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Author
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Topic: Humour VII
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Dogmafood
Member Posts: 1815 From: Ontario Canada Joined: 08-04-2010
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Message 826 of 1042 (701325)
06-17-2013 7:25 AM
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If you’re doing nothing wrong, you have nothing to hide from the giant surveillance apparatus the U.S. government’s been hiding. - Stephen Colbert
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 827 by Rahvin, posted 06-17-2013 5:40 PM | | Dogmafood has seen this message but not replied |
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Rahvin
Member Posts: 4071 Joined: 07-01-2005 Member Rating: 8.9
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Message 827 of 1042 (701354)
06-17-2013 5:40 PM
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Reply to: Message 826 by Dogmafood
06-17-2013 7:25 AM
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I also enjoyed, from John Oliver standing in on the Daily Show (paraphrasing): "We're not saying you did anything illegal, Mr. President. We're just saying, it's a little weird that you didn't have to."
The human understanding when it has once adopted an opinion (either as being the received opinion or as being agreeable to itself) draws all things else to support and agree with it. - Francis Bacon "There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs." - John Rogers A world that can be explained even with bad reasons is a familiar world. But, on the other hand, in a universe suddenly divested of illusions and lights, man feels an alien, a stranger. His exile is without remedy since he is deprived of the memory of a lost home or the hope of a promised land. This divorce between man and his life, the actor and his setting, is properly the feeling of absurdity. — Albert Camus "...the pious hope that by combining numerous little turds of variously tainted data, one can obtain a valuable result; but in fact, the outcome is merely a larger than average pile of shit." - Barash, David 1995... "Many that live deserve death. And some die that deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then be not too eager to deal out death in the name of justice, fearing for your own safety. Even the wise cannot see all ends." - Gandalf, J. R. R. Tolkien: The Lord Of the Rings
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 826 by Dogmafood, posted 06-17-2013 7:25 AM | | Dogmafood has seen this message but not replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 706 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Message 828 of 1042 (701675)
06-23-2013 5:43 PM
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A travelling salesman stopped at a farm and as he was chatting with the farmer, a pig drove a tractor into the yard pulling a cultivator. As the salesman watched, the pig unhitched the cultivator and drove the tractor into the shed, then came out and went into the house. "That's quite a pig," the salesman commented. "Yep," the farmer agreed, "He does most of the field work, he repairs all of the equipment and he does the books too." "Amazing." The salesman shook his head. "I couldn't help but notice that he has a wooden leg." "Yep," the farmer nodded. "When you have a good pig like that, you don't want to eat him all at once."
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New Cat's Eye
Inactive Member
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Message 829 of 1042 (701926)
06-27-2013 5:16 PM
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Christian Universe Perspective
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 835 by Heathen, posted 07-11-2013 3:02 AM | | New Cat's Eye has replied |
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Dr Adequate
Member Posts: 16113 Joined: 07-20-2006
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Message 830 of 1042 (702063)
06-30-2013 3:34 AM
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Perissodactyl
It's an odd toad ungulate.
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1.61803
Member (Idle past 1798 days) Posts: 2928 From: Lone Star State USA Joined: 02-19-2004
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Message 831 of 1042 (702286)
07-03-2013 5:56 PM
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"You were not there for the beginning. You will not be there for the end. Your knowledge of what is going on can only be superficial and relative" William S. Burroughs
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Shield
Member (Idle past 3156 days) Posts: 482 Joined: 01-29-2008
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Message 832 of 1042 (702510)
07-08-2013 12:57 PM
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This is my Jam
Edited by rbp, : No reason given.
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ringo
Member (Idle past 706 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Message 833 of 1042 (702647)
07-10-2013 1:34 PM
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Carpooling
A group of [insert ethnic stereotype here] decided to spend the evening celebrating, so they piled into the car and headed for town. As they approached civilization, they noticed a sign that said, "Maximum 30," so they pulled over and ten of them got out.
