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Author Topic:   Humour VII
Coragyps
Member
Posts: 5388
From: Snyder, Texas, USA
Joined: 11-12-2002
Member Rating: 4.2


(1)
Message 811 of 1042 (701098)
06-11-2013 3:18 PM


Boudreaux was awakened at 2:30 AM by the telephone. Mrs. Boudreaux woke up, too. She only heard Mister's half of the conversation, to wit:

"How da hell I'm gonna know dat?? Dat dere's a hunnerd an fifty mile from here!"

And he slammed down the phone.

Mrs. asked, "Who wuz dat?"

Mr. replied, "Some dam fool wantin' to know if da coast wuz clear."

Edited by Coragyps, : No reason given.


  
Shield
Member (Idle past 1025 days)
Posts: 482
Joined: 01-29-2008


(3)
Message 812 of 1042 (701108)
06-11-2013 6:22 PM


So, in sweden, railroad company Arriva does not allow their male train employees to wear shorts, even on hot sommerdays. The rules, however, does not say anything about male staff wearing skirts. So far, 13 railroad engineers are opting for skirts, instead of warm pants:

http://politiken.dk/...er-i-nederdel-efter-forbud-mod-shorts

Arriva has no objections to this:


""Our thinking is that one should look decent and proper when representing Arriva and the present uniforms do that. If the man only wants to wear a skirt then that is OK," Arriva communications manager Tomas Hedenius told the paper.

Video here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-22828150

Edited by rbp, : Link added

Edited by rbp, : No reason given.

Edited by rbp, : No reason given.

Edited by rbp, : No reason given.


Replies to this message:
 Message 821 by RAZD, posted 06-14-2013 12:17 PM Shield has acknowledged this reply

  
onifre
Member (Idle past 1114 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 813 of 1042 (701148)
06-12-2013 9:42 AM
Reply to: Message 809 by Coragyps
06-11-2013 3:09 PM


Re: what's wrong?
Fuck that........
bacon and beer for me!

I have half a mind to go over there and slap that shit out of your hands and replace it with kale and a nutra-bullet smoothy.

But I really don't want to go to Texas.

- Oni


This message is a reply to:
 Message 809 by Coragyps, posted 06-11-2013 3:09 PM Coragyps has not yet responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 815 by rueh, posted 06-12-2013 10:46 AM onifre has responded

  
onifre
Member (Idle past 1114 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 814 of 1042 (701149)
06-12-2013 9:45 AM
Reply to: Message 810 by Panda
06-11-2013 3:10 PM


Re: what's wrong?
(fries to you).

Freedom fries to you...

I get out of breath trying to reach the keyboard.

You might just be masterbating a little too much. Try stopping that first, then we'll move on to chips.

- Oni


This message is a reply to:
 Message 810 by Panda, posted 06-11-2013 3:10 PM Panda has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 816 by Panda, posted 06-12-2013 10:50 AM onifre has responded

  
rueh
Member (Idle past 1824 days)
Posts: 382
From: universal city tx
Joined: 03-03-2008


(1)
Message 815 of 1042 (701152)
06-12-2013 10:46 AM
Reply to: Message 813 by onifre
06-12-2013 9:42 AM


Re: what's wrong?
Bringing kale across Texas state lines is a hangable offense.

'Qui non intelligit, aut taceat, aut discat'
The mind is like a parachute. It only works when it is open.-FZ
The industrial revolution, flipped a bitch on evolution.-NOFX
It takes all kinds to make a mess- Benjamin Hoff

This message is a reply to:
 Message 813 by onifre, posted 06-12-2013 9:42 AM onifre has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 824 by onifre, posted 06-14-2013 12:33 PM rueh has not yet responded

Panda
Member (Idle past 1876 days)
Posts: 2688
From: UK
Joined: 10-04-2010


Message 816 of 1042 (701154)
06-12-2013 10:50 AM
Reply to: Message 814 by onifre
06-12-2013 9:45 AM


Re: what's wrong?
onifre writes:

You might just be masterbating a little too much.


Is that even possible?!

onifre writes:

Try stopping that first, then we'll move on to chips.


Yeah - good thinking.
Masturbating and reaching towards the keyboard are arduous tasks.
Best to avoid anything that could be considered exercise and focus on the flabdom fries.
*nods*
Thanks for the helpful tips.

