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Author | Topic: Humour VII | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
ringo Member (Idle past 442 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined:
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Once upon a time, before refrigeration was common, ice used to be delivered door to door.
One day, the horse-drawn ice wagon was coming down the street and the ice man was calling out, "Ice. Ice." A lady called down from her second-floor apartment, "Send me up twenty pounds of ice." The horse stopped, unhitched himself from the wagon, went around to the back and got a twenty-pound block of ice, took it up the the second floor, got the money from the lady, came back down the stairs, gave the money to the ice man and hitched himself to the wagon again. As they continued down the street, the ice man called out, "Ice. Ice." Then a lady called down from her third-floor apartment, "Send me up thirty pounds of ice." The horse stopped, unhitched himself from the wagon, went around to the back and got a thirty-pound block of ice, took it up the the third floor, got the money from the lady, came back down the stairs, gave the money to the ice man and hitched himself to the wagon again. As they continued down the street, the ice man called out, "Ice. Ice." Then a lady called down from her fourth-floor apartment, "Send me up forty pounds of ice." The horse stopped, unhitched himself from the wagon, went around to the back and got a forty-pound block of ice, took it up the the fourth floor, got the money from the lady, came back down the stairs, gave the money to the ice man and hitched himself to the wagon again. As they continued down the street, the ice man called out, "Ice. Ice." Outside a saloon, the ice man pulled on the reins and the horse stopped and the ice man got down and went inside. A passerby happened to overhear the horse muttering to himself, "I have to pull the wagon. When somebody wants some ice, I have to unhitch myself, get the ice, take it up the stairs, get the money, bring it back down and give it to the ice man and then hitch myself up again. Now he's sitting there in that cool saloon drinking cold beer while I have to stand out here in the hot sun and wait for him." The passerby was amazed and said, "You can talk." The horse glanced sideways at him and said, "Yes, I can talk." The passerby asked, "Does your owner know you can talk?" "Of course not," the horse retorted. "If he knew I could talk, he'd make me call out, 'Ice. Ice.'"
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Dogmafood Member (Idle past 379 days) Posts: 1815 From: Ontario Canada Joined: |
If there is a God and this is a picture of the universe,
can we deduce that God must be some kind of egg laying bird?
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New Cat's Eye Inactive Member
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3992 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 7.5
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Personally, I used mute.
Pretty cool though. "If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads." |
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ringo Member (Idle past 442 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: |
A travelling salesman stopped at a farm to ask directions. "What's the quickest way back to the city?" he asked.
"I dunno," the farmer replied. '"Well, how can I get to the highway?" the salesman asked. "I dunno," the farmer replied. "Well, can you at least tell me where this road goes?" the salesman asked. "I dunno," the farmer repeated. Exasperated, the salesman muttered, "You don't know much, do you?" "Mebbe not," the farmer admitted, "but I ain't the one that's lost."
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onifre Member (Idle past 2981 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
"Mebbe not," the farmer admitted, "but I ain't the one that's lost." Maybe he is. How would he know? - Oni
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3992 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 7.5
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That reminds me of a similar city-country exchange.
The city fella concludes, "Well, you're a pretty ignorant fella. You lived here all your life?" "Not yet.""If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."
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Omnivorous Member Posts: 3992 From: Adirondackia Joined: Member Rating: 7.5
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If you're happy where you are, you aren't lost.
"If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."
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Shield Member (Idle past 2893 days) Posts: 482 Joined: |
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Dr Adequate Member (Idle past 315 days) Posts: 16113 Joined:
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Dr Adequate Member (Idle past 315 days) Posts: 16113 Joined: |
While voters overall may think Congress’ focus should be elsewhere there’s no doubt about how mad Republicans are about Benghazi. 41% say they consider this to be the biggest political scandal in American history to only 43% who disagree with that sentiment. Only 10% of Democrats and 20% of independents share that feeling. Republicans think by a 74/19 margin than Benghazi is a worse political scandal than Watergate, by a 74/12 margin that it’s worse than Teapot Dome, and by a 70/20 margin that it’s worse than Iran Contra.
One interesting thing about the voters who think Benghazi is the biggest political scandal in American history is that 39% of them don’t actually know where it is. 10% think it’s in Egypt, 9% in Iran, 6% in Cuba, 5% in Syria, 4% in Iraq, and 1% each in North Korea and Liberia with 4% not willing to venture a guess.
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Coyote Member (Idle past 2136 days) Posts: 6117 Joined: |
So which parts of the politically-inspired inaction, leading to four deaths, and the subsequent cover-up because of an impending election do you see as being acceptable? Or funny?
You may start a new thread if you like, as this topic does not fit "Humor" other than perhaps, "Laugh It Up, Fuzzball!" Edited by Coyote, : No reason given.
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Dr Adequate Member (Idle past 315 days) Posts: 16113 Joined: |
The thing I thought was funny was the thing I posted.
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Shield Member (Idle past 2893 days) Posts: 482 Joined: |
Cover-up of what, exactly?
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Dr Adequate Member (Idle past 315 days) Posts: 16113 Joined:
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Cover-up of what, exactly? He doesn't know, it's been covered up. But we know that there was a cover-up, because why else is there no evidence of malfeasance? Answer me that.
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