Humour VIII

How many Trumps does it take to screw in a light bulb?None! Donald will just tweet he screwed the bulb in while his supporters sit in the dark happy they can't see any colored people. Edited by Porosity, : No reason given.

That may be a new low in repulsive slander.

How many creationists does it take to screw in a light bulb?Goddidit!

Why do Norwegian ships have bar codes on them????So when they get to port they can Scandinavian! Ba bum ta!!!

It's the most repulsive slander in the history of the world. You're the greatest human being who ever lived for pointing it out.

Why? Cause you think Donald could actually screw in a lightbulb..All by himself?

Not only can screw a light bulb but it would be a HUGE light; it would show he can screw a light better than any President since Abraham.A least we will be able to remember the laughter after il Donald as we suffer under the slightly more competent but far more evil Fascist Pence.

Reminds me of one of the jokes in Playboy (remembered from my childhood readings in the late 1960's). A woman who had been married three times went in for a medical exam, during which the doctor was surprised to find that she was still a virgin. So she explained how it was because of each husband's occupation. I forget what it was with the first and the second was a fireman always away on duty. Her third husband was a salesman. He would describe to her at great length how great the sex was going to be, but then never get around to actually delivering on his promises.Like Trump who promises to do all kinds of incredible things that are going to be the best, but then never actually do any of them.

I heard that Trump has screwed in more light bulbs in his first 100 than any other President, BIGLY!! They are also the most AMAZING light bulbs of any administration, and more people watch Trump screw in light bulbs, both in person and on TV, than any president before him. If it weren't for the filibuster, Trump would have screwed in enough light bulbs to bring the coal industry back!! SAD!

One, but another hundred will say they can do it faster.Mooseps: How many Norwegians does it take to screw in a light bulb?Three. One to hold the bulb and 2 to turn the ladder.(Norwegians jokes are big in northern Minnesota - Done with affection)

How many boy scouts does it take to screw in a lightbulb?One, but it will take a while ...... he can only do one good turn daily.Enjoy

How may psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?Onebut the bulb has got to want to change.

I bet he could screw UP a light bulb.

One day God calls down to Noah and says, "Noah me old china, I want you to make me a new Ark".Noah replies, "No probs God, me old Supreme Being anything you want after all you're the guv'. But God interrupts, "Ah, but there's a catch. This time Noah, I want not just a couple of decks, I want 20 decks one on top of the other".20 DECKS!", screams Noah. "Well, OK Big Man, whatever you say. Should I fill it up with all the animals just like last time?"
Yep, that's right, well . .. sort of right . .. this time I want you to fill it up with fish", God answers.Fish?", queries Noah.
"Yep, fish. . .well, to make it more specific Noah, I want carp - wall to wall, floor to ceiling - Carp!"
Noah looks to the skies. "OK God my old mucker, let me get this right, you want a New Ark?""Check".
With 20 decks, one on top of the other?"
"Check".
And you want it full of Carp?".
"Check".Why?" asks the perplexed Noah, who was slowly but surely getting to the end of his tether.Dunno", says God, "I just fancied a Multi-Storey Carp Ark".

carp a diem?