A fighter pilot was zooming through the stratossphere when he spotted a transport plane plodding along far below. He slammed on the brakes and went down to plunk along slowly beside it.
"Your job must be really boring," he said over the radio.
"No, actually it's the best job in the world", the transport pilot replied.
"Oh yeah? Watch this." The fighter pilot slammed his throttle wide open and threw his fighter into a vertical climb; then he proceeded to do a series of barrel rolls, snap rolls and loops. Finally he pulled into place beside the transport again and said, "Beat that."
"Okay." The transport flew straight and level for fifteen minutes. Then the pilot came back on the radio and said, "Beat that."
The fighter pilot was baffled. "But you didn't do anything."
"On the contrary," the transport pilot said. "I went to the bathroom; then I made a sandwich and a cup of coffee and checked my email. Beat that."
George had just started a new job at the sex shop and he was working alone for the first time while his boss was out running some errands. A young woman came in and looked around, trying not to seem too interested. Finally she asked, "How much is that big silver one?"
George said, "I'm sorry. That isn't for sale."
"Come on," she smiled. "I'll give you twenty dollars for it."
He protested, "No, really, I can't...."
Finally he gave in and sold it to her and she went away happy. A while later the boss came back and asked, "How did it go?"
Re: not so much a joke as a way to have a good time
My favourite scene from Three's Company:
The roommates can't pay their rent so the landlord, Mr. Roper, is giving them a break in exchange for them clearing out some weeds behind the building. Meanwhile, Mr. Roper invites himself to a noisy party in the building.
He answers a phone call from one of the roommates, "Hello...? Yes, this is Mr. Roper.... Oh, hi, Jack. How's it going...? Oh...? You found what...? A can of what...? A can of biss...? Oh, cannabis. Cannabis!?"
George decided he wanted to be a Mountie so he went down to the local detachment to apply.
The sergeant said, "I'm going to ask you a few questions to test your intelligence and general aptitude. First, name three fruits."
George said, "A banana and two cherries."
The sergeant hesitated and then wrote something on his pad. "I'll give you full marks for mathematcs but I can only give you partial credit for English. Let's try a follow-up question: Name three fruits that start with 'n'."
George said, "A napple, a norange and a nonion."
The sergeant hesitated again and wrote something on his pad again. "I'm afraid I can only give you partial credit again. A nonion is not a fruit."
It went on like that for a while. Eventually the sergeant said, "I have one last queston for you: Who killed Jesus Christ?"
George thought carefully, Who killed Jesus Christ? Who killed Jesus Christ?, but he couldn't come up with an answer.
Finally the sergeant said, "I'll tell you what. Why don't you go home and think about it and come back when you have an answer?"
All the way home George was thinking, Who killed Jesus Christ? Who killed Jesus Christ?
When he got home his wife asked him how it went and he said, "They asked me some really hard questions. At first I didn't think I was doing very well but they must have liked my answers because they put me on a murder case already."