Humour VIII

1. something which prevents motion, such as a plug for a drain, or a block of wood that prevents a door from closing;
2. a location where a train or bus lets off passengers.

1. Take another route to work that doesn't have a stop sign so that he doesn't run the risk of disobeying the Law.
2. Stop at the stop sign, say "Blessed art thou, O Lord our God, king of the universe, who hast given us thy commandment to stop," wait 3 seconds according to his watch, and then proceed.

R[abbi] Meir says:

He who does not stop shall not live long.

R. Hillel says:

Cursed is he who does not count to three before proceeding.

R. Simon ben Yudah says:

Why three? Because the Holy One, blessed be He, gave us the Law, the Prophets, and the Writings.

R. ben Isaac says:

Because of the three patriarchs.

R. Yehuda says:

Why bless the Lord at a stop sign? Because it says: "Be still, and know that I am God."

R. Hezekiel says:

When Jephthah returned from defeating the Ammonites, the Holy One, blessed be He, knew that a donkey would run out of the house and overtake his daughter; but Jephthah did not stop at the stop sign, and the donkey did not have time to come out. For this reason he saw his daughter first and lost her. Thus he was judged for his transgression at the stop sign.

R. Gamaliel says:

R. Hillel, when he was a baby, never spoke a word, though his parents tried to teach him by speaking and showing him the words on a scroll. One day his father was driving through town and did not stop at the sign. Young Hillel called out: "Stop, father!" In this way, he began reading and speaking at the same time. Thus it is written: "Out of the mouth of babes."

R. ben Jacob says:

Where did the stop sign come from? Out of the sky, for it is written: "Forever, O Lord, your word is fixed in the heavens."

R. ben Nathan says:

When were stop signs created? On the fourth day, for it is written: "let them serve as signs."

R. Yeshuah says:

... [continues for three more pages]