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Author
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Topic: Humour VII
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frako
Member (Idle past 326 days) Posts: 2932 From: slovenija Joined: 09-04-2010
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Message 1006 of 1042 (712180)
11-28-2013 11:15 AM
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Reply to: Message 1004 by AZPaul3
11-28-2013 6:48 AM
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Re: I have a corn on my 12"
You do know this is the "Humor" thread, right? And a so called superpower using an archaic measurement system is not the least bit funny to you.
That is just the problem. Metric is too easy. Its' all 1's and 0's in orders of magnitude all logically ordered and internally consistent. There is no intellectual challenge to it. The Imperial system lends itself to neuroplasticity, the training and strengthening of the brain. One must actually think of the relationships in order to use it correctly and since the relationships are arcane, obscure and inconsistent considerable brain power is necessary to keep it all straight. Maby if your "intellectuals" dint have to think how many barleycorns more do they have to saw off a too short plank to make it fit, They would have enough brain capacity left to realise that creationism is a non-scientific scam.
Christianity, One woman's lie about an affair that got seriously out of hand What are the Christians gonna do to me ..... Forgive me, good luck with that.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 1004 by AZPaul3, posted 11-28-2013 6:48 AM | | AZPaul3 has seen this message but not replied |
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frako
Member (Idle past 326 days) Posts: 2932 From: slovenija Joined: 09-04-2010
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Message 1007 of 1042 (712243)
11-30-2013 10:17 AM
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This is how religion sounds to me.
Christianity, One woman's lie about an affair that got seriously out of hand What are the Christians gonna do to me ..... Forgive me, good luck with that.
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frako
Member (Idle past 326 days) Posts: 2932 From: slovenija Joined: 09-04-2010
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Message 1008 of 1042 (712244)
11-30-2013 10:33 AM
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Christianity, One woman's lie about an affair that got seriously out of hand What are the Christians gonna do to me ..... Forgive me, good luck with that.
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ramoss
Member (Idle past 632 days) Posts: 3228 Joined: 08-11-2004
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Message 1009 of 1042 (712299)
12-02-2013 9:55 AM
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Tempe 12ft Chicken
Member (Idle past 355 days) Posts: 438 From: Tempe, Az. Joined: 10-25-2012
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Message 1010 of 1042 (712302)
12-02-2013 11:00 AM
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Reply to: Message 990 by ringo
11-24-2013 4:02 PM
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Heard it a different way.
I first heard this joke a different way from the book, "Dogs Don't Tell Jokes" by Louis Sachar. This was a book that I read growing up From the book:
Dogs Don't Tell Jokes, p. 198 writes: "One day a husband and wife came up to a street corner where Officer Ed was directing traffic. "Good morning, Officer Ed," said the husband. "Shut up!" said Officer Ed. "I suppose you want me to stop traffic now, just so you and your ugly wife can cross the street." "My it's a beautiful day," said the wife. "It's going to rain stupid!" said Officer Ed. "I've never met such stupid people in all my life." "But there's not a cloud in the sky," said the woman. "Read my lips, lady," said Officer Ed. "It's going to rain." Sure enough before they even made it across the street, the clouds blew in and the rain poured down. The man and the woman had to run under a doorway for cover. "My goodness," said the woman. "Officer Ed is extremely rude." "Yes dear," said her husband. "But he knows rain." Well it just so happens that the man and the woman were songwriters, and that's what gave them the idea for that famous song. Gary put his hands on his hips and looked at the audience as if surprised they didn't know the song. "Oh, com'n, you know that song!" He spoke the title very slowly. "Rude......Officer.....Ed......Knows......Rain......Dear." Gary repeated the title, this time singing it to the tune of the well-known Christmas song. "Rude Officer Ed Knows Rain, Dear." There were many groans amid the laughter." Source
The theory of evolution by cumulative natural selection is the only theory we know of that is in principle capable of explaining the existence of organized complexity. - Richard Dawkins Creationists make it sound as though a 'theory' is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night. - Issac Asimov If you removed all the arteries, veins, & capillaries from a person’s body, and tied them end-to-endthe person will die. - Neil Degrasse Tyson What would Buddha do? Nothing! What does the Buddhist terrorist do? Goes into the middle of the street, takes the gas, *pfft*, Self-Barbecue. The Christian and the Muslim on either side are yelling, "What the Fuck are you doing?" The Buddhist says, "Making you deal with your shit. - Robin Williams
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 990 by ringo, posted 11-24-2013 4:02 PM | | ringo has replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 1011 by ringo, posted 12-02-2013 11:16 AM | | Tempe 12ft Chicken has not replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 432 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Re: Heard it a different way.
