So, more gay marriage. You can read the judge's decision
here.
One amusing bit:
At oral argument, the State attempted to distinguish post-menopausal women from gay men and lesbians by arguing that older women were more likely to find themselves in the position of caring for a grandchild or other relative.
You can almost imagine the scene at Homophobe HQ:
A: We need a reason to ban gay marriage.
B: Er ... we hate fags?
A: No, no, no.
B: No?
A: Well yes, of course, but we don't say that in public.
B: Ah, you mean a reason we can tell a judge.
A: Yes.
B: Silly of me, for a moment there I thought you meant the real reason.
A: No, just something to give a veneer of rationality to our pointless hatred.
B: Ooh, I know. How about only straight couples can have children?
A: Is that an important difference?
B: It's
a difference.
A: But ... wouldn't we then logically have to be against post-menopausal women being allowed to marry?
B: Since when did we give a damn about logic?
A: Er ...
B: As I recall, we burned Logic in effigy at the last company picnic.
A: Yes, yes ...
B: You said it would make a nice change from the Bill of Rights.
A: Yes, yes, but once again we have to
look logical. For the judge.
B: Well ... a post-menopausal woman can have grandchildren, right?
A: Yes ... go on.
B: And sometimes she might babysit them.
A: Yes ... ?
B: And grandchildren can be a bit of a handful, so she'd need to marry a man to help her.
A: And not a woman, because ---
B: Because anyone who's ever got pregnant is completely 100% heterosexual.
A: Ah, good.
B: Todd Aiken has some interesting data on that subject.
A: Right. Another question ...
B: What now?
A: Well, what if the post-menopausal woman doesn't have grandchildren?
B: True ... but she's
more likely to if she's not a lesbian.
A: Ah, but playing devil's advocate here, lesbians can have nephews and nieces and such, some of whom might need babysitting.
B: They're not
grandchildren. I think we have to focus on grandchildren rather than the babysitting.
A: Ok. So, where are we now, what's our argument?
B: Well. Marriage is either a sacred bond between a man and a woman ordained for the procreation of children,
or, alternatively, it's a sacred bond between a man and a woman,
but not two women, ordained for babysitting a heterosexual woman's
statistically probable grandchildren,
but not her nephews or nieces.
A: So we're going to ask the judge to uphold the ban on gay marriage because ...
B: Because the statistically probable grandchildren of heterosexual women need step-grandfathers to help with the babysitting!
A: Excellent. No judge could argue with the logic of that.
Edited by Dr Adequate, : No reason given.
™ Version 4.2
