: they will insist, implacably, that you sing, but they will also erupt into enthusiastic applause, no matter what violence you do to their ears. I love song; I love to sing. It was a revelation to me to live in a culture where any effort to sing was genuinely welcomed, instead of becoming an occasion for semi-jocular groans and complaints. I once sat all night in a moon-watching pavilion above a small lake near Pusan, sipping soju and singing American folk songs with a group of Korean college students I met on the trail. I was soju soused, for sure, but I've never felt so moved by the common humanity found in song. Interestingly, I read recently that a survey study found perfect pitch far more common in East Asia than in the West, possibly because of languages that employ pitch to shade, or even completely change, meanings. I suspect the lack of cultural barriers to the pleasures of song also plays a role. Oh! This is Humor! One of the first tests of my capacity to avoid Ugly Americanism was attendance at a professionally-produced musical revue by Korea's most popular stars, performed as a thank you to U.S. troops. I am proud to say that I sat through a long, rockin' version of "Lolling on the Liver" without a single snicker. "If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3992 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 7.5
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Dogmafood writes: Did you ever try the dog? Yeah, but I didn't know it until afterward. A formal Korean dinner might have 20-30 dishes, none of them featuring large amounts of animal protein, and all of them thoroughly spiced. It was good, but I soon learned the words that let me avoid it. Elsewhere in Asia, I may have, but I doubt it: dog is an expensive delicacy, and seldom served without fanfare. Also, the tradition of hospitality is powerful there, and Western objections to eating Fido are well known. One of my landlords in Seoul, who was a senior government bureaucrat, had a pet dog, which was unusual in the 70s. I came home one night three sheets to the wind and sat with the dog for a while, explaining to him in Korean (since he was a Korean dog ) that I wouldn't let them eat him, no matter what. My landlord listened at his window and told me later I had given him the best drinking story ever. One day the dog was missing, and I asked Mr. Lee about it: he smiled, patted his stomach, and said, "Good dog!"-- then roared with laughter at my expression. The dog was at the vet."If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."
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