Tempe 12ft Chicken writes: I first heard this joke a different way from the book, "Dogs Don't Tell Jokes" by Louis Sachar.
I only remembered the punchline and had to make up the rest. It was about a communist named Rudolph though. I often remember just the punch line or everything but the punchline. It's not hard to reverse engineer a joke from the punchline but it can be hard to fit a good punchline to an otherwise unfunny story.
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Tangle
Member Posts: 9504 From: UK Joined: 10-07-2011 Member Rating: 4.7
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Message 1012 of 1042 (713433)
12-13-2013 5:46 AM
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Edited by Tangle, : No reason given.
Life, don't talk to me about life - Marvin the Paranoid Android
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ringo
Member (Idle past 432 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Message 1013 of 1042 (713473)
12-13-2013 12:04 PM
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Reply to: Message 1012 by Tangle
12-13-2013 5:46 AM
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quote:
I decapitated the patron saint of animals. -- Dexter
Ah, the sinister Dexter.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 1012 by Tangle, posted 12-13-2013 5:46 AM | | Tangle has not replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 1014 by Jon, posted 12-13-2013 2:02 PM | | ringo has replied | | | Message 1015 by RAZD, posted 12-13-2013 2:48 PM | | ringo has seen this message but not replied |
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Jon
Inactive Member
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Message 1014 of 1042 (713480)
12-13-2013 2:02 PM
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Reply to: Message 1013 by ringo
12-13-2013 12:04 PM
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Ah, the sinister Dexter. I see what you did there 
Love your enemies!
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 1013 by ringo, posted 12-13-2013 12:04 PM | | ringo has replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 1017 by ringo, posted 12-14-2013 12:31 PM | | Jon has not replied |
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RAZD
Member (Idle past 1425 days) Posts: 20714 From: the other end of the sidewalk Joined: 03-14-2004
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Message 1015 of 1042 (713481)
12-13-2013 2:48 PM
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Reply to: Message 1013 by ringo
12-13-2013 12:04 PM
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| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 1013 by ringo, posted 12-13-2013 12:04 PM | | ringo has seen this message but not replied |
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Diomedes
Member Posts: 995 From: Central Florida, USA Joined: 09-13-2013
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Message 1016 of 1042 (713483)
12-13-2013 3:41 PM
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Reply to: Message 1012 by Tangle
12-13-2013 5:46 AM
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Let me toss in a cat one:
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 1012 by Tangle, posted 12-13-2013 5:46 AM | | Tangle has not replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 432 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Message 1017 of 1042 (713565)
12-14-2013 12:31 PM
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Reply to: Message 1014 by Jon
12-13-2013 2:02 PM
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Jon writes: I see what you did there
I'm glad Mr. Linguist got that one. On a related note: one of our major Canadian grocery retailers has a house brand called Decadent Chocolate Chip Cookies. I wonder how many people know what "decadent" means. I picture a Hallowe'en cookie in which the chocolate chips are flies.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 1014 by Jon, posted 12-13-2013 2:02 PM | | Jon has not replied |
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Theodoric
Member Posts: 9140 From: Northwest, WI, USA Joined: 08-15-2005 Member Rating: 3.3
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Message 1018 of 1042 (713569)
12-14-2013 2:00 PM
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Reply to: Message 1017 by ringo
12-14-2013 12:31 PM
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Is that a joke? You do know you are confusing it with decedent don't you? Sometimes hard to tell what the humor is.
Facts don't lie or have an agenda. Facts are just facts "God did it" is not an argument. It is an excuse for intellectual laziness.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 1017 by ringo, posted 12-14-2013 12:31 PM | | ringo has replied |
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AZPaul3
Member Posts: 8527 From: Phoenix Joined: 11-06-2006 Member Rating: 5.2
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OK, now you guys have me confused. Are these Canadian cookies sinfully delicious (in which case I want a box) or are they dead (which you can keep)? Make up your mind(s). Is it "a" or "e"?
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 1018 by Theodoric, posted 12-14-2013 2:00 PM | | Theodoric has not replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 432 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Theodoric writes: You do know you are confusing it with decedent don't you?
No, decadent. Google it. I suppose eating decadent cookies might make you a decedent.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 1018 by Theodoric, posted 12-14-2013 2:00 PM | | Theodoric has not replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 1021 by Percy, posted 12-15-2013 2:17 PM | | ringo has replied |
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