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 834 by jar, posted 07-10-2013 1:54 PM | | ringo has seen this message but not replied |
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jar
Member (Idle past 133 days) Posts: 34140 From: Texas!! Joined: 04-20-2004
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Message 834 of 1042 (702657)
07-10-2013 1:54 PM
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Reply to: Message 833 by ringo
07-10-2013 1:34 PM
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Re: Carpooling
More like how I felt when I got a call from a rugby buddy saying he and a few friends were in town.
Anyone so limited that they can only spell a word one way is severely handicapped!
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 833 by ringo, posted 07-10-2013 1:34 PM | | ringo has seen this message but not replied |
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Heathen
Member (Idle past 1577 days) Posts: 1067 From: Brizzle Joined: 09-20-2005
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Re: Christian Universe Perspective
In the local superclusters picture, at the top left, just below the capricornus supercluster.
is that the "Cock and Balls" supercluster?
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New Cat's Eye
Inactive Member
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Message 836 of 1042 (702741)
07-11-2013 10:17 AM
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Reply to: Message 835 by Heathen
07-11-2013 3:02 AM
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Re: Christian Universe Perspective
In the local superclusters picture, at the top left, just below the capricornus supercluster.
is that the "Cock and Balls" supercluster? You were all:
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 835 by Heathen, posted 07-11-2013 3:02 AM | | Heathen has not replied |
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AZPaul3
Member Posts: 8683 From: Phoenix Joined: 11-06-2006 Member Rating: 6.0
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Message 837 of 1042 (702742)
07-11-2013 10:21 AM
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Reply to: Message 835 by Heathen
07-11-2013 3:02 AM
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Re: Christian Universe Perspective
is that the "Cock and Balls" supercluster? Yes, it is. But since it's not masturbating then it's OK.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 835 by Heathen, posted 07-11-2013 3:02 AM | | Heathen has not replied |
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hooah212002
Member (Idle past 1095 days) Posts: 3193 Joined: 08-12-2009
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Message 838 of 1042 (702804)
07-11-2013 12:32 PM
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Overheard in the clinic
So, I was donating plasma today and one of the nurses is, I believe, Indian (the kind from India, no offense). Their wireless internet was not working and one of the other nurses came over and informed her that it would be turned back on soon. Her response? "It looks like the prayers to my elephant god worked". I was baffled. I don't know much about Hinduism, but it struck me as being very much like someone saying "looks like the prayers to my bearded sky daddy worked". I thought it was funny as hell because ALL of her co-workers are caucasian. Racist? Religious intolerance? Take your pick. I'm sure on some level I am an ass for laughing or she is an ass for saying it. Either way, fuck that was funny.
"Science is interesting, and if you don't agree you can fuck off." -Dawkins
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 839 by jar, posted 07-11-2013 2:49 PM | | hooah212002 has seen this message but not replied |
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jar
Member (Idle past 133 days) Posts: 34140 From: Texas!! Joined: 04-20-2004
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Re: Overheard in the clinic
Ganesha is cool, Lord of Success.
Anyone so limited that they can only spell a word one way is severely handicapped!
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 838 by hooah212002, posted 07-11-2013 12:32 PM | | hooah212002 has seen this message but not replied |
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AZPaul3
Member Posts: 8683 From: Phoenix Joined: 11-06-2006 Member Rating: 6.0
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Message 840 of 1042 (702842)
07-11-2013 5:28 PM
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PZ gave this site a wank today.
Hard Dawn Enjoy. Edited by AZPaul3, : No reason given.
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 841 by hooah212002, posted 07-11-2013 5:39 PM | | AZPaul3 has seen this message but not replied | | | Message 842 by Percy, posted 07-12-2013 6:32 AM | | AZPaul3 has replied | | | Message 845 by CoolBeans, posted 07-22-2013 7:34 PM | | AZPaul3 has seen this message but not replied |
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