"There is no great invention, from fire to flying, which has not been hailed as an insult to some god." J. B. S. Haldane

This message is a reply to:
 Message 814 by onifre, posted 06-12-2013 9:45 AM onifre has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 817 by New Cat's Eye, posted 06-12-2013 11:00 AM Panda has acknowledged this reply
 Message 822 by onifre, posted 06-14-2013 12:32 PM Panda has acknowledged this reply

New Cat's Eye
Inactive Member


(2)
Message 817 of 1042 (701155)
06-12-2013 11:00 AM
Reply to: Message 816 by Panda
06-12-2013 10:50 AM



This message is a reply to:
 Message 816 by Panda, posted 06-12-2013 10:50 AM Panda has acknowledged this reply

Replies to this message:
 Message 818 by ProtoTypical, posted 06-12-2013 8:00 PM New Cat's Eye has not yet responded

ProtoTypical
Member
Posts: 1792
From: Ontario Canada
Joined: 08-04-2010
Member Rating: 6.6


Message 818 of 1042 (701187)
06-12-2013 8:00 PM
Reply to: Message 817 by New Cat's Eye
06-12-2013 11:00 AM


I have always considered my ambidexterity to be a blessing.
This message is a reply to:
 Message 817 by New Cat's Eye, posted 06-12-2013 11:00 AM New Cat's Eye has not yet responded

Replies to this message:
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Shtop
Junior Member (Idle past 489 days)
Posts: 30
Joined: 07-19-2007


(2)
Message 819 of 1042 (701196)
06-13-2013 6:45 AM
Reply to: Message 818 by ProtoTypical
06-12-2013 8:00 PM


Habla francais?
An English cat (called one-two-three) and a French cat (called un-deux-trois) have a swimming race. Which cat wins?

One-two-three cat wins, because un-deux-trois cat sank.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 818 by ProtoTypical, posted 06-12-2013 8:00 PM ProtoTypical has not yet responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 820 by 1.61803, posted 06-14-2013 9:45 AM Shtop has not yet responded

  
1.61803
Member
Posts: 2838
From: Lone Star State USA
Joined: 02-19-2004
Member Rating: 5.7


(1)
Message 820 of 1042 (701224)
06-14-2013 9:45 AM
Reply to: Message 819 by Shtop
06-13-2013 6:45 AM


Re: Habla francais?
"What do you call four Mexican gentleman in a canoe?'

Quatro cinco.


"You were not there for the beginning. You will not be there for the end. Your knowledge of what is going on can only be superficial and relative" William S. Burroughs

This message is a reply to:
 Message 819 by Shtop, posted 06-13-2013 6:45 AM Shtop has not yet responded

RAZD
Member
Posts: 19868
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004
Member Rating: 5.6


Message 821 of 1042 (701242)
06-14-2013 12:17 PM
Reply to: Message 812 by Shield
06-11-2013 6:22 PM


that's one way to skirt the issue ...


we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand
Rebel American Zen Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.


Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click)

This message is a reply to:
 Message 812 by Shield, posted 06-11-2013 6:22 PM Shield has acknowledged this reply

Replies to this message:
 Message 823 by ringo, posted 06-14-2013 12:32 PM RAZD has acknowledged this reply

onifre
Member (Idle past 1114 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 822 of 1042 (701245)
06-14-2013 12:32 PM
Reply to: Message 816 by Panda
06-12-2013 10:50 AM


Re: what's wrong?
Best to avoid anything that could be considered exercise and focus on the flabdom fries.

Make them out of sweet potato and bake them for Jebus' sake!

For every one fry you have do one sit up/push-up/burpee and it'll be fine.

- Oni

Edited by onifre, : No reason given.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 816 by Panda, posted 06-12-2013 10:50 AM Panda has acknowledged this reply

  
ringo
Member
Posts: 16621
From: frozen wasteland
Joined: 03-23-2005
Member Rating: 3.0


(1)
Message 823 of 1042 (701246)
06-14-2013 12:32 PM
Reply to: Message 821 by RAZD
06-14-2013 12:17 PM


RAZD writes:

that's one way to skirt the issue ...


Yes, they certainly kilt that rule.
This message is a reply to:
 Message 821 by RAZD, posted 06-14-2013 12:17 PM RAZD has acknowledged this reply

onifre
Member (Idle past 1114 days)
Posts: 4854
From: Dark Side of the Moon
Joined: 02-20-2008


Message 824 of 1042 (701247)
06-14-2013 12:33 PM
Reply to: Message 815 by rueh
06-12-2013 10:46 AM


Re: what's wrong?
Bringing kale across Texas state lines is a hangable offense.

Fatties!

- Oni


This message is a reply to:
 Message 815 by rueh, posted 06-12-2013 10:46 AM rueh has not yet responded

  
Dr Adequate
Member
Posts: 16095
Joined: 07-20-2006


(4)
Message 825 of 1042 (701265)
06-14-2013 4:05 PM


New Age terrorists develop homeopathic bomb.

Edited by Dr Adequate, : No reason given